March 2nd, 2014

"Hyung..."

Dongwoo sat down with a loud thud in front of Sunggyu who was watching the baby who had finally stopped crying after much consoles. Sunggyu wasn't looking up at Dongwoo, lost in his thoughts and jumped a little when Dongwoo reached over to touch his shoulder.

"Hyung, you're okay?" He asked, looking at the older man with a worried expression.

Sunggyu smiled weakly. "I'm not."

"I'm sorry..." Dongwoo said, looking like he was about to cry. "I thought it was the best opportunity for hyung and Seul-ki to talk things over... Seul-ki...?"

"She left." Sunggyu replied, still smiling feebly. "We didn't get to talk about anything. She just wouldn't stay."

"Hyung, you could have gone after her!"

"And leave the baby here?" He laughed dryly.

"Well, you could have dragged her back in!" Dongwoo said, getting agitated.

"Dongwoo." He shook his head. "Of course, I can do all that. Even right now, I can just go and look for her, and drag her home, regardless if she wants me to or not. But..." He sighed. "Since the very beginning, Seul-ki was always forced in this marriage. First she was forced to marry me, then she was forced to act as my cousin, and now it will just be another act of force if I drag her back home."

"Hyung..."

"It may sound stupid. It may make it seems like I'm doing a pointless thing. But if I do force her again, she'd be forever feels bitter about this whole marriage and that is when it will fall apart."

"So, you're only going to wait?"

"Not really." He smiled genuinely. "I'm going to disturb her a lot."

Dongwoo tilted his head and tried to figure out what Sunggyu meant by it but the latter never offered any explanation. Sunggyu excused himself after assuring him that he was fine, but Dongwoo was still a bit reluctant to let his hyung go home. He offered Sunggyu dinner which the older man refused with an apologetic smile. Sunggyu however didn't straight away go home, but he made a stop at the nearest playground, and peeked inside the tunnel to see if she was there. The kids playing around looked at him strangely as he scanned around the park. He smiled at them but they all ran away from him. Feeling a little dejected, he went home.

Sunggyu went straight to Seul-ki's room once he got home. It had always been like this after Seul-ki stopped coming home. He would spend time just sitting in the room, looking up at the posters on the wall. Of course, he still felt annoyed by them, but he missed it more listening to her talking about them in her melodious voice and how she would look genuinely happy. And he was reminded of how they spent their time talking on the futon until they fell asleep.

Did he take her for granted, he asked himself as he looked at her untouched stuff against the wall. Seul-ki was supposed to be his wife but why was the room looking more fitting for her rather than their room? Sunggyu took a deep breath and his eyes fell onto the red box near her other things. He had never really touched her stuff, knowing that she hated it when someone looks into her things. Looking all around him, Sunggyu walked on his knees and crossed his legs as he reached the box. He opened it and was awed at the amount of stuff inside it. He took out the bundles of unsent letters, and picked one of them, and read it.

Dear Yunho-sshi, when will you call up Jaejoong-sshi, Junsu-sshi and Yuchun-sshi and be five again? Because TVXQ will always be 5 people, right?

- Lee Seul-ki

Sunggyu scratched his head and sighed. He couldn't help but to feel that his wife was one hopeless fangirl. He took out another letter.

Jaejoong-sshi, how are you? I hope you're not busy spamming LINE or Instragram and is recording some new songs. I wish Yuchun-sshi  and Junsu-sshi too would be in the studio recording with you. I miss JYJ ;( I love your solo album and I am looking forward to the full album! And then you can go to Japan and promote again. It's been a while, right? You can finally go there again! I'm so happy for you~! And I wish that I can chase you everywhere since I'm already in uni and is in Seoul, but I'm already married... >//<

Sorry that I didn't wait for you, Jaejoong-sshi! But I can introduce you to my friend, Kim Myungsoo. He likes you very, very much. XD                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             - Seul-ki <3

Sunggyu was just having a facepalm moment when he finished reading it but he soon found himself laughing weakly. He was glad that she didn't send out the embarrassing letters, but he figured it was for that reason that she didn't in the first place. He shook his head and began looking into more of her stuff, and found a long white envelope. He slipped in his fingers to pull out the content, just to find a concert ticket. He furrowed when he was looking at it, noticing the date of the concert, and was surprised to see that the both sides of ticket were still attached.

"When did she... Why-" Sunggyu cupped his mouth, and tried to figure out why she didn't attend the concert. There was only one way to find out, he thought as he took out his phone and dialed Myungsoo's number without the slightest hesitation.

"Yeah, she missed the concert. You were sick." Myungsoo hung up almost immediately. Sunggyu felt like throwing up when he heard about it. And he thought about why he was sick; he was out drinking with Youngeun the night before and was caught under the rain. He felt his lips and hand were shivering as he cupped his mouth. He bit the knuckle of his index finger and spent a long moment just staring at the ticket. He then realised why Seul-ki was so upset with him afterwards and the thought that she actually sacrificed her favourite singer's concert just to take care of him drove him to the verge of the tears. Because all along, Sunggyu had thought that Seul-ki prioritised her TVXQ more than him. And then he knew he was wrong all along.

"Oh god, Seul-ki. What did I do...?"

He put away the ticket and closed the box with a solemn face. He stood up and looked around the room for another time before he went out of the room. He stood in the living room, to find it rather messy, just like how it was when they weren't married yet. The kids would always drop by and spent their time there, eating and drinking in an attempt to cheer him up but most of the time, they would go home without cleaning. He moaned in despair and went to pick up the stained mugs on the coffee table and brought them to the kitchen. As he was washing the mug, he noticed something that he didn't before; there was something written under the bear mug he was holding.

Sunggyu-sshi

He quickly took the other identical mug and looked under it.

Lee Seul-ki ^^

Sunggyu smiled to himself but his lips were shivering and soon enough, some drops of tears fell from his eyes. How could he never notice these little things that Seul-ki did for him? He began to realise that he had overlooked many things and then he was accusing her to be uncommitted to the marriage. He realised he was the one driving her away from the marriage by having all those negative thoughts about her and she would always keep things to herself even when she was upset over the fact that Sunggyu was still seeing his old girlfriend.

How could he force her to come home then?

The kids appeared again that evening, with the exception of Dongwoo who had to go to his dance class. They helped themselves in the kitchen, taking out the groceries that Sunggyu had never fail to stock even when Seul-ki wasn't home. It was so that when she does, everything would be in there, he thought. Woohyun was cutting up the meat while Howon was peeling potatoes and Sungjong was going through the vegetables in the fridge. Sungyeol had gone down to the shop to buy some snacks. Sunggyu appeared at the kitchen, leaning against the wall, fresh from shower.

"Hyung, look at his." Howon said, putting up the potato that he just cut up into love shape. Woohyun quickly glared at him and managed a small shake of his head, sending a mental note to Howon to stop bringing the 'love' topic around Sunggyu. "Sorry."

Sunggyu laughed feebly. "What are you cooking? Where can I help?"

"There's no need to!" Everyone shouted in unison. He scanned each of their faces questioningly.

"Hyung should just rest and watch some drama." Sungjong said, nodding his head.

"Yeah. I think they're showing Park Yuchun's Rooftop Prince again." Woohyun said, but Howon quickly nudged him with his elbows, widening his eyes and sending a mental note to Woohyun to not mention anything about TVXQ.

Their hyung broke into a laugh. Obviously, they must have heard something about Dongwoo and thought he was upset. Of course he was, but with the kids around trying to cheer him up, he felt a sort of relief. "I'll help to cook the rice then."

"Do you know how?" Howon asked.

"I watched Seul-ki a few times." He smiled and went to retrieve the pot. Woohyun, Howon and Sungjong were looking at each other in distraught and were noticed by Sunggyu. "Yah, what are you dilly-dallying for? Hurry up and cook!" They all jumped and felt silly as instead of being upset be