After the Japan leg of the YG Family concert tour, we were back in Seoul to take the final preparations for our comeback into full gear. The album was finally ready, and big plans were in the works for promotion.

     The hardest thing to face this time around was the album concept. I had gradually developed a liking to long hair again, hiding beneath it like in my high school days, but the plans for what to do with my image were not in my favor. The noonas shaved most of my head on the last week of January, and I was left a mess, privately crying about the trim like a traumatized teenage girl. Seunghyun called me Spock for two weeks.

     "You'll be okay, maknae," Jiyong would reassure me after Seunghyun would roll out a large set of particularly outrageous hair jokes. "Its just hair, it'll grow out in no time."

He said something along the same lines when he all but dragged me to the tattoo and piercing studio a day after the hair cut.

     The body art studio might have been even more intimidating than Hyun Suk's office. I couldn't decide. Its black walls were covered in an organized assemblage of framed photos of limbs and skin. The tiled floors made a pathway to properly closed-off walls for its customers, each room furnished with a paper-lined bed, a counter sink, cabinets, and a desk full of fresh needles and inks. I was both incredibly excited and afraid to be there. This was Jiyong's kind of place, not mine, but for the sake of hyung's intentions for me and the bad boy concept, I lay down on the crinkled paper bed and offered the right side of my face to a man not that much older than myself with gloved hands and his own sparing of facial piercings, plus an elaborate neck tattoo.

      Jiyong sat in a barstool on my left, hunched over, watching the artist intently with his hawk eyes as he washed his hands and set out a tray of earrings that Jiyong had picked out at an earlier time. After giving me a run-down on how to prevent ear infections and what the piercing procedure would be like, the body artist said nothing more than "it might hurt a bit."

When the first prick invaded my ear cartilage, I felt a wave of heat wash over my cheeks. I didn't realize I was squeezing my eyes shut until I heard a rumble of low chuckles escape from Jiyong.

"Seungriyah, relax!"

     I didn't have any time to, as the second stab was already made, and an odd sensation of a sliding needle or tube connected both holes. A hiss escaped my lips, and then I felt a hard squeeze of my left hand.

"Just one more step, you're okay," Jiyong crooned, his fingers along my knuckles.

    Once again, the sliding sensation was all I could feel, as a sturdier needle struggled its way into replacing the temporary one. The flush of heat invaded me again as another hiss accompanied a groan. My eyes watered and the tears quickly built up beneath my closed eyelids to leak down onto the bridge of my nose.

"Yah, maknae. Its done," Jiyong reassured, giving my hand another squeeze.

     "That hurt," I whined, as I could practically feel Jiyong's entire being shake with laughter.

"Yah! Hyung, I'm serious!"

I opened my eyes then to find Jiyong staring down at me, smiling from ear to ear with the toothiest, most gum-rimmed grin I had ever seen.

"You're such a drama queen," Jiyong teased, still smiling at me. I propped myself up onto my elbows to roll my eyes at him.

     That hurt. Never mind the bleeding ear cartilage, Jiyong's smile was an entirely fresh wound. I was so accustomed to his crooked teeth of the past and how much it annoyed me, that sometimes I forgot just how much things had changed.

I found myself craving that smile now, how odd, and now Jiyong's features were creased in concern, as if to torture me further.

"Oh, its all red," Jiyong observed, eyes flashed with slight panic. "Seungriyah, does it really hurt that bad?"

The body artist took a good look at his work and said the color should fade within the hour. Jiyong huffed and warned we might be back later if he didn't see improvement. The big photo shoot for the album and teasers was set in place on our schedules for the next day, and Jiyong would absolutely not tolerate any imperfections.

     Jiyong instructed me not to think about the pain, but then again, I was a man of over-emphasis, and whining was my specialty. However, an hour had soon passed and the reddening did die down, and not once did I receive a "poor maknae" from any of the hyungs, let alone Jiyong. So I turned quiet, much to everyone's approval, as we traveled around from YG to various film sets and meeting rooms to gather up all the last touches for our comeback promotions.

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     "Good job, Seungriyah," Jiyong calmly complimented me as he gently cleaned my ear with salt water, the both of us hovering over the cluttered bathroom sink at our dorm. Waiting for my response, Jiyong looked around the mess of dirty towels and squeezed-out toothpaste tubes. He had started living with his parents after his crisis in October and had only just recently moved back to the dorm for promotions. No one had been there to fuss about picking up after ourselves, save for Daesung, but it wasn't like he was at the dorm much either.

     It was late, and I was exhausted, wanting nothing more than for Jiyong to finish attending to the piercing. It stung a bit.

"Good job on what?" I asked him.

"On finally shutting up," Jiyong teased, lightly pinching at the tips of my ears. He was grinning at me like a cat, fresh-faced without makeup and dark hair still slightly damp from his shower. There were still patches of water condensation sticking to the mirrors in front of us.

"Hyung!" I whined, swatting at his fingers to leave my ears alone. He complied, chuckling as he pulled away, leaving me to sulk at my reflection.

"It really did hurt, hyung."

"Just wait till you get a tattoo," Jiyong snorted. I rolled my eyes at him.

"But hyung, you like pain. You don't count."

He arched an eyebrow and smirked at me, brown eyes coming to life with amusement.

"You do! I know you do, because you were laughing while I was in pain earlier."

     He seemed to get a kick out of that, appearing as if he could barely contain his laughter, staring down at his hands, fingers still decorated in fake tattoos of "kill fame" etched across his knuckles from an earlier photo shoot.

"Oh, Seungriyah," he sighed, shaking his head. I looked up at him expectantly.

"I think," Jiyong started," laughing at you has become a sort of defense mechanism." He looked up at the ceiling, searching for the right words. "Truthfully, I was worried for you. So worried. You turned so red and you sounded so pitiful."

     He rocked back and forth on his heels, at last lifting his gaze to meet mine into the reflection.

"Maknae is always worrisome, I never really know what you're thinking. So I fear that if I were to show you just how much I worried, it would only make you feel even more stressed or miserable, and I wouldn't even know. So I laugh, hoping it will make you smile."

It had been awhile, I realized, that I had last seen Jiyong seem even the slightest bit nervous.

"And I'm still not sure," he continued," if I should baby you or leave you on your own. Its a control issue," he lightly laughed.

"I'm yours, hyung," I told him simply. He shook his head at me.

"You're Seungri. You like all the women and their attention. You say that now, but you're never going to be all mine."

     I stared blankly at our reflection, swallowing the mess of new hurt lodged in my throat. Or was it simply recognition, the truth? He his lips before speaking again.

"When you say you love me, I want to say that I love you back. But saying that...I've had my heart broken before. Its not the good kind of pain, Seungriyah. Its the worst."

     His eyes wandered down at my wrist then, still wrapped in his bracelet.

"Then just say it softly," I suggested. "For me."

     He smirked, tapping his fingers against his hip.

"You make it sound so easy," he sighed.

"I'm straight-forward. That's all," I replied. He simply nodded, before sighing again.

"Don't expect too much from me, okay? Especially these next few weeks," he warned. "I'm already tired. Please don't make me snap at you."

"Neh, hyung," I agreed.

"Good," Jiyong exhaled, relieved. Had he been holding his breath?

     He offered me one last gentle smile before walking up to me to kiss the bridge of my nose. He promptly backed away before I could react.

"I love you, okay? I love you," he groaned, already sounding frustrated about it.

     I wondered then if I had truly just broken his heart, but it only left me smiling from ear to ear. And then I was clouded with both guilt and extreme pleasure, digging my nails into the metal chains and charms that had dangled from my bracelet.

     Needless to say, I don't think either of us got much sleep before the photo shoot. So I didn't utter a word, merely absorbed with my own personal happiness, and that was okay. For now.

A/N edit: about Ri getting piercing with GD <3 http://oneulttara-oneulttara.tumblr.com/post/18897236607/you-i-recording-seungri-said-he-went-to-pierce-his

video on the process of getting an industrial piercing~ poor Ri ;; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKbkXKFxOA0