If you’re just going to be pity on me. Forget it. I’m not falling for your trap.

***

I’ve been waiting. For so long. My hurt. So do my heart. Again. Waiting for him. Not worth it. Stupid me. How can I fall for his trap again. I know he won’t be looking for me. It’s just me. Hoping. For something won’t happen. Huh ! Sighing. That’s the only thing. Able to do. Right now. Just. Sighing.

            Stand up. Sigh. Again. I left. For the very many times I’ve done this. Once again. I did the same thing. I smile to myself. What a stupid me. I know he wouldn’t come. Pity on Yooyoo. She had done many things for me. But her effort. Useless. It’s just useless.

Someone pull my hand. I stop. Wide. My eyes. Grew wide. “ I’m sorry Naeun. For hundred times, I’m sorry,” said. I look back. He came ! Looking for me. He came ! Yooyoo’s effort are not useless. No. It’s not useless. It’s not !

            I let out a deep breath. “ Enough. I forgave you,” I pull my hand. And go. Left him. By himself. I smile again. To myself.

^^

Another boring day. Have to attend classes. Bunch of assignment. I’m sick of it. I wish I’m finishing this semester early. But it’s just a wish. A wish. That won’t happen. Never. Took my books. Files. Walk out of the room. Without grabbing any breakfast. Just went. To the college.

             Eyes got sleepy. Once the class over. It’s brighten up again. Walking alone. Down the stairs. I bump into someone. Lee Sungyeol. “ Sorry,” I apologize. Picking up my things. He stand in front of me. Just stand. Without saying anything.

             I look up. At him. He look down. At me. “ What ? “ I ask. He smile.

             “ Stand up,” he said. I stand. Finish picking up things. “ Smile Hong Yookyung. I haven’t seen that smile of yours for a long time,” he said. I look down.

             “ Why do I have to smile ? “ I ask. Stupid. Stupid question.

             “ Because your smile is so pretty. It’s a pity when you don’t show to everyone,” he said. Why ? He’s being so care to me. Never like this. Before.

            “ No one would want to see me smiling. Why do you even care when I don’t smile ? “ I ask again.

            “ Someone else don’t want. I want,” he said. I sigh.

            “ Why do you care about me ? Probably, Naeun ? You’re scared to ask me about her when I don’t smile ? “ I ask again. Although I’ve clear with the answer. He pull my hand. To the park. What are we doing here ?

            “ I broke up with Taeyeon to be with her. When I care about her, I will care about you too. Because you’re her friend,” he said. And let go of my hand. My heart. It’s hurt.

             I clear my throat.” Everyday, I woke up. To see whether I can smile or not,” I said. “ I look at myself. On the mirror. I smile. Yes. I’m smiling. But my heart. They don’t smile. It’s hurt me. So much. I felt like crying. But would anyone care ? You care about Naeun so you’d care about me. But, would you care about me more than you did for Naeun ? So, I’m just a friend of Naeun. You don’t have to care about me,” I left.

             “ Yookyung-ah !”

He yell. My name. I ignore. And just left.

He care about Naeun. Naeun. She is my friend. My childhood friend. However, I’m not mad. At least, it’s Naeun. Someone I know. Someone I can trust.

^^

Finished classes. On my way to the café. I see someone. Handsome. Looking something or maybe someone. I approach him. “ Excuse me,” greet to someone I don’t even know who or even his name. He look at me.

            “ Are you lost ? “ I ask. He smile. And nods. “ What are you looking for ? “ ask again.

            “ I’m looking for my class. I just transferred here. So, I’m not familiar,” he said. Answering my question.

            “ Which class ? “ I ask.

            “ This,” he showed me his time table. “ It should be starting soon, so I better look now or I’ll be late for class,” he said. Smiling. Looking so idiot.

            “ This is my class after this. It’s 30 minutes more. Eat with me first. We’ll go to the class together,” I offered. He smile and nods. We walk to the café.

Arriving at the café. I saw Myungsoo. With her. His crush. Ah~ He already make a move. Now he even eat with her. Laugh together. Stupid. I look for a place. Far from him.

            “ Should we sit here ? “ I ask him. The guy I just know.

            “ Yeah sure,” he said. Smiling. He’s so quixotic. With his smile.

            “ I’m buying the food. Would you like anything ? “ I ask. Leaving my bag on the chair. With him. He shook.

            “ No thanks,”

Finish buying food. I sit again. At my place. “ So, what’s your name ? “ I ask him. While eating. He look at me.

            “ Me ? “ He ask. I nods. “ Howon. Lee Howon. But, you can call me Hoya,” he said. I nods. Not so pretty name.

            “ Pretty name,” but I lied. Yoohoo ~

            “ Thank you,” he thanked.

            “ But what’s with Hoya ? “ I ask.

            “ Just a name that everyone call. I don’t know. Just go with the flow,” he said. Playing with his DSLR.

            “ Oh,”

            “ Come. I’ll take your picture,” he offered. I put down my spoon and fork. And cheese ! “ Wow, pretty ! “ he praise.

            “ Not so pretty that I lose to someone ugly,” I said. He chuckled.

“ Naeun-ah,”

I look back. Although I recognize this voice. “ Oh Kim Myungsoo,” his face is serious.

            “ Your friend ? “ he ask. I nods. “ I never saw him before,”

            “ It’s my first time see her too,” I said. Continue eating.

            “ Her. Who ? “ he ask.

            “ That girl with you. Eating. Is that she ? Jung Eunji girl ? “ I ask. Without looking at him. He sigh.

            “ You know about her. I didn’t know about this guy. And this is my first time seeing him,” he said. Seriously. Sound seriously.

            “ So ? He’s my classmates,” I said. Hoya. Looking at us. Quarrelling.

            “ Okay fine. I’ll send you back today. Wait for me,” he said. Was about to leave.

            “ I’m going back with him. I promise. Right ? “ I look at Hoya. In front of me. He nods slowly. Myungsoo sigh. Again. Heavily.

            “ Alright. Keep her safe,” he said. And go.

Keep me safe your .