published on 12/1/13 

+start+

Your POV 

You opened your eyes slowly and realized it was still dark. You took out your phone to check the time. The light from your phone screen made you squint your eyes as the room was dark. 5.08a.m. You couldn't go back to sleep, instead you just laid there on the bed, staring at the ceiling with thoughts running through your mind.

"I lost it. I .. lost it." You thought to yourself. Echoes in your head telling you that you lost that one last thing that she left behind for you. It's not with you anymore. The only thing you carried with you all this while and now it's gone. But maybe it's also a sign. They say everything happens for a reason right? Maybe this was one of it.

A reason to finally let go.

Not let go of her fully, but let go of her and keep a piece of her in your heart. To.. start off fresh? You closed your eyes slowly and ..

You appear at your own home again. By the balcony where you usually star gaze with your mother. You held onto the railings, like it was real. Looking up at the sky, there were stars covering the night sky. Just then you hear "Hae Ra.." from a distance. That sounds like..You turned around and see your mother standing by the balcony door. You ran to her and hugged her,tight.

Feeling her warm presence near you with her arms wrapped around you. "Omma.." you murmured as you buried your face on her chest. She your hair while patting your back with the other hand. She broke the hug and placed her hands on your shoulders.

"Hae Ra, listen to me , carefully."

You nodded your head and she pulled you back in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around her waist as she spoke.

"There will be times,where you need me. There will be times, where, a pretty and independent girl like you, need someone in your life through the thick and thin. Look at the people around you, in their eyes, if you see sincerity in them, grab that opportunity to make them a part of your life."

"But omma-"

"Listen to me, Hae Ra. I can no longer be with you through every step of the way now. I wish I could, I really do, but I can't. Like I told you-

"Everything happens for a reason"-The two of you said in unison.

"That's right, my bright angel. I know that you're cold, so cold from all the pain. Probably your heart is wrapped with barb wire and maybe even a brick wall surrounding your heart. Is that what you're feeling right now?"

You nodded your head slowly and she gave you a light tap on your head.

"With me, you're so loving, so open and caring. Why can't you be like that with the people around you? If they met the exact same girl 4 years ago , they'd be-"

You broke the hug and stared into her, brown round eyes. With that sparkle in her eyes that you could easily get lost in them.

"Because they're not you. In the end of the day, you would never leave me and never hurt me. I don't know if they would do the same like you."

"Did you give them a chance, Hae Ra?"

You gazed down to the ground realizing, that she had made her point.Slowly she pulled you in once again, but you didn't respond to the hug.

"I can't tell you what's right, and what's wrong. You're smart enough to know better. But I will tell you, it's time you finally open up to those who are willing to grab your heart and cherish it with two hands that God gave to them."

She broke the hug and cupped your cheeks. "You are worth so much. Someone will notice how much you're worth, and love you with all they have, just give them a chance".

"I will" you murmured as you opened your eyes. It was all just a dream, but it had an effect on you. You looked around and realized Jiyeon was sitting up on her bed just staring at you. She opened to speak but you raised your hand, making her keep quiet and closing . You stood up and walked towards her bed, to sit on her bed. You made an audible gulp as you looked down on the bed sheets. You sat on the end of her bed, with your legs crossed, opposite her as she sat up with her legs crossed just an arm's length away from you. You were playing with your fingers when slowly you lifted your hand, gesturing Jiyeon to place her hand on top of yours for you to hold. She was confused but she placed her hand on top of yours and you held it. Slowly you grip her hand and she did the same. A smile formed upon her face when you let out a soft smile. You looked at her hand, and took a deep breath as you could feel she was waiting for you to speak.

"I don't.. I..I've been through. So much. So much that I don't know where to begin telling you. I AM cold hearted. And I can never bring myself to try to be nice to people. People, call me anti-social but the truth is I just sometimes prefer to be alone. By sometimes, it's usually all the time. And I realize that I'm pushing away people that truly, would care..for me. I didn't mean to come off in a harsh or cold way, but that's just the way I come off to some people. Yet again, by some, I mean all people. I don't know how I can, go up to someone, flash a smile and just instantly make them my bestfriend. Like you, I understand it's hard trying to connect to other people or getting attached to them because of the fear of being left behind.. again and again so many times that you stopped keeping track. I really don't know how to open up my heart, but I guess this is the first ste-" your voice trailed off as she pulled you in for a hug. You didn't respond to the hug as, you were.. shocked. She broke the hug and stared into your eyes. "I understand completely. This is going to be a start of a great friendship, Hae Ra." she said as she flashed a smile and pulled you back in for a hug.

After a long talk with Jiyeon, just a first, geniune girl talk with her, the two of you got ready to go to class. Her class ends at the same time as yours today so the two of you could go to for dinner together. She agreed meeting you at some restaurant a little off-side of the campus. She left for her class earlier while you were still in your room reading some assignment sheets to memorize the format for the quiz later on this week. Just then there was a knock on the door. You got up and walked towards the door and opened it.

"I-I'm sorry."

You analysed the guy's face when slowly the guy lifted his head up and it was HyunMin. You crossed your arms in front of your chest and leaned on the wall, blocking the way into your dorm. He rubbed the back of his neck, nervously since his hands were shaking.

"I didn't know what made me said those words to you. And I apologize if it made you felt hurt in any kind of wa-" His voice trailled off the moment you said, "It's alright." His head shot up and his eyes widened. "W-what?" You