Once again back home, promotions were at last over and we were all ecstatic to take a good break and get quality time shut-eye. Not that I ever would grow tired of my hyungs, but some time off from each other would surely do wonders, so off into our own directions we went, more or less.

     I had plans to visit the family and get back into college life as soon as our vacation time would officially start. I even had new clothes out and ready, hanging on the headboard of my bed. Just one more day of May, and we'd be free to leave the dorms as we pleased. Seunghyun was already back at his villa, and Jiyong wasn't far behind with packing to get back into his apartment.

     During promotions, Jiyong would rarely sleep when he needed to, but now that it was basically over, Jiyong was all huffy again about getting his sleep and not being bothered. So of course it wasn't a surprise that he was already asleep in his room at a rather early time in the evening. His door was closed when I was in the kitchen to make dinner for myself. The dorm was quiet without the roar of his music or the scribbles and scrapes of pencil and eraser to paper.

     I couldn't leave the dorm, nor did I really want to. I still had recorded variety shows and dramas to catch up with on the t.v. Or maybe I'd just waste time looking up pointless things on naver with my laptop.

     An hour soon turned into two, and the next thing I knew, my fingers were trembling and I felt the blood drain from my face as I stared at my computer screen. My lips quivered and suddenly I felt like I was trapped in a block of ice. My body didn't want to respond, but I desperately needed to get up from my chair and wake up Jiyong. It was nearing one in the morning.

     It hurt. It physically hurt to enter Jiyong's room to find him so peacefully asleep. I was about to ruin any further hours of rest for him and I just knew it. I was always careful when nudging him awake, but I couldn't control my limbs tonight. I shook a shoulder, as he was on his side, and he jerked awake.

"Hyung. Get up. Check the computer."

     My voice shook. I hated this lack of control. Jiyong immediately knew something was wrong. Without saying anything at all, he got up and took my hand, making me walk with him to my room, where my laptop was.

     The warmth of his hand soon drained to match the coldness of my own. He just stood there without taking a seat, quietly reading the breaking piece of news I had found displayed on the screen. I squeezed his hand, now colder, as he inhaled sharply and dropped my hand and dashed off into his room. Not knowing what else to do, I followed him to find him reaching for his cell phone. He started making calls as I just observed him by his door, dazed.

     When he was done, he threw his phone onto a pillow at the other end of his bed and dug his head into his hands, bent over the edge of his mattress.

"He's being questioned at the police station. He'll come back here when it's done."

     Jiyong's voice seemed controlled, but the wrinkles of worry creased his brow and the tiredness under his eyes only made him look older than his years.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"You know how D is," he sighed.

     I finally decided to close the distance from his door to the bed to sit by him. He didn't say anything, so we both stared at the floor.

"Hyung," I called out softly, averting my gaze from the floor to my palms. "Whatever happens...Let's stay strong."

     I hadn't even realized that a tear had fallen onto my cheek.

"The comments are cruel," I whispered, quietly wiping my wet cheeks. Jiyong lifted his head to look at me then. "They're already calling him a murderer...I don't get it."

     Jiyong's brown eyes were cold and dark, pensive. Pained. They traced over the trail tear that had dried, and then he lifted a hand to rub his thumb over my cheek.

"I don't know what's going to happen to our group. We'll be okay. He'll be okay. Right?" I asked. My voice still couldn't really project any louder than a throaty whisper. Jiyong tried to turn up his lips in a reassuring half-smile, but it just didn't reach his eyes, now tearing like my own.

"I don't know, Seungiyah."

     Slowly, in a daze, he continued to softly rub my cheek. His hands were still cold, so I covered my own hand over his. A few minutes of silence passed.

"But you're right. We have to be strong," Jiyong agreed. A sob had tried to gurgle up my throat, but I made a weird noise to swallow it down and Jiyong couldn't help but to let out a little amused "hmph."

"Aish," Jiyong sighed. "You're going to have to do me a favor, okay? Promise me," Jiyong said, mostly serious but I knew he was about to tease me. I nodded.

"I can only have one sad maknae at a time, okay? You're the Strong Baby, remember?"

I found it in myself to roll my eyes, and sure enough, Jiyong's expression had softened.

"Let's cook something for him for when he gets home," he suggested, now poking my cheek instead of rubbing it.

"Yeah," I agreed. My voice was coming back as the warmth was slowly returning to our hands. Then it dawned on me that we didn't have much meat in the fridge.

"Wait. Hyung. There's not much in the fridge...cause you were going to be leaving the dorm..."

"Well of course I'm staying. Aish, maknae. We'll go groceries tomorrow or something, okay? We can't exactly go out now."

     He poked my cheek one last time, and then we walked off into the kitchen and quietly awaited any further news of Daesung's arrival. Looking through the kitchen cabinets, I gave myself the biggest peptalk to myself which I hadn't done since at least Japan for our tour.

     I was going to be strong. For us. For Daesung. For Jiyong. This was a test of strength and loyalty. Of faith. And I was rooted. Right here.

A/N edit: summaries of the crash: http://bigbangupdates.com/2011/05/daesung-involved-in-car-accident-news.html