“Breathe, Suho,” Suho whispered to himself as he inched closer to the door. “Deep breaths.”

Just as he took another step forward, there was a loud knock on the other side of the door.

The sound of an angry dragon’s talons.

Suho jumped a foot in the air before managing to settle himself down.

“Suho?” Kris’s deep voice boomed. “I know you’re in there; I can sense the weakness.”

Suho opened the door quickly before leaping back as Exo-M appeared.

“Hi hyung~!” Luhan chimed happily, a stark contrast to the infamous face beside him.

“Hi everybody!” he greeted in a weak attempt to sound cheerful. “How was your flight?”

“We flew on Kris,” Xiumin answered playfully, hoisting Luhan’s giant suitcase into the apartment.

“Don’t talk like that. The only one allowed to ride Kris is Tao,” Chen teased, nudging the blushing maknae.

Kris turned to face them, and without a single word of reproach, they all fell silent.

“Sorry, Kris,” echoed around the room from each of their mouths.  

Kris turned back to face Suho with a quirked eyebrow. “That’s how it’s done.”

He stepped into the dorm, members following behind like ducklings behind their mother.

“Luhannie~!”

“Sehunnie~!”

Suho peered into the room just in time to catch the reunion of the two lovers. He felt bad for staring so hard, but he really was confused as to how they managed to kiss so fiercely without biting each other.

“Rooming assignments,” Kris announced, suddenly silencing the entire group of reuniting members. Sehun and Luhan’s lips broke apart with a wet pop. “Leader and maknae with leader and maknae. Luhan with Baekhyun and Chanyeol. Chen and Minseok, Kyungsoo and Kai. Lay, couch. Done. Disperse.”

There was a slight pause as Exo-M members questioned the locations of their new room, then everyone did as they were told. Chanyeol had to peel Luhan off of Sehun again once he noticed Kris glaring at them.

“Let’s go, Luhan,” he whispered, tugging at the devastated deer’s shirt. “Come on.”

Luhan whimpered a little before trailing behind Chanyeol into their room.

“Our room is over here,” Suho told Kris, clutching the handles of the Exo-M duizhang’s designer suitcase. “We have the best view!”
 

“Oh, oppa!”

Suho stared wide-eyed at the ceiling as Tao’s screeching echoed through the room.

“That’s right, , call me that again.” The sound of a dull smack -Suho could probably guess that it was Kris’s hand against Tao’s - came soon after a particularly shrill squeal.

Suho clutched his blankets tightly to his chest. “This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening,” he whispered to himself.

“Ugh, oppa!”

“That’s right, I’m your oppa.”

He wondered briefly if he should pipe up and correct their Korean, then realized that they probably knew, and it was just Kris’s or something. He wrinkled his nose.

“Oh, oppa~!”

Suho snatched up his blanket and pillow, then snuck quietly out of the room. There was only so much he could take. He trudged into the living room and flopped onto the couch, letting his tired body go limp.

“Um...Suho? Your ’s kind of on my face,” a muffled voice called.

“Oh,” Suho grumbled, realizing why his lovely couch had a voice. “Yixing, sorry.”

“It’s okay, Suho!” Yixing sang, rolling to the side so that Suho would have a place on the spacious couch as well. “We can share!”

Suho let out a sigh.

“You sound tired, Suho,” Yixing noted with a sympathetic pout. “Talk to me.”

“I just-” Suho sighed. “I’m tired of it, Yixing. These boys are so stressful and they never listen to me when I-”

Suho was interrupted by the sound of a light snore.

Awesome.  
 

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