Jiyong, Jiyong, G-Dragon, Jiyong. It was always about Jiyong, and he wasn't even asking for the attention. Maybe that's why I was the attention seeker, really only eager to steal the spotlight from Jiyong. I was jealous, sure, but I was also one of the people who gave him my attention, like I was part of the crowd. In short, yeah, everyone loved Jiyong. Even if you hated him, you were still directing your attention to him.

Even on my birthday, I thought of Jiyong.

It was December 12th, and Jiyong's solo promotions and concerts were over, but now we were already preparing for our first concert of the new year, Big Show 2010.

After my morning workout with Master Hwang and the concert meeting for the day was over, I bought myself a bus ticket to take me to Gwangju. Jiyong was acting kind of stand-off-ish, so visiting my family for my birthday would be best for me, I thought. On the bus ride down, I wondered what he was up to. He was clearly all-business at the concert meeting earlier, talking up a storm and waving his arms animatedly about concepts and costumes. Maybe he was still at YG, making phone calls or re-mixing songs. He wished me a happy birthday and briefly hugged me before I left the studio, but that was it, I guess.

Gwangju soothed my nerves in all the right ways. Mom made humble beef soup and Hanna baked me a cake. Dad pulled me into a bear hug. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I tasted the pleasantly salty cooking of my mother and watched my father warn me with his eyes, like the old days, not to say anything bad about her cooking. Hanna stuck her tongue out at me across the dinner table.

Mom asked me about Jiyong. I just said he was busy. She and Jiyong's mother were friends, so I didn't see why she had to ask. The mothers talk about their sons all the time, don't they?

"Is Jiyong still looking after you well? You look a little...worn down."

I briefly rolled my eyes.

"Mom, I'm fine. Just tired. I couldn't sleep on the way here, so-"

"And why is that?"

She looked at me, really looked me. Maybe it was a mother's intuition, but it really looked like she knew.

"You're stressed, aren't you? Something's on your mind."

I placed my hands in my lap under the dinner table, staring down at my knuckles and biting my lip.

"Its...complicated."

Mom smiled and got up from her seat to lean over the table and offered me more meat and rice from her plate.

"Try not to think about it. Spend the night here."

I told her I couldn't. Practice for the concerts started early in the morning.

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When I returned to the dorm, it was one in the morning. Jiyong still wasn't there. It wasn't even my birthday anymore, but it wasn't like I got much attention anyway, other than from my family. Exhausted, I took a quick shower and dived into the bed, smashing Tom and Laura.

I stirred at around five in the morning. I wanted to roll on my back but there was a familiar warmth tying me down on my side.

"Ah, did I wake you?"

Ahead of me was just the darkness of the dormroom. Jiyong's voice came from behind me, I realized. We were both laying on our sides, with him behind me, his arms outstretched, wrapped gently around me, hands perched on my stomach. It was just like how he used to hold me and I wondered if this was one of those odd dreams.

"Yeah," I mumbled, voice thick with sleep. I think I was delirious. Jiyong chuckled, nuzzling his nose and lips into my hair.

"Did you have a good birthday, maknae?"

I sighed into my pillow.

"What's wrong?"

His fingers meekly a few inches of skin on my stomach. My shirt had ridden up underneath the blankets.

"It wasn't the best."

His fingers were dry and rough, almost like sandpaper, but somehow it tickled.

"No?"

"No," I affirmed.

"Did you get any presents?"

"Hm. Not really," I shrugged.

I did receive a gift, but it was a day late, I thought. Jiyong was here, giving me his attention, asking how my day was, and I was in his arms.

But now it was December 13th, I was just Seungri, he was Jiyong, and we had to be up in two hours.