I was wrong, and Jiyong knew it.

BIGBANG started Japanese promotions in April. I was going to be in Korea for Sonagi.

I had to to break the news to him before the others left for Japan that I wouldn't be there to promote with them, even though I had told Jiyong I would be.

I tried to casually notify Jiyong while he took me out shopping. I had hoped he wouldn't lose his temper out in public, but he did. His favorite stores all around him in the shopping district didn't even cheer him up.

His voice turned cold, like back when I first met him in 2005. His eyes were dark and expressive and his nostrils flared.

"Seungriyah."

He let go of my hand and set down his shopping bags on the cement of the sidewalk.

"How could you?"

"I'm sorry, hyung. I just-"

"You just what? Wanted to do your own thing? Be on your own?"

"Well I really didn't think it would interfere-"

"Don't give me that. You knew it would interfere, but you took the role anyway!"

"Hyung, I-"

"You don't deserve to go solo yet!"

I took a step backwards. I tried to keep a blank face, but I was utterly shocked. Jiyong stared daggers into my eyes, but then something washed over him. He clasped his hands over his mouth and looked down at the ground, silent.

Under his breath, he apologized and told me that he didn't mean it. He reached for my hand.

"I'm not ready to give you away," he whispered.

I didn't want to hold his hand, so I let it slip.

--------------------------

There were a few times that I would be singing and acting on stage and suddenly see a familiar face in the audience. Sometimes it was my parents or my sister and her friends; other times it was Jiyong. He'd find me backstage after the show and critique my performance.

"Your smile doesn't reach your eyes," he'd say as he would eat a piece of fruit off of my plate and stare at my lips. "And control your mouth when you're breathing from your diaphram before you sing. It looks awkward."

"Stop eating my fruit," I whined,"I haven't eaten all day."

He popped a grape into his mouth and shrugged his shoulders.

"Sorry."

I rolled my eyes, getting up from the little picnic table backstage to throw away my paper plate. He called out to me once I turned my back to him.

"Seungriyah."

I turned around. He had a weak smile.

"I've said harsh things to you, and I really do mean it when I say I'm sorry."

"Okay, hyung."

He bit his lower lip.

"I'm still not ready..to be supportive of you working alone."

"I'm not alone, Jiyong. All the theatre staff are friendly to me."

He tugged at the sleeves of his jacket.

"Even so, I still don't like it."

I sighed, sitting down again at the picnic table. I placed myself by his side and pat his back.

"See hyung, that's your problem. Stop being so possessive."

He didn't even object. I guess he knew what he was doing, then.

Jiyong looked a little empty, a little sad, like he was contemplating something or maybe he was having a revelation of sorts. Or maybe it was me. After all, here I was, actually feeling a little concerned for Jiyong. I could handle his temper and his smirks and his sly grins, but I couldn't really understand the blue Jiyong, the melancholic Jiyong.

I think I realized that I actually cared for Jiyong.