→ M I N H E E

I walked into one of the coffee shops around the corner to get some alone time. I didn't want to get tons of phone calls from Jongin or Kyungsoo, so I turned it off and just shoved it in my bag. What I needed at the moment was personal space. 

Honestly, I just didn't know what to do. I just wanted myself to be happy, but I also wanted Jongin and Hye Ri to be happy. I didn't want to put my needs first, because it was selfish of me to mess with their fate. Who am I to mess with their fate? No one. 

Jongin deserved someone who loved, supported, and cared for him. Of course I could be the person to do that, but I also needed him to love, support, and care back. But that can't happen, especially if he was destined to be with Hye Ri.

I just needed to get away from everyone for a while, and as insane as it sounds, I wanted to be out of the country. I felt like just being alone in my dorm wouldn't be enough, I needed to be somewhere far away. I knew that if I was in the same area as Jongin, I would just come crawling back like a little helpless and vulnerable peasant.

The first place that came to mind was America, but America was way too far. I needed a place that was far away, but not too far away. A place that was close, but not too close. America was just completely off of the list because I was a foreigner. A foreign teenage girl like me would bound to run into trouble, especially because of the language barriers.

The next place that came to mind was Japan, maybe Japan was a little bit too close., but Japan could work. I had some cousins that lived in Japan, although, the last time that I spoke to my cousins were ages ago and I didn't think that they'd want me to call them up on such short notice.

And for me to just come over without having an actual reason to? They'd probably think I just want money from them. Sure, I had a reason. But maybe that reason was a little bit too childish, I mean, I'm leaving Seoul just because the "love of my life" loves another girl. Is that even a real reason? I don't think so.

I sat there, skimming through all different types of countries in my mind. Honestly, I didn't even know if my parents would allow me to just leave Seoul. I'm sure that they'd understand, especially since they've known about my huge crush on Jongin for a couple of years, now. I'm not even sure if it's a crush, anymore. They were teenagers once, and you know, hormones. Just blame the hormones. 

A light voice snapped me back into reality, and that was when I realized what I was going to do. I'm leaving Seoul. I'm going somewhere far away. I'm doing this all because of a boy, but not just any boy, Kim Jongin. And then the voice snapped me back into reality, again. "Ma'am, are you going to order anything?" 

Right. I've been sitting here for approximately an hour now and I haven't even ordered anything, I'm sure that if I said no, the waitress would probably ask me to leave, but I couldn't leave. I needed to stay away from Jongin and Kyungsoo, and this was the perfect place. The coffee aroma soothed me, and it made me feel a lot calmer. I didn't want to leave. "Uh, sure." I replied.

The waitress gave me a look before taking out her little notepad to get my order, maybe it was the fact that I have been sitting here for an hour, or maybe it was the fact that I was here this early in the morning and I didn't even bother to brush my hair, I didn't know. Either way, she was still judging me and I could tell. "What would you like to order?" she finally asked me. I scanned her features, almost as if I was about to sketch her or something. Her hair was pulled up into this high pony-tail, and she had on fake eyelashes, but it looked real because of how thin it was.

"Caramel frap, thanks." I replied simply. Jongin and I would always share caramel fraps, together.

"Coming right up," the waitress replied as she went to get my drink. I nodded at her as politely as I could before going back to looking out of the window. I felt like I was in some sort of movie, or some sort of fantasy. But in my fantasy, I never got my happy-ending. What kind of fantasy is this?! 

I then remembered the words that my grandmother used to tell me, "Some stories may not have happy-endings, but in the end, you're taught a valuable lesson." 

Suddenly, it hit me.

Grandma. Beijing. That's where I'm going! I'm going to Beijing!

I felt this weird rush of relief shoot through my veins as it hit me, it was the perfect place to go to. It wasn't too far, but wasn't too close. I knew that my parents would definitely let me go to Beijing, and I didn't even need to tell them the real reason why I wanted to go. I could just lie and tell them that I missed my grandma and grandpa, although, I'm not actually lying, I really do miss them. 

I quickly slipped out my phone and turned it on, getting more anxious and anxious as the seconds went by. When my screen lit up, the picture of Jongin, Kyungsoo, and I immediately popped up as well. The excitement to flee out of Seoul just left me as I looked at the picture. Do I really want to do this? 

*

I decided to skip school for the day. It was Tuesday, and next week we would have our Spring Break, anyway. I'm pretty sure that missing the rest of the week early wouldn't be a big problem for me. I could make up all of the work easily, final exams were over, and I could just tell them that I went out to vacation earlier than expected.

It was around 10am, and I had already gotten over 20 text messages from Kyungsoo. All of the text messages would end with, "you better reply right now, or else I'm never going to talk to you ever again. I mean it." 

I just ignored it as I packed my bags. I knew that Kyungsoo would never be able to ignore me, as cocky as that sounded, we were best friends, we were siblings. He wouldn't dare to ignore me.

I had already called my parents and explained everything to them, telling them that I wanted to go to Beijing to see my grandparents. At first, they didn't agree to it, but it took nearly ten minutes of begging and whining to finally get them to say yes. They even offered to book the plane tickets and pay. I felt pretty weird begging and whining like a dog to my parents, but it was the only way. I can't just stay in Seoul and let myself become vulnerable all over again, not this time. 

I looked at my two fully packed luggages and smiled to myself, although, my heart was frowning. I don't know if I should do this. Regret, regret, regret. It was all that I felt. Kyungsoo's going to kill me. 

I promised myself that I wouldn't reply to Kyungsoo until I got to Beijing. If I replied to him while I was still in Seoul, he would probably just manipulate my mind and force me to stay in Seoul. I knew that there was no in the hell way that Kyungsoo would let me leave Seoul without him, especially without any good reasoning. 

Once I got to Beijing, he wouldn't be able to stop me. Which would be good, because that's what I needed. I needed him to give me personal space, and I needed to let my mind drift off and forget about things. My goal was to come back two weeks later and finally let go of Jongin for good. It's for Hye Ri's sake. It's for fate. 

I wasn't sure if two weeks was enough to get over Jongin completely, but I was willing to do anything at the moment. I just wanted to get it over with, I just want him to be happy. 

I jumped onto my bed and laid on my side, only to see the picture of Jongin and I on my nightstand. I felt myself tearing up slowly as I just stared blankly at the picture. Why do I like him so much? Why can't I just be his best friend, nothing more, nothing less? Why do I have to be so helplessly in love with him? I didn't even know who I was anymore, to be honest. I just felt like I was some girl, some girl that was trying to find her way out of love.

*

"Be safe," my mom said as I was just about to step out of the door.

"Don't talk to strangers," she continued on.

"Cover up," 

"And always have your phone with you." she finally finished.

"Check, check, check, and check." I smiled before I pulled her in for a hug. 

It was Thursday night, and I had stayed over at my parents' because my dad wanted to drive me to the airport. Apparently, he wanted to "discuss" things with me, alone. I didn't exactly know what he was going to discuss with me, since my dad and I hardly ever talked. We were close, but we weren't close eno