“Listen!” Kai sung along to the blaring laptop, dancing a little as he slathered his sandwich in condiments. “Enjoy the mayo!”

“Thank you, Luhan. I will enjoy my mayo.” He glanced over at the computer screen as he watched the bouncy Chinese ulzzang strut his bouncy Chinese ulzzang stuff all over the music video set. “I’d like to enjoy your mayo, baby.”

“Ahem.” Kai turned to find a very irritated Sehun clutching a gym bag and dripping sweat onto the ground.

“Oh, Sehun-ah,” Kai greeted. “I’m just playing. This is the only mayo I’m interested in,” he explained, holding out the tub of white gloop.

He tilted his head to the side as he looked at it again. “I wonder what it would be like to stick my in here.”

“Don’t eat the mayo,” Sehun called down the hallway to no one in particular.

“Why?” Suho asked, appearing in his doorway. “Is it expired?”

Sehun glared at Kai through slitted eyes. “It’s...gone bad, that’s for sure.”

Suho nodded, pursing his lips. “Team meeting in the living room.”

“Now?” an out of breath Baekhyun panted. “We’re kind of- AH, CHANYEOL, DO THAT AGAIN! RIGHT THERE!”

Suho’s eyes widened.

“. What did I tell you?” Kai smirked, waving the mayo-covered knife in the air. A dollop landed on the counter. Kai leaned over to it off. “I picked that y little trick up from Dolly.”

“Who’s Dolly?” Suho asked loudly to drown out the sound of Baekhyun’s .

“My favorite stripper. out to here,” Kai moved his arms out ridiculously far from his bare torso and did a little jiggle. Suho rolled his eyes. Again.

“Team meeting in five, living room,” Suho shouted.

“Make it ten,” Chanyeol yelled back.

“Ooh, confident, aren’t we?” Kai commented. “Wouldn’t be surprised. Chanyeol just has that ‘I’m a god’ look to him.”

“Thank you!” Chanyeol called back, almost drowned out by the sound of a dying cat. Or maybe it was Baekhyun ing. There wasn’t really much of a difference.

“You earned it, baby!” Kai shouted back. “y bastard,” he added under his breath.

Suho took a seat on the couch and pumped the volume up as high as it would go.

“Our neighbors must hate us,” he mused to himself.

“Hyung, please turn it down! Luhan has a headache from practice,” Sehun whined, pouting his lips out and blinking. He even wriggled his shoulders just for good measure.

“Did you just do aegyo? Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, hyung, but Luhannie has a headache!”

“He’s in China, why does it matter?”

Sehun spun his laptop around on his lap gleefully, revealing a Skype conversation with Luhan’s face blown up across the entire screen.

“Do you guys have cyber on there?” Kai asked, tongue darting between his slightly parted lips to touch his mayo-knife.

“Sometimes,” Luhan answered with a deceivingly innocent flutter of his long eyelashes.

“Kai, how much mayo are you going to put on your sandwich?” Suho asked, noting that Kai had been slathering the condiments onto his bread for well over five minutes now.

“Enjoy the mayo, Kai!” Luhan shouted playfully. And ignorantly. Oh so blissfully ignorant, Luhan was. If he just knew what Kai had said a few minutes ago...

“Thanks, Luhan. You, too. You enjoy the mayo.”

Luhan giggled, a light trill as cheery as wind chimes dancing in the summer breeze. “I do enjoy mayo, don’t I, Sehun?”

The maknae blushed and squirmed in his seat.

“He does eat a lot of vegetables. His mayo must be sweet,” Kai mused, pressing the knife against his lips pensively. His tongue darted out to away the spot left behind.

“Like icing,” the Chinese member confirmed casually, as if though he weren’t talking about a minor’s spunk in front of everyone.

Suho cradled his head in his hands as he tried to tune them out.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun chose that moment to stumble out of their room, hair mussed with the stench of and sweat.

And...whipped cream? What? Ew.

Suho wrinkled his nose at the two.

“Speaking of mayo,” Kai teased, reaching out from behind the counter to swipe a glob of white off Chanyeol’s .

“Okay, quick team meeting...plus Luhan.”

“Hi~!” the Chinese guest shouted.

“Kyungsoo!”

“Neh?” Kyungsoo popped out of his room, then pranced into the living room, plopping down on the couch beside Suho.

“Kai, get over here.”

“My sandwich is almost done.”

“Kai.”

“In a minute.”

“Kai.”

“Suho.”

“Fine, at least listen in.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You guys, awards season is closing in. We need to be in tip-top shape if we’re going to go against the other rookies. I believe in you guys, though. We can do this.”

Everybody nodded along.

“Here are everybody’s schedules for the next week, don’t lose them. Kai, come get yours.” Suho held out the sheet of paper. All hell broke loose as Kai stepped out from behind the counter.

“AH!”

“OH MY GOD!”

“!”

“Kai!” Suho snapped. “What did I tell you about wearing pants in the house?”

Kai shrugged, taking a bite of his mayo-slathered bread (not a sandwich, apparently. Just...mayo on bread...). “Ran out of underwear. Can’t wear pants without underwear, not good for my junk.”

“Someone go get Kai some underwear,” Suho sighed, rubbing his temples.

“No go, mister. Kai’s junk don’t touch nothing but classic-cut snow white Drifa boxer briefs, fresh from the hands of the y Icelandic maiden who stitched them herself.”

“Go get some underwear for yourself, then.”

“The Kai’s a little short on moolah. Dolly ain’t no cheap hoe.” Kai smirked to himself. “I could really use me some Dolly right about now. Mmm, girl. Dolly finneeeee.”

“I’ll get them for you myself as long as you wear them,” Suho snapped.

“A hundo fifty a pack, man.”

Suho’s eyes widened. “You pay a hundred and fifty dollars for a pack of underwear?”

Kai winked gleefully. “Kai’s buns know nothing but luxury.” He shook his a little in Suho’s face just for good measure. You know, just in case Suho wasn't aware of where his was.

Heyyyy~! Thank you to everyone who has subscribed and commented to this story~! And thank you to sugenlover12 and GhostofaGirl for upvoting! Hope you enjoyed the update. Let me know what you think~!