Suho ran a hand through his hair in the hopes of soothing his pounding headache as he exited Baekhyun’s room.

The vocalist had woken up just in time to find himself buck in Suho’s arms and panicked. Kyungsoo and Kai had been laughing too hard to stand up straight, let alone help their poor leader out.

Suho had finally managed to get all the members into their rooms before curling up in his bed and regretting some of his recent life choices.

“Hyung...” he heard a timid voice whimper. “Hyung...”

“What?” he snapped irritably.

“I had a nightmare.” Chanyeol’s face appeared at the edge of the bed as he flicked the lamp on. The genuine fear and innocence in his eyes tugged at Suho’s heartstrings. As Chanyeol began pouting, Suho sighed and scooted over to make room for the friendly giant. “Thank you, hyung!”

“Just sleep,” Suho instructed.

And Chanyeol did. Soon after, Suho managed to drift off, too.

Not more than two hours later, he was met with a loud slap to the face.

“Chanyeol, what the fu-”

“Don’t touch me, devil spawn!” Chanyeol shouted startlingly clearly, eyes still shut. “You can’t have my soul!”

The rapper flailed in bed, knocking Suho to the ground. Suho grumbled under his breath as he attempted to nudge Chanyeol over. His entire bed had been commandeered by a mess of ridiculously long outstretched limbs and at least a dozen stuffed animals. Suho swatted a smiling polar bear onto the floor in a fit of anger. He got off the floor and snatched a pillow from under Chanyeol’s arm, trudging into the living room. He tossed his pillow onto the couch.

A cup of tea was exactly what he needed to soothe that headache, he decided. He moved into the kitchen quietly so as not to wake any of the monsters members.


“Suho-hyung?” he heard a voice called out as he was pulling a mug out of the cupboard. He let his forehead drop against the cool marble countertop. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

“Yeah, Sehun?”

“Can I have coffee?”

“No, go to sleep.”

“But I just woke up, hyung,” Sehun replied confusedly. Suho raised an eyebrow in disbelief before he caught a glimpse of the clock.

“It’s already six?”

Sehun nodded. “Kyungsoo will come make breakfast as soon as he finishes showering.”

Right on time, Kyungsoo emerged from the hallway. “Hi, hyung!” he greeted cheerily, rubbing a towel into his hair.

Sehun wandered away as Suho returned Kyungsoo’s greeting.

“Eggs?” Kyungsoo chirped.

“No, I’ll just have yogurt. I’ll make the coffee, then, I guess, since Sehun asked. How does he like it?” (A/N: if you know what I mean)

“The Colombian coffee is his. Just put it in the machine and add hot water, it’ll take fifteen minutes.”

Suho nodded, setting a coffee filter on the counter.

“Then pour it out and back into the machine.”

Suho cocked his head at that, but nodded again.

“And then add seventeen packets of sugar.”

“SEVENTEEN PACKETS OF-” Suho screeched in disbelief.

“And also ten French Vanilla creamers. But he only likes the kind with the labels that are blue, not the white.”

“Oh...um, okay? I guess I can do that.”

Suho set the filter inside the machine and spooned in the ground coffee beans from the fancy glass jar, then filled a cup with tap water.

“No! Hyung, you have to use the mineral water.”

He sighed, but obliged, cracking open a bottle of Fiji water and emptying it into the machine. He drummed his fingers as he waited, tapping out the beat to Mama as he hummed the lyrics to himself.

Kai jumped into the kitchen and launched straight into the choreography, adding his own hip s in.

“Um, Kai?” Suho mumbled, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“Yeah?” Kai grunted, dancing despite the lack of music.

“Do you think maybe you could put some pants on before you dance around other people? Or at least some...underwear...”

“But hyung, I feel so...so...” Kai stopped to do a mini-pirouette. “Free!”

“Kai, go put some damned pants on,” Suho snapped, shielding his eyes from Kai’s morning wood as he danced around shamelessly.

“Fine,” Kai pouted, disappearing down the hallway.

“Does he really sleep in the ?” Suho asked Kyungsoo once Kai was out of earshot.

Kyungsoo shrugged, prodding the eggs in the pan with a chopstick.

“Suho-hyung,” he heard a familiar deep voice whine. “I can’t find Baekhyun again.”

“Check the closets,” Suho instructed.

“I checked the closets!”

“Check under the beds!”

“I checked under the beds!”

“Check the bathroom!”

“I checked under the bathrooms!”

"Check inside the bathroom, !"

"I checked inside the bathroom!"

“Dammit Chanyeol, just go look for him!”

“BAEKHYUN! BAEKHYUN! WHERE ARE YOU?”

His deep rumble practically made the walls shake. Suho groaned, nursing a cup of tea as he fought the urge to run to SM and demand that they find a different er to care for these nitwits.

As he had just finished tearing open the last packet of sugar (“Sehun only likes the sugar packets. He says the sugar from the big bags doesn’t melt right,” Kyungsoo had insisted), relishing in the rare moment of silence that took hold of the dorm, chaos broke loose again.

“DAMMIT, CHANYEOL! THAT WAS MY EYE!”

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun! I’m sorry! No, what are you doing? Put that down! Oh my God! , , ! SUHO-HYUNG, HELP ME!”

“Language, Chanyeol,” Suho sighed quietly to himself, stirring the troublesome cup of coffee.

“SUHO-HYUNG!”

Suho added the creamer in, one by one. “Sehun, your coffee’s ready!”

Suho set the cup on the counter before leaving to save Chanyeol.

Hello~! I hope you all enjoyed the new update! Thank you to everyone who subscribed, commented, and read this story~!