Jiyong didn't talk about it, but I think he was having a hard time. We started working on our third mini album in May. Another love-sick title track resulted from it, Haru Haru. He was probably having a romance with a beautiful girl somewhere while I was away from him for Sonagi and my MC hosting on Music Core with Daesung.

It would surely explain why he seemed different. Maybe he had just gotten through a break up, and here I was warning him that he was being too possessive. He didn't touch me or tease me as much. I didn't know. It seemed ironic that there would be distance between us just as I was starting to accept him.

Or maybe it wasn't because of me or a girl. He started working more with the producers and we certainly kept ourselves busy with music. Stand Up came out in August, Number 1 in Japan released in October, Remember was out by November, and in between all that we continued concert tours, tv appearances, hosting, and acting. Maybe he was just exhausted.

-------------------------

"You're ready, Seungriyah."

"Eh?"

It was the beginning of October and Jiyong had me stay in our recording studio at YG with him. It was getting late.

"You're going to get what you want."

He his lips and smiled at me, then pressed a button on the recording control deck and out boomed a club beat from the speakers.

"What is this?"

"Its the intro to your solo track."

I guess I couldn't hide my excitement. I hunched over and hugged him, something I rarely did, and he gently returned the embrace.

"Thank you, hyung. I won't disappoint."

He snickered and released me.

"You better not, maknae. I said you're ready; don't make me a liar."

I nodded and followed any directions he had for me during the recording process. It was done in a rather business-like manner, but every now and then he'd laugh or smile and I'd see the old Jiyong. I think secretly I had hoped that I would be able to help alleviate his melancholy.

Everything became Strong Baby at that point. I started working out more and choreographing. YG wanted it as a title song, but I wouldn't start promoting it until the new year. We filmed the music video at the end of December, so now I was eighteen and trying to project a more mature image of myself to the media.

Jiyong continued to pat my back and tell me I was ready on the days leading up to the solo release. It felt good to have him accept and support me.

But I found something lacking. I wasn't completely grateful. What I wanted was a Jiyong who would give me personal space and treat me in a mature manner. He gave me that, but in the process it didn't feel the same to be around him.

Beneath the new layers of confidence as a man who was no longer a minor, I felt regret.