June 14, 2013

Sunggyu stared at her bleakly, looking at the tears that were pouring out of her eyes. Slowly, he let her wrists go and Seul-ki quickly wiped her nose without looking at him. Her heart was beating rapidly and she started sobbing, making it a bit hard for her to breathe. Sunggyu felt guilt swimming in his stomach and he tried to touch her shoulder to calm her down but she pulled up her knees first, and hid her face away.

He looked at her guiltily, furrowing hard. "Yah..." Seul-ki was still sobbing, and her body shook every now and then, drawing more and more guilt in Sunggyu. "I didn't mean to... shout at you." He went on, feeling more miserable. "Lee Seul-ki-yah." He awkwardly reached out for her head, patting her just as awkwardly.

She looked up and glared at him, sniffing but her tears had ceased a little, making Sunggyu felt just a tad relieved but he was still patting her head. Seul-ki watched as he smiled guilty, and it softened her gaze a bit. Then he pulled his hand away, putting them in between his laps as he sat crossed-legged, making a somehow cute face, moving to and fro.

"I'll let them know." He said, with a quiet voice. "Soon."

She became angry again as she glared at him. "Then let's stay as cousins until 'soon' comes."

He stopped rocking his body and took a deep breath so that he won't shout again. "I'm not doing this purposely you know. I mean, what about you? Don't you feel burdened to let people know that you're married when they know you're only 19?" He said; his voice strained.

"I don't." She snapped. "So it's because of me, isn't it? It's because I'm young and I'm only a high school graduate so you're ashamed of marrying me."

"I didn't say that!"

"Well, indirectly, that is what I heard!" She said, loudly. "Why did you marry me in the first place anyway?"

"I told you it was because of Halmeoni."

"Was it so hard to refuse Halmeoni? You know, she'll get over it someday but instead you chose to get yourself stuck with me. Are you an idiot..." She muttered.

"Yah, I heard that!" He said, widening his eyes. "I'm doing this for a good reason."

"What good reason? You're not even happy!"

"Who says I'm not?" He said, furrowing, looking at her straight in the eyes, making Seul-ki quiet as she studied his gaze. She totally didn't expect that as she looked away, feeling burdened by his gaze.

"You don't even want to admit me as your wife..." She said, mumbling but Sunggyu heard her clearly.

"That is because I'm not ready to tell them..." He said, sighing.

"Then didn't you ever think how I was not ready to become your wife?" She said, tears welling up in her eyes again but she quickly wiped them away. He looked at her distraught face, feeling miserable himself. "Why did you marry me in the first place..."

"I fell in love with your cooking." He said, observing her teary face and voice and Seul-ki couldn't help but to feel her heart fluttering a bit but she held it in and put up a glare.

"Then you should've taken me as a cook, and not your wife. I'm not my cooking."

"Do you regret marrying me then, Lee Seul-ki?" He asked, quietly.

Seul-ki was silent, unsure of what to answer him. Wasn't it too early to feel regret? Besides, the past few days had been rather sweet and she had just made herself comfortable of sleeping next to Sunggyu. She loved cooking for him, and felt her chest swell every time he finishes everything on his plate. "No..."

Sunggyu formed a feeble smile and looked down on the floor. "Me too." He said, scratching his cheek. "I don't regret marrying Lee Seul-ki. But..." He sighed. "Just like Sungyeol said, there wasn't even one girl who didn't complain about me. And I think you too already have things to complain about me." He laughed wryly. "I admit I'm not good with girls and every one that I looked for myself ended up leaving me in the end. But I don't really mind since it's not like I like them that much. Sometimes I think they date me so that they can get closer to my friends." He said, bluntly. "Yeah, at first I thought this whole arranged marriage thing was ridiculous but I think, just like my parents who found love after marriage, I feel like I want it to work for me too." He said, smiling a bit. "But it looks like I'm not doing so well..."

Seul-ki watched him quietly, feeling burdened to look at his sad face. She sniffed and wiped her nose. "But Kim Sunggyu-sshi is not a bad person at all." She began, looking down on the floor.

"Perhaps you don't know me yet." He smiled, faintly. "It's been only a week since we got married but I'm already shouting at you..."

"That's because I was disrespectful to you. I should've have done that. I'm sorry..." She said, weakly and Sunggyu patted her head, making her shy.

"I'll let them know soon."

"Really?" Her eyes widened up as Sunggyu was still patting her head.

He nodded and smiled. "Um! I'll let everyone knows that Lee Seul-ki is my wife and her cooking is the best." Seul-ki smiled sheepishly and sniffed, and startled when Sunggyu wiped the corner of her eyes with his fingers. "I don't like to see you crying. You don't look cute at all." Seul-ki frowned but Sunggyu laughed weakly and looked at her intently, his thumb still caressing her cheekbone. Seul-ki stiffened up and said nothing, feeling her heart going a bit faster. He pulled his hand away and Seul-ki felt a bit lonely, though she couldn't be sure why she felt so. Somehow, having him caressing her face felt so nice, she thought and blushed. Sunggyu noticed her face and looked down on the floor, at the little space left between them, and his gaze crept up to her curled up toes and mindlessly, he touched them, startling Seul-ki so much that she almost kicked him. "Yah, your feet are cold."

"I'm fine." She sniffed, trying to pull her feet away but Sunggyu pulled them faster and started to rub them, freaking her out. She squirmed, trying to struggle out his grip but Sunggyu's grip was even stronger. He was rubbing her fingers together, tickling her a bit and she let out a little whimper when Sunggyu pulled up her foot and wanted to rub her sole and when he did, she almost wanted to pee because it was tickling her so much. "No!" She pulled her foot and hugged her knees tighter, leaving Sunggyu in surprise.

"Are you by in any chance... ticklish?" He asked, bluntly when he was reminded of how she jumped when he touched her waist earlier and saw as Seul-ki's face reddened madly and it took him a few seconds before realizing how crude his question was. He scratched his cheek and felt his face burning a bit. "Well, well... Look at how cold your feet are! That's why you can't sleep in here! Brrrrrr! I'm cold! Let's go and sleep!" He said, getting up but Seul-ki was unmoving. "Lee Seul-ki." He said, with an authority tone.

Seul-ki sulkily got up and looked down on the floor and Sunggyu turned and walked out of the room, glancing over his shoulder to make sure she was following him. When they entered their bedroom, he stood near the bed and motioned her to get on the bed first. She looked at him miserably before climbing in and when she did, he got on as well, and watched as she inched away towards the wall, facing it. He pulled the blanket up to her shoulder and sighed when she cringed, sniffing still. He lay down and looked up the ceiling.

"Lee Seul-ki."

"Um?"

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry."

It was the first sorry he had said to Seul-ki.

Sunggyu cleared his throat and Seul-ki turned to him, and watched his side profile. He got nervous when she did and stole a glance at her, but it was caught by her. He tightened his lips and pulled the blanket up, ignoring her sharp glance.

"Kim Sunggyu-sshi?"

"Ye-yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What will happen if we can't find love for each other until the end?"

Sunggyu watched the ceiling intently, with his chest becoming a bit heavy as he weighed her question. He could sense how she was scared but she didn't really want to show it. He realised how Seul-ki really liked to put up a strong face but at times like this, she looked vulnerable and small next to him.

"It's not that hard." He said, turning to her, with his whole body, so that he was lying on his side, face-to-face with Seul-ki who was doing the same. "I already like Lee Seul-ki anyway."

Seul-ki stared at him with wide eyes, shut tight as she looked down on his chest and gulped. "Me too..."

"Hm?"

"I like... Kim Sunggyu-sshi too."

"That's good then." He smiled. "You're my wife after all, so you need to like me." She laughed a bit, making Sunggyu laughed along. She shut her eyes when Sunggyu's stare got a bit overwhelming, pretending to sleep. Even when Sunggyu had fallen asleep facing her, Seul-ki couldn't bring herself to sleep. She watched Sunggyu's sleeping face, smiling to herself like an idiot, feeling her heart fluttering.

Sunggyu woke up, his eyes barely opened when his alarm goes off and when he turned, he saw Seul-ki still fast asleep, near his arm. He looked at her puffy face and realised it was the first time he woke up before her. He was unsure of whether to wake her up since she looked like she was sleeping so soundly and seemed to have mistaken his arm as a pillow when she started to hug his arm. Sunggyu panicked and went rigid when she snuggled her face into his arm, her soft lips brushing his skin. He could feel her breathing against his skin and he looked at her sleeping face and gulped. Perhaps because she was still young and she was his wife, having her near him sort of made him jumpy and panic as he looked at her somehow cute sleeping face.

He couldn't hold it in so he lifted his arm, "Yah! Wake up!"

Seul-ki opened her eyes and looked at Sunggyu dreamily. Her mind wasn't really in the correct state as she had only slept for an hour. She moaned and sat up, looking at him with but she was almost glaring.

"Thin eyes." She muttered and crashed on her pillow again, curling up into a ball. Sunggyu's eyes widened as he sat up and he shook her torso, hard.

"Yah! What did you say? Yah, Lee Seul-ki, wake up!"

She moaned again and curled tighter. Sunggyu was unsure of what to do then but Seul-ki didn't look like she wants to get up anytime soon. He sighed before giving up, deciding to give her the opportunity to sleep in for that day. He got up, and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

He thought of his breakfast while he was under the shower and moaned in despair when he realised he wasn't getting any that morning. He stepped out after wrapping his waist with his towel and the first thing he did is to look if Seul-ki was awake so that he could just get dressed up in the room. She was still sound asleep, he had observed and went to the drawer to pull out his underwear and put it on without taking off his towel. He then took out his pants and tried putting it on before he felt someone was staring at his back. He turned to see Seul-ki sitting up, furrowing like she was angry but her eyes were still sleepy and he quickly pulled up his pants, making his towel dropped to reveal his underwear. Panicked, he tried to pull his pants up but his leg got stuck and he was limping around and eventually fell with a thud on the floor.

"Kim Sunggyu-sshi..?" Seul-ki sat up straight and went to the edge of the bed to see if he was alright. His pants were halfway up his legs and he was lying on his stomach, too embarrassed to even get up, to the point he felt like crying. Seul-ki's eyes went to his behind, at his boring gray underwear before she lay down again, pulled up the blanket up to her face. "I won't look! So, you can get up...!"