Jan 21, 2014

Myungsoo was sitting at his desk, clicking next on pictures after pictures, leaning his cheek upon his hand. A picture of Seul-ki sitting on the beach, watching the sunset stopped his hand, and while his face might seem stolid, his heart was saying otherwise. The pictures, along with some others that he had first transferred into his computer and deleted from his camera stayed as a secret from Seul-ki and it made him felt a little like a stalker but it was only his way to protect her; from feeling guilty over his own feelings.

His mind wandered off to the moment he heard about Seul-ki getting involved in an accident, and although a major part of him wanted to see her at that very moment, he stopped himself. Although it was hard, and his heart remained worried, he somehow managed not to pick up his phone and dialed her number, and even at uni, he was only watching from a distant; with his face surly.

His phone on the desk vibrated, and he had wanted to ignore the call but the ringing went on before it almost ended, and he was surprised to see that it was Sunggyu calling him.

"Kim Myungsoo, is Seul-ki with you?" Sunggyu's voice was breathless, as if he had been running, and Myungsoo stood up slowly, and went out of his room to not disturb his roommate who was sleeping.

"No. She isn't with me."

"Do you know any place where she might be at right now?"

"Ye-eun's?"

"No, she isn't there..." Sunggyu panted.

"What's going on? Has she run away again?"

"Y...yes." He replied, and Myungsoo could hear him gulping when he tried to go on. "She's not answering my calls and now it wouldn't connect at all... I'm thinking that you would know some places that she might be at..."

"Perhaps you should just let her be? I'm sure she's just at her friend's or somewhere and will come back tomorrow morning-"

"No." Sunggyu interjected. "I don't think she'd come back just like that... I'm not sure but I don't really have a good feeling right now. I need to find her..." His voice sounded unsure, as if he was at loss, and Myungsoo felt strange and his stomach went a little hollow, and he was beginning to feel worry for real.

"What actually happened?"

"I don't have time to explain. But please, please let me know if she contacts you, and if you are able to, please help me look for her." Sunggyu had never sounded so desperate before. "Please."

Myungsoo took his friend's car keys from his desk once Sunggyu hung up, and hurried down the building, and the cold weather took him by surprise, and he started to have bad feelings. Once he was sitting in the car, he tried calling her but just as Sunggyu had told him; it wasn't even connecting, showing that her phone had been switched off.

"Lee Seul, just what are you doing?" He asked himself, starting the engine and glanced at the time. It was 15 minutes after midnight, and he started praying that there was nothing bad happening, and that his bad feelings were just feelings. He began by driving towards Seul-ki's apartment, but neither Sunggyu nor she was there, so he drove around a little around the neighbourhood; his eyes sharply observing the quiet surrounding. Then he saw the playground, and his memory rewound to the time when they were younger; the time when he first met her.

It was probably because of the sullen look she was always wearing, or because she was new to the neighbourhood or the fact that she wouldn't hesitate to kick someone's shin if she gets angry, but Lee Seul-ki didn't really have friends when she was younger. She was always missing from the kindergarten and a lady would pay frequent visit to the centre, and Seul-ki would end up being called up to the headmistress' office and they would ask her where she went to the day before but they had never gotten a straight answer and by time they had given up on her and the centre was never that glad to see a child leaving the school even before the term ended.

Myungsoo first saw her when she was sitting up inside the playground tunnel, and the other kids wouldn't dare to ask her to play with them, or ask to use the tunnel. She'd always either have comics or storybooks that she would spend time rereading them, with a rather gloomy face. Myungsoo, just like the other kid, would just stay away from her because he too, didn't want to be kicked by her so he paid no attention to her. He only knew her as they attended the same elementary school, but they were in different classes and it wasn't until he saw her that afternoon that he began to take interest in her.

Myungsoo was running an errand for her mother, after much protesting because he was watching some cartoon on the television when he passed by the playground that day. No one was playing because it was drizzling but it was by chance that he saw her sitting up in the playground tunnel, with her face in her knees. Unknowingly, he had stopped running and was just staring at her from a distant and he looked around to see if anyone else was there. For the full 3 minutes he was looking at her, she was only burying her face without looking up even a single time and seeing that the rain was getting heavier, he ran back home.

"Eomma, there was a girl at the playground just now." He said, handing over the eggs and milk that he had bought. His mother began putting away the eggs, and threw him an uninterested look.

"Was she a friend of yours?"

"No. But she's someone from school."

"I think she was just sheltering from the rain?" His mother said, and then she busied herself with cooking and Myungsoo walked out from the kitchen and looked outside of the balcony, at the heavy rain and he wondered whether she was just sheltering from the rain.

She was missing from school for the few days and also from the playground, and Myungsoo was beginning to think that maybe she was a ghost or something but some other people clearly knew her as well, so that was impossible. She appeared almost a week later, and the first day she came back, she was already having a fight with a boy who made fun of her shoes, which were too small for her and battered but she never paid any attention, and was just looking ahead with a serious face. Frustrated, the boy started to pick up on another girl who had a rather big head and called her names and the next thing he knew, Seul-ki was tearing out his hair. That was the time where she was punished to clean the boys' toilet, and where Myungsoo heard her singing Carrot Song.

After school, the boys and his friends ganged up on her and threw pebbles and hit her with a stick but she managed to fight through them and ran away. Myungsoo who saw it all was just too scared to even ask the boys to stop and he felt really awful for it and it was even worst when she caught him looking at her while she was running away. And then Seul-ki was gone for another few days and came back to school with an even sour look. He decided not to meddle with her any longer because he felt rather ashamed, and he knew that she wouldn't want him to try and befriend her.

It wasn't until they turned 10 that Myungsoo saw her smile, for the very first time. She was standing in front of a music store, staring up at something on the glass window, gripping the straps of her back pack tightly, and to his amazement, she was smiling really wide. Then she looked down and looked around on the displayed CDs and put her hands and pressed her face against the glass, just to be scolded by the store keeper seconds later. She pouted and walked away, before shooting a glance at the poster once more. Myungsoo then stood at the same place she was standing earlier and gazed up the poster she was staring up.

"Dong... Bang Chin Gi?" He tilted his head, "Ahh... Maybe it's actually Dong Bang Chingu? (East Friends)" He said, to himself, because he had mistakenly read신 (shin) as 친 (chin). He then scanned the five people in the poster without any expression before he turned towards the direction that she had walked away to, and then he looked down on the CDs, for a long time.

Then, for almost a month, he managed to skip his snacks and asked for money whenever anyone in the family asked him to run an errand and when his halmeoni came over and gave him pocket money, he had just enough to buy the CD but his jaw just dropped when he saw that the store had ran out of stock. Disappointed, he dragged his feet and walked towards the playground, just to meet Seul-ki who was sitting up on a bench, alone, and her eyes were wide while listening to her Discman (which clearly belonged to a generation before). Myungsoo was then just staring at her and eventually, she looked up and noticed him.

"What?"

The first word ever that she had ever said to him and it was a mere 'what'. His eyes then landed onto her Disc