“Please, Suho?”

“No.”

“Suho, pleaaase!”

“No.”

“Hyuuuuung, saranghae!”

“No.” Suho places a hand on Chanyeol’s face and shoves lightly, slightly grossed out by the terrible display of aegyo.

“I’ll feed it myself, I swear!”

“No.”

“Hyuuuuung, they’re so cute.”

“Still no. Why do you even want an alpaca, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol points a finger at Kris as the tower of evil entered the room, clutching his beloved stuffed alpaca in one hand and his tall, thin, and dark wushu panda with the other. Tao was almost purring as he rested his head on Kris’s shoulder, and they walked together down the hallway with synchronized steps. Suho ignores the suddenly cold atmosphere of the room and looks back to Chanyeol.

“Kris has an alpaca,” Chanyeol states simply.

“You can’t have an alpaca.”

That night, as he prepares to crawl onto the couch he shares with Yixing and hunt for refuge in the realm of sleep, Suho hears a strange noise.

“I tried to follow your orders, I really did!”

…

“I did! I begged and pleaded, but he’s heartless!”
…

“No, anything but that. I tried! Please!”
…

“No, please! Please! Have mercy!”

…

“Ace, please! I’m too young to die!”

Suho sighed and dragged himself to his feet, cramming them unceremoniously into the fluffy slippers he had bought to protect his delicate toes after accidentally stepping on one of Kai’s Lego pieces the day before. As he rounded the corner and found himself staring at a dimly lit Chanyeol curled up on the floor of the kitchen, he sighed again. He reached over and plucked the stuffed alpaca out of Chanyeol’s grip, then padded back into the hallway to toss it into the room that was once his, leaving behind a very distraught Chinese leader.

“You’re an idiot,” Suho hissed as he poked his head through the kitchen doorway one last time. He huffed and moved back to the living room to get his sleep.

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