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Unchained
Ha Rin's POV
It's about 7 in the morning and Byunghun still isn't awake. He's been out for almost 17 hours. I'm still sitting in my corner, my legs feeling numb from the lack of movement. I've been awake all night, not moving. It's like I have no energy. Like I have lost of capability to do things on my own. I don't feel hungry, I don't feel tired. All I feel is a strong anxious feeling twisting knots in my stomach. My heart is pumping so loud I can hear it through my ears.
My eyes are intently staring at the bed across the room; on my brother. Every second that passes I wish he would open his eyes; that he would say something in his sleep like he usually does; do something to prove he's alive. All I hear is faint breathing and it's killing me. I don't know what's wrong with him, but worse, I don't know how to help him. I keep thinking of the hospital form I found on the counter the other day. He must know what's making him like this. Why isn't he saying anything?
"Are you coming to classes?" Youngjae's voice startled me. "If you are we need to go."
No. I'm not going.
I shake my head, not trusting myself to speak. From the corner of my eye I saw him walk over to me and sit down.
"You can't stay in here all day, you need to get out." He said softly, "you'll make yourself sick."
"I-I don't care" my voice cracked; I couldn't help it.
"Ha Rin-ah..."
"I'm not going." I stated bluntly.
I hear him sigh."Arraso."
He stood up firmly and walked out. I feel horrible for doing that.
Chunsa~ ... Chunsa~ ... Wake up~~~
My eyes shoot open and dart across the room. Just a dream...what time is it? It looks near dark outside.
"Chunsa..." I hear Byunghun's soft voice. My head snaps in its direction. It was so quiet, I'm not sure if Imagined it. I see a slight movement from the other side of the room.
"Oppa, are you awake?"
"Mmmm."
"My head is killing me," he chuckled slightly.
I'm now standing; Walking across the room, still not sure if this is all a mirage. I flick the light switch. As light cascades into the room I heard him hiss at the sudden brightness.
It's all to real to be a dream. I can see him fully functional in front of me, he's talking, he's moving, he's even joking around. It's as if nothing ever happened; like he just woke up from sleeping on an average morning.
"Did you really need to turn the light on?" Byunghun breathed, his hands blocking the harsh light from piercing his eyes.
The sun is setting, casting a dark red glow through the room. The was some light but not enough to see clearly without the room light.
I just nod. I feel so happy, so anxious. I'm thrilled that he's okay, that he's awake. But I'm so angry and frustrated; why didn't he say anything? I want to hate him so much for not confiding enough in me. My feelings are all jumbled up and I don't know which ones to show first. I don't know how I should act or what I should say. It's better that I stay quiet.
"How long have I been asleep?" He asked sitting up.
I'm too deep in thought to answer. I just keep seeing the world around me spin. My stomach is tight and my body is stiff.
"Chunsa?"
He's persisting.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered. My mood is finding its way out on its own and I can't control it. "Why didn't you say anything?" I find my voice getting louder.
Byunghun remains silent; looks away shamefully.
"Y-you let me believe that everything was perfect," My voice is shaking and I can't stop it. My eyes are watering to much. "that my life was starting to get better."
I'm on my knees, staring at the wall at this point. Fixing my eyes on a spot, trying to consolidate myself. I take a deep breath. "You knew you were sick and you said nothing."
"Why did you even come back?"
He's not saying anything. I feel terrible for speaking out like this but it's like my mouth has a mind of its own.
My eyes shift back to him; staring down at his fingers. I feel so guilty; he's sick. I should be taking care of him, asking questions like 'are you okay?' or 'do you need anything?'. Instead I'm rousing. I'm crying now. I feel like that's all I have been doing. Tears are falling like crazy; because I'm sad, because I'm hurt and because I hurt my brother.
He opens his mouth to say something but stops, like he choked in his own words.
I stand up quickly. I can't handle this.
"O-Oppa, I-I'm so sorry."
My legs carry me out of the room swiftly. I find myself running; running down the stairs, running out of the house.
I just want to get away from everything. I want to go somewhere where no one can find me and just scream.
I'm sprinting down the street, the wind hitting my face mercilessly. I don't know where I'm going and I don't care. Tears are pouring down my face.
My legs are burning from running so much. My chest is on fire from the lack of oxygen. I just keep running. I don't want to stop.
Pain is radiating through my body and I'm having difficultly sustaining my pace. My legs stop moving and i find myself hunched over, my hands on my knees, gasping for oxygen.
Every breath I take in is like razor blades being shoved down my throat and into my lungs. I'm coughing and wheezing and my heart is racing. I hear it pulsing though my ears.
I burst into hysterics. I sink to my knees in the middle of the footpath. My face is resting in my hands. The moonlight is shining over me. My emotions are burning holes inside of me. I'm crying. I'm crying so loudly that's is like I'm screaming. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel a water drop on my shoulder, then another on my head. (Perfect) Within seconds the rain in pelting down on me.
"Is that all you got?!" I scream as if someone will answer me; as if the rain was some kind of force just trying to make my life worse. My face is still wet with tears. "You really have the most perfect timing don't you?!"
I let out another scream.
I look up to see a familiar building; a familiar exterior. My old home.For a moment I feel relieved but not for much longer. The outside is worn and tattered with a sign stuck to the door. Condemned.
I pick myself off the pavement and walk inside. The wooden interior is rotten and there is a stench of mildew in the air. I look around; Everything is just as I remember. To my right I walk into the family room. As I walk past the window I run my fingertips along the sill.
I remember when I was a child, about five or six, me, umma, and Byunghun who would have been about eight, sitting around the Christmas tree. Umma was sipping her coffee mug watching me and my brother open our Christmas presents. I remember appa coming from the kitchen holding a plate full of sweets. He set them down on the coffee table and sat beside umma; wrapping his arm around her and kissing her cheek. Me and my brother had gotten new winter clothes as well as a bike each, mine with training wheels. Umma told us to take a cookie each then go get changed into our new clothes. Me and Byunghun ended up fighting over a particular cookie. Umma stood up, broke the cookie in half, then gave is each a piece.
I remember all of us playing in the snow the next morning; throwing snow at each other, building snowmen. Appa would chase us around every time either me or Byunghun hit him with snow.
I have no idea what made Appa turn so cold. Maybe it really was me. I tried to be a good daughter; even after umma passed away, I tried my best to hold together.
My back slides down the wall until I'm an sitting with my legs in arches in front of me. I've ruined everything about my life. My father hates me, my brother probably hates me too, and Youngjae... Well, I'm not sure.
I tuck my head in my arms that are resting on my knees. The sound of the rain outside is calming; it's settling my emotions.
After a while my is starting to sting so I shift a little. I almost jump out of my skin when I hear the door open. This house is 'condemned', who would be here?
I was panicking. What if its a stalker? Or a who followed me here? I sigh quietly. Hit myself with my palm. Stop thinking nonsense Ha Rin. The footsteps were light but walked down the corridor and stopped. I saw the figure's back. He looked around and then focused on my. I couldn't believe it. How did he find me here?
"Ha Rin?" Youngjae spoke, "what are you doing here?"
I said nothing but began to cry again. He turned his head at a second person who was walking through the door. I heard a mumble.
"Yeah, Hyung. She's over there."
My stomach dropped in its place. Oppa.
I saw him stand next to Youngjae; the moonlight from outside shining on them both. They both were soaking wet. Byunghun was running his arms as if to warm them. He shouldn't have been out in the rain while he's still so I'll. Youngjae just stood still.
"Chunsa? What are you doing here?"
Annyeong!!! Here is another update... It's been pretty slow because my internet connection so much .
on a brighter note... It's almost KRIStmas!! <3 yay~~~ gotta set up the KRISsy tree^^
My new trailer is almost complete also... I should be able to upload it on Boxing Day ;)
COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE... UPVOTE.. Whichever one you prefer.... Pretty please~~~ ^_^
SARANGHAE!!!~~
Story is nearly finished^^ working on the last couple of chapters at the moment~~
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