Do I know you?

***

            It’s been a week since Myungsoo was admitted to the hospital that I see dear husband face. I mean, yeah. Sungyeol’s face. I don’t know where the hell is he. Everyone is asking. I can’t. I don’t have the answer. I don’t even know. Where he went. Yeah, he’s disappearing. Without a reason.

            “Yoo-ah, are you okay?” a whisper, break through my ears. I look at the weak guy a week ago, lying in front of me. And I smile.

            “I’m fine. Why?” asked him.

            “You don’t look fine. At least to me. You look dull. Is there anything happened without me knowing? Is it your husband? Again?” he kept pushing me with questions.

            “So, you do know,” I said. A smile crept on my face. Cynical smile.

            “Of course. It’s not the first day I’ve lived this pitiful life with you,” he said, smirking. I glance at him. I hit his stomach. He groan, painfully. I guess I hit too hard. Mian, chingu.

            “Where is this ? I can’t stand taking care of another who’ll just annoys me,” I said, standing up. Myungsoo smile. He hold my hand.

            “Mian. Naeun’s busy today. Please take care of this . I won’t annoy you anymore,” sounds like begging, but I don’t think he did. Just to propitiate.

            “You do need me,” I mumbled.

            “I do and you, cursing sounds good. I like,” he said. Closing his eyes and trying to sleep. Oh yeah. I know. He won’t annoy me. Yeah right.

^^

            I walk home from the bus stop near my house. I don’t bother Sunggyu oppa to pick me up because I know he’s still on duty. I won’t troubled him. Well, I still can walk. So, why troubling other people. Right?

            It’s only 100 metres away from the place I stand and my house. But then, I saw a car in front of the gate. A black car. Whose car is that? I never see Sunggyu oppa with a black car, I think. Well, even if it’s his, why do he park outside? I walk closer. But only closer to the car. I don’t have the intention to peek inside the car, or even bother to know what the car’s doing in front of my house.

            “Lee Yookyung-shi,” someone called. Wait. Did that ‘someone’ just called me with a surname ‘Lee’? Whose Yookyung with the surname ‘Lee’ in this neighborhood?

            I turn around. A familiar guy, standing in front of me.

            “Can we talk?” the guy said.

            “You’ve been missing for a week. And suddenly appeared, just to talk? To me? I don’t have so much time for that. Let’s just find another time,” I said.

            “I don’t have that another time. Just come and follow me,” he said, pulling my hand inside the car. That was harsh. And I hate it. Seriously.

            He drove the car to the furthest park in this town. I can’t tell which park is this, the one he bring me to. But, I do know that there’s no one here. What? Is this an abandon park? It’s getting late at night. And what’s with the no one’s around park?

            “Where is this?” I asked. He kept in silence.

            “Lee Sungyeol-shi, I am very sure you’re not deaf yet,” I said. He still keep in silence. I know I don’t have to scream and I think I don’t need to. But, isn’t he being rude right now? Hello mister, I’m asking over here.

            “I’m not. I’m leaving you here. Get back home yourself,” he said and walk slowly to his car. I’m not stupid, but I feel like one right now.

            “What is this all about? What do you mean by leaving me here? Where the hell is this? Where are you going, motherer?!” I shouted at the very end of my question. He turn back. He do look shock. Maybe, it’s because of the curse.

            “What did you just call me?” he asked.

            “Motherer,” I said.

            “You’re so wanna die, huh?” he said, with anger. He pump his fist. I crept a smile on my face. A cynical smile.

            “I think so. Why don’t you end my life right now? Because I can’t stand being tortured by a lousy husband who only care about himself and his wife’s bestfriend. Can you think what I feel? It’s hurt. Deep inside. Sungyeol-shi, you’ve hurt me enough. I’ve suffered from you enough. It’s all enough. We’re over. How I dream to say that to you each time you hold Naeun’s hand for her to be able to walk. Each time you only care about her and not me. I really wanted to say that,” I told him.

            I don’t want to cry as much as I can’t cry right now. Because I don’t want to be the weak Yookyung in front of the strong Sungyeol. Because, that way. I’m lose. I’m going to lose. I will lose. And I hate for that to happen.

            “You’ve said it,” he said.

            “Yeah. You’re right. I’ve said it,” I said.

            “Do you love me?” he ask. I nods. “Since when?” he ask again.

            “Since earlier. Since we’re getting married. Since you hate me. Since then,” a multiple answer from me for his question.

            “Y..you….” he stutter.

            “Go back. I’ll be going back home right now. You said to go back home by myself if I’m not mistaken. So, I’m going back. So, yeah. Bye,” I made a farewell.

            I walk step by step slowly. Leaving this so call husband behind, alone. I smile throughout my walk towards the road. Where no one’s around. I walk alone into the darkness. Finally, the tears that I held fall. Yes tears. Fall. Fall as much as you can. I’ve been keeping you for a long time. And now it’s time for me to let you go.