Ha Rin's P.O.V

I was awoken from my sleep. Look around quickly and realise we slept here last night; at my old home. I uncurl my body from the floor and sit on my knees. I take a deep breath I see Byunghun sleeping in an upright position against a wall, his arms tightly crossed as though he was battling the cold. I’m sorry Oppa. I search the room and realise that Youngjae is no where to be found.

I feel a slight breeze brush past my face and my legs pull me to stand. I feel compelled to follow it; I was craving fresh air, to able to take a deep breath without inhaling the mildewed scent of this house.

I’m walking towards what used to be a beautiful backyard. It was never anything fancy; a few trees, a rose bush or two, but it was always my favourite place. I saunter outside expecting at least some life to be left in the garden, but no. The trees were no more a luscious shade of green but a faded shade of yellow, the grass almost knee high and overgrown with weeds and the rosebush, a collection of browns and dark, dead-like greens. It’s like someone spread weed killer over the whole backyard. I suppose; I wouldn’t be surprised.

From the corner of my eye I see movement. With a harden glare my head shifts in place expecting to see some freeloader or homeless person sleeping in the garden. But it wouldn’t be the first time my imagination got the better of me.

My gazed softened seeing Youngjae sitting amongst the uncultured grass, pulling shards of the sickly flora from the ground.

“I thought you left.” I say quietly as I sit beside him.

“Ani, I just couldn’t sleep,” He sighs pulling more grass out of the ground. I mimic his action not really sure of what else to do.

“Me neither. I just needed air.”

Its looks as though he nods in agreement. I hear him sigh. For a moment his head raises and he looks ahead of him. I can’t tell what he’s thinking and it surprises me. I stare at him like a child seeing their reflection for the first time; watching every movement; not sure of the person in front of them.  He could be conflicted, he could be anxious, he could just be tired. I don’t know.

“Ha Rin-ah.” His voice breaks the hold I had on my deep thoughts. I look up into his eyes; his eyes that appear to sparkle in the moonlight, like a sky full of stars, like a  light in the darkness. He’s looking right back at me, his gaze matching mine and I feel so nervous suddenly, so compelled to look away but so obligated not to. “What happened to you today?”

He’s still looking into my eyes, his voice soft with an unreadable emotion. I’m about to say something when my voice decides not to work, my mouth opens and nothing comes out. I turn away swiftly and look ahead of me. My thoughts are racing around my head trying to figure out the correct words to say. I don’t want to sound weak. I don’t want to sound heartless. And I don’t want to sound selfish.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Is all he says. He’s looking down at the grass again, elbows resting in his knees. He’s about to pull more shards of grass from the ground when I speak.

“I was scared.” That’s all I say.

He looks up at me with a confused expression as if he wants me to elaborate. I can’t blame him for not understanding.

“I’m scared myself, because I just snapped.” I looked down at the ground,

“Why are you scared of yourself?”

I heave a shaky sigh. “After I yelled at Oppa I felt so guilty. I felt so ashamed of myself, so useless, so weak. I just couldn’t take it. I wanted to disappear.” I stare at a spot in front of me, focusing on nothing in particular. “He was seriously ill and instead of feeling compassion all I felt was anger. That’s what scared me Youngjae. For the first time since I was abandoned I realised that the solitude changed me. I’ve become a horrible person.”

I feel warm teardrops roll down my cheeks. I had no idea I was crying. So much for not sounding weak.  I lower my head and stare at the dead grass. From my peripheral vision I see Youngjae stand and before I can react he’s crouched down in front of me.

Two hands I feel, pressed against the sides of my face, my falling tears being discarded with thumbs. He lifts my head up gently and looks into my eyes, forcing me to do the same.

“You’re not a horrible person.” He stated firmly, removing his hands from my face. “Don’t ever think that.”

I look down at the ground again and I hear him sigh.

“You’re always putting yourself down all the time.” He lifts my head up again so I am looking into his eyes once more. “Do you know how much that hurts me?”

I’m dead. I feel as though everything organ in my body has stopped working and all I can do I stare straight ahead; like looking into his eyes is the only thing I know how to do.  

My heart is beating so fast I feel as though it’s going to fall out of my chest.

Tears are threatening to flow down my face and I don’t understand why I’m crying so much. Suddenly Youngjae grabs my hand and places it to his chest. I can feel his heart beating through my fingers, It’s beating just as fast as mine.

“So,” His voice is soft, “Please don’t hurt me anymore.”

His eyes are still locked on mine as I feel a stray tear escape from my eye and drip down my cheek. Still holding my hand tightly he leans forward and I close my eyes. I feel his lips press against my cheek as kisses my tear away. He’s pulling towards him and enveloping me into a hug, his hand rubbing comforting patterns on my back.

My arms wrap around him in return and I can’t stop the tears from flowing down my face. I’m so glad he’s here with me.

I can his head resting on my shoulder. With every breath he exhales a thousand pins and needles rush through my body.

“Don’t cry.” He breathes, “Please, don’t cry.”

*Urgh Yeolie <3 *Flapps arms around in fangirl trans*

Ha Rin's P.O.V

Three weeks later

“Oppa~~”

I hear Byunghun grumble.

“Oppa~”  

This time there’s no response.  Bringing my mouth right up against his ear I attempt it again.

“Oppa!!!” I yell. I see him spring up from his position on the couch and I’m quite pleased with myself.

“Chunsa,” He whines, rubbing his now sore ear, “What is it?”

“I’m leaving for classes.” I give an ear to ear smile.

“You woke me up for that? Aish… such a troll. I think I’ll call you that from now on.”

A pout forms on my face. “I’m not a troll. Just because I’m short… I probably get that from you.”

I can hear him huff; I know he doesn’t like being teased about his height.

“It’s okay, Oppa.” I smile. “I’m going now.”

“Arraso. Be careful, Troll.”

I poke my tongue out before slamming the door closed. Immature. As I walk past the dining room window I lean in. “Bye, Oppa!”

He looks up and gives a wave. “Bye Bye! Don’t eat the children!”

Humpf. He’s so mean.

I get to school and walk into the gates, clutching my textbooks for class. I’m walking towards the recreational area when I see Sung Gi at sitting at one of the seats waiting for me. “Unnie!” I call out.

She looks up and I wave my arm from side to side enthusiastically. Jumping up from where she was sitting she ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me jumping up and down. I’m jolting around so much I think I might drop my books. She pulls away her hands resting on my shoulders.

“Did you have a good weekend?” I asked and she gave a bright smile and nodded.

“You?”

I pulled my mouth into a smile and nodded. Sung Gi moved positions until she was beside me and linked her arm with mine. “Chingu-ah, let’s go.” ‘

She and I walked to our first of three classes of the day which was maths. Upon arrival she and I contently sat in our seats and watched as the rest of the students slowly began to file in. When the teacher walked in the chatter around the room hushed as he directed the class. I felt really odd without Youngjae beside me, something I had to get used to when the new classes were assigned. He’s barely in any of my classes now.

It’s time for recess and Sung Gi leads the way out still gossiping about the English teacher we just had.

“What happened to our usual teacher? The stand in was so bad! She’s such a witch!” Sung Gi complained. “I can’t believe she gave me clean up duty because I told her her necklace was crooked; I even said it in English!.”

“Unnie, she asked for an example of a simple sentence not for fashion advice.”

“Girls around this school would beg for my advice.” She countered.

“Yes, but somehow I don’t think she really valued your opinion.”

Sung Gi gave a pout. “Still a witch.”

I pull off my bag from my back and sit it on the lunch table, stuffing my textbooks inside and I pull out my lunch.

“Aren’t you getting lunch today?” Sung Gi asks.

I shake my head. “Oppa cooked some concoction for dinner last night and is making me finish it. Somehow, after eating this, I don’t think I’ll be hungry.”

She gave a slight scoff. “It can’t taste that bad…”

I piled up a spoonful and fed it to her. I saw her facial expression change sour and as soon as she swallowed she started to gag.

“Water! water!” Her voice was reeking with desperation. As quickly as I could I handed her my water bottle. She gulped down the water and washed out.  

At that moment I saw Youngjae walk up and sit beside me.

“Annyeong,” he smiled as he kissed my cheek. He was about to say something when he noticed Sung Gi spitting out water.

“Is she vomiting?” He sounded genuinely worried. I just laughed and shook my head. I gave him a sweet smile.

“You wanna try some of Byunghun Oppa’s cooking?”

Hey Guys^^ Here's another update for you... It's more sweet~~ Lol- BEWARE BYUNGHUN'S COOKING IS FATAL

I hope you guys like it ;)

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Who's excited for B.A.P's Comeback??? ME!!!!!! *0* 

And it's a y looking concept!!...my feels x_x  I think I'm dead right now.

I see a light... there are K-idols waiting to me to heaven... @-@ 

I'm sorry guys, the truth is it's really late here and I'm kinda on a sugar/fangirl high *spaz*

Ok, I'm  being a bit creepy.

I hope you enjoyed my update and rambling.