Part 6 : Everyone Has a Secret

“Is she really that special to you, Yunho-ah?” Jaejoong muttered to himself.

Driven by his emotion; Jaejoong stealthily stalked him from behind. Andy has completely washed out of his mind at that time.

*****

Jaejoong watched as Yunho and the girl entered the BVlgari shop. He stopped trailing them; doesn’t want to expose himself and rested his back against the wall.

“Are they getting married or what? They’re shopping like they’re about to move into a new house…” Jaejoong rolled his eyes. He eyed them from far while the ice-cream.

“Tsk Tsk…Pity you, Yunho-ah…you’re stuck with a gold digger…” Jaejoong shook his head and quickly finished up his ice cream before it’s melting.

He gave another look at the shop and noticed that Yunho’s still inside. Jaejoong sighed. He didn’t feel comfortable standing there hiding behind the wall. Stalking people is wrong and not to forget that it’s boring too. He feels even more uncomfortable trying to catch up with them in his condition. How can he forget about his right foot?

It’s all thanks to Yunho. He tripped down in the course of trying to save himself from Yunho a day before.

Jaejoong propped his right foot on his thigh to rub his numb ankle. He winced in pain just by touching it but continued massaging it. He stopped instantly when his phone rang. Seeing Andy’s name popped up on the screen of his phone; Jaejoong gasped.

“Andy! I forgot about him!” Jaejoong clumsily slid the answer button. He brought the phone close to his ear.

“Jaejoong-ah! Where are you?” The panic plain on his voice.

“A-Andy…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to leave you like that…I…”

Jaejoong was trying to come up with the plausible excuse. He swore for one second there he just wanted to end their relationship through the phone. ‘Cruel’ and ‘heartless’ is what people would describe him and that isn’t something new to him. But thinking that Andy is a nice guy and even nicer than any other guys he dated before; Jaejoong couldn’t do it.

“Andy-ah…I’m sorry…there are a lot of things running in my head and I don’t feel well…”

“Is it because of me?!”

“No! Of course not…it’s just me…I’ll meet you at the school tomorrow…and I’ll explain everything…thanks for accompanying me today…and sorry for leaving you just like that…” Jaejoong apologized again. His voice sounded so sincere.

The call ended with a ‘click’ sound and Jaejoong rubbed his face along with a sigh.

“Kim Jaejoong…what’s wrong with you? Why are you doing this?” Jaejoong let out a haggard sigh.

Biting onto his bottom lip; Jaejoong type a short text message and sent it to Junsu.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” Jaejoong’s so frustrated with the question that has no answer. He turned his body around with a groan.

“Let me tell you what’s wrong with you…”

Jaejoong’s body jerked; his hand clamping on his left chest. Yunho’s standing just a foot away from him.

“I never know that you could go this low, Ugly…stalking me, huh?”

Jaejoong’s mouth moved likes he’s about to say something but something else came first before he could speak. Something else with the sound of ‘thud’.

Jaejoong closed his eyes; swallowing down a yelp when Yunho intentionally dropped the shopping bags down onto Jaejoong’s feet.

“Oppss! My fault…”

Jaejoong curled his hands into a fist and flared his eyes to Yunho.

“YAHH!!!”

“Is this where I’m supposed to say ‘it’s scary’? Waa~ It’s sca-”

Yunho couldn’t complete his sentence when Jaejoong smacked him on his chest hard.

“Ouch! That’s hurt!”

“Well…that’s because I’m a man, you !”

“Yeah…I know now…” Yunho rubbed his chest in circle. He arched his brow eyeing Jaejoong from head to toe.

“What are you doing here?”

“What? It’s not like I can’t come here…and for shopping of course!” Jaejoong tipped his chin; protesting.

“Shopping? Well, I don’t see any shopping bag?”

“I HAVE! It’s…It’s… with Andy! We came together for a DATE…yes a DATE!” Jaejoong couldn’t hide the fact that he’s stammering.

“And where’s Andy now?”

“I sent him away because he’s boring!” Jaejoong said; his voice firm. Yunho studied Jaejoong’s face; as if uncertain about what he heard just now. Jaejoong blinked his eyes rapidly.

“W-what? It’s better than stuck with a gold digger like you”

Yunho took a step closer to him, his brown eyes narrowing. Jaejoong forced himself not to retreat. Well, it’s not like he has that many space for him to back away. And he was right when he could feel the cold wall against his back.

“So you ARE stalking me…”

“I…I don’t understand what you’re talking about…bumping into you doesn’t mean that I’m stalking you!” Jaejoong’s defending himself. He his lips nervously; braced himself to have an eye contact with Yunho.

Yunho advanced toward him. He slammed both of his hands to both Jaejoong’s sides – the right and the left; effectively blocking any escape. Yunho stood so near, Jaejoong could smell the fresh scent soap on his skin. His cheeks warmed.

“Don’t tell me that you’re jealous seeing me with someone else?”

“J-Jealous?” Jaejoong laughed dryly. If only he can give Yunho a straightforward answer. He too couldn’t figure out his real feeling.

“Why should I?”

Yunho didn’t straightly answer. He shot his eyes deeply, like he was searching for the weakness within him. He took another step closer to Jaejoong, giving him no room to breathe. Yunho then reached out his fingers to caress Jaejoong’s jaw line. Jaejoong’s body stiffened.

“We both know that you can't resist me…” Yunho said; his voice low and solemn. His lips quirked into a smirk.

Jaejoong’ heart skipped a beat; desperately tracing a hint of jokes behind Yunho’s words.   

“Why don’t you just surrender your heart to me, Jaejoong-ah…” Yunho said softly while caressing Jaejoong’s cheek.

“Go to hell!!!” Jaejoong slapped Yunho’s hand away from him; not going to fall for the same trick twice. Yunho chuckled.

“Why should I? When I’m already in heaven…” He patted Jaejoong’s cheek and grinned.

“These are for your parents…don’t forget to bring them home…” Yunho’s talking about the shopping bags on the floor. He backed away from Jaejoong and turned around. He waved his hand in the air and jammed both of his hands into the jeans pocket.

*Jaejoong’s POV

Yunho waved his hand in the air and jammed his hands into the jeans pocket. That girl who’s waiting in front of the BVlgari’s shop rushed towards his side and linked their arms together. The shopping bags that was in her hands just now changed into Yunho’s right hand.

I rolled my eyes couldn’t stand to witness the whole mushiness. I couldn’t deny the twinge of envy at their obvious happiness.

“Don’t tell me that you’re jealous seeing me with someone else?”

Yunho’s voice resonated to my ears like it’s mocking me. This view is too familiar to me. Seeing Yunho with another girl is nothing to be shocked. I’ve seen him with different girls a lot till I lost the count. They were all have the same look on their face; like they’re the happiest person in this world. Nothing changed, really.

Except for the way Yunho’s looking at her. It seems like he really care about that girl; like all the real feeling’s flowing out of his gaze. So sincere and so honest.

“No…it can’t be…” I murmured.

They’re getting farther away from where I’m standing. I barely saw their backs ever since they merged with the crowds. I looked away to my left and the exit door isn’t that far from me. The date is screwed up and my mood is ruined because of Yunho. I should just head back home.

Jung Yunho.

He used to have a big role in my life; everything he did affecting me. Maybe it still does.

Before I met Junsu and Changmin, Yunho’s the only friends that I have. We’ve been friends since little kids. I’ve grew up by looking up to him. Due to our status; it’s really hard for us to be friends with others. It’s always us two. Yunho’s always been there for me; protecting me. I feel safe just by standing behind him; with him shielding me. That’s how I remember his back very well.

Yunho to me; is someone I cannot be. I admired him. I idolized him. As we grew up; I finally realized that this feeling inside me wasn’t just a mere admiration. It’s more than that. But I never got a chance to confess to him; more like I afraid to confess to him. Afraid that I might lose him.

So I keep it. I thought I would be fine as long as he stays next to me. He would never leave me; that’s what I believed. And that’s what he promised me.

I should have known nothing would last forever. It never went as easy as I thought it would be. A problem arose in the Jung family that led Yunho to his rebellious side. He dates different girl everyday just trying to piss off his father. As much as I wanna be the dependable friend who understands his everything; the jealousy continued building up whenever I watched him with a girl.

The more they seek Yunho’s attention; the more Yunho’s growing apart from me. I could set my heart at ease when I realized that he’ll always come back to me at the end of the day. But that also doesn’t last forever. After one particular incident occurred; the Jung family urgently decided to move out of the country.

“I have no reason to stay here anymore…”

“Am I not enough?”

“What do you mean by it, Jaejoong-ah? I don’t get it…”

“Can’t you just stay here? For me? Can’t I be your only reason to stay here?”

What am I doing? Wake up Kim Jaejoong!!! Everything’s changed! You don’t need him anymore!! Just because he came back; it doesn’t mean he’s going to be yours!

The cold tears rolled down my cheek despite all those admonitions. The familiar pain’s stabbing my heart. I closed my eyes and held my breath.

“YAHHH!!! KIM JAEJOONG!!!!”

I snapped my eyes; alarmed.

*End of Jaejoong’s POV

Yunho was looking for Jaejoong when he realized where Jaejoong’s heading to. His eyes widened with apprehension.

“YAHHH!!! KIM JAEJOONG!!!!” Yunho’s loud screaming alerted everyone. Yunho threw the shopping bags and sprinted towards Jaejoong without a second thought.

He pulled Jaejoong by his hand and twisted his body around; making Jaejoong falling into his embrace. Not long after that; they heard the squeal of the brakes, the screeching of the tires and the crunch of gravel.

“YAHH!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?!!!!” Yunho yelled. He was furious. If he was late even by a second; Jaejoong’s probably wouldn’t standing there with him.

“Yunho?” Jaejoong looked up to him; still in dazed.

“Jaejoongie…” Yunho’s voice was slightly shaky. He regretted as soon as he saw the stains of tears on Jaejoong’s cheek.

“Yunho-ah…please don’t leave me…” It slipped out from the tip of Jaejoong’s lips. His voice’s breaking. Yunho widened his eyes in surprised; wouldn’t expecting that to come out from Jaejoong.

“Jaejoongie…” He said; drawing Jaejoong even close to him. Gently, Yunho rocked him in his arms.

They’re standing still in that position for about 5 minutes without speaking a word. Jaejoong’s body gradually relaxed in Yunho’s embrace, relishing his strength and warmth. And slowly, Jaejoong pushed him out of Yunho with his gaze fixed on the ground.

“I’m fine now…you can go…” Jaejoong immediately said, as soon as he regained his conscience.

“No! I’m not going anywhere…” Yunho spoke with a stern voice. He grabbed Jaejoong by his wrist and dragged the shorter boy to follow him.

“Yunho-ah…I’m in no mood to argue with you…you can go back to your girlfriend…” Jaejoong attempted to free his wrist out of Yunho’s grasp but he failed. When it comes to the power of strength, Yunho’s obviously dominating.

“She can find her way back…”

Jaejoong lost his words to argue.

“You’re almost got yourself killed! Do you think I’m still going to let you go home by yourself?! And what the hell is wrong with you?!!!!!”

“Yunho-ah…stop it…I’m not a kid…”

“And where’s Andy?!!! Did he hurt you that you become like this?”

“THE ONLY ONE WHO’S HURTING ME IS YOU!!!” Jaejoong snatched his hand away roughly.

Yunho stumped. Everyone has their eyes on them at that time. But Jaejoong wouldn’t give a damn about others anymore. He touched the hem of Yunho’s shirt lightly.

“Just send me home, please…” Jaejoong pleaded. The tears were forming at the corner of his eyes.  

*****

Junsu read the text message he received from Jaejoong.

“This date is ! I just wanna go home”

“Who is it from?” A pair of arms wrapped his waist from behind. Junsu looked above his shoulder.

“It’s Jaejoong…” Junsu’s tapping his finger at the back of his phone; thinking.

“What are you thinking?”

“Nah…I have to go to him…” Junsu wriggled out of the embrace and went to collect his stuffs and his jacket.

“Junsu-ah…he can call his chauffeur…we barely have a private time together nowadays…”

“But I feel guilty, Yoochun-ah…he’s my friend…I made a promise with him but I broke it…” Junsu flailed his hands in the air; frustrated.

“I know but you can meet him anytime you guys want…I’m your lover, Junsu-ah…but we hardly go out on a date…”

“And whose fault that is?” Junsu retorted.

“First you came to my school…that I still can handle it…but now you’re teaching my class! It’s so unbelievable…you should just stay teaching at that small school. They paid you less but at least we’re not that restricted…”

Yoochun locked his lips tight didn’t wish to prolong the argument.

“I’m sorry…” Junsu hurriedly apologized. He put back his jacket and sat on the couch.

“I feel bad for keeping a secret about our relationship…and it’s really hard for me to pretend that I don’t know you in class…” Junsu’s being honest. Yoochun then sat down next to Junsu. He placed his hand on Junsu’s shoulder and pulled him closed to him.

“We should be extra careful…” Yoochun planted a soft peck on Junsu’s temple.

*****

Ever since they boarded Yunho’s car, neither Yunho nor Jaejoong speak a word. Jaejoong threw his gaze out of the window most of the time. Yunho’s on the other hand just driving like he’s alone in that car with no one’s accompanying him by his side.

Until the car’s slowing down as it reached the traffic light; Yunho finally noticed the way Jaejoong’s rubbing his wrist. A red line started to visible on Jaejoong’s fair skinny wrist. Yunho closed his eyes feeling guilty. He’s the one to be blamed for it.

“I’m sorry…” Yunho said, breaking the awkward silence between them. And with that; Jaejoong finally gave him an attention.

Yunho motioned with his eyes; mentioning about Jaejoong’s wrist.

“Nah…it doesn’t really hurt…”

And then the silence came back filled up the air. Both of them were sitting in the same car without talking and with no music to sooth their hearts.

Jaejoong took a deep breath; mustering his courage to make a conversation.  

“I never thought that you would have changed, Yunho-ah…”

“Hmmm?”

“I thought your heart is as hard as stone…” Jaejoong looked at him as he continued. Yunho glanced at him then back focusing to the road.

“You would, when you’ve found the right one…” Yunho answered along with a smile.

Yunho’s stop playing around and stick with someone; that’s good. But when he thinks that he’s not the one that changed Yunho’s heart, he feels it’s hard for him to breathe. If only he’s the reason from behind that smile; if only.    

“You’re talking like you’re getting married tomorrow…” Jaejoong chuckled.

“You know I don’t believe in marriage, Jaejoong-ah…”

“And here I’ve thought you’ve really changed…” Jaejoong couldn’t tell if he feels disappointed or relieved.

“I’m still the same me, Jaejoong-ah…you’re the one who’s changed. I was surprised when I meet you again after 2 years, seriously…YOU’VE CHANGED COMPLETELY…and you’re too skinny, you know that…”

Jaejoong snorted. If only what’s inside his heart can be changed too.

“And that’s a bad thing? If you prefer the shy coward Kim Jaejoong who’s always hiding behind your back, he’s dead after you’re gone…”  

With one hand holding onto the steering wheel; Yunho rubbed the bridge of his nose with his other hand, falling deeply in his thought.  

“I’m sorry…” Yunho spoke with a low serious voice.

Jaejoong focused on the street out of the window; barely hanging on. The tears trickled to fall down but he held back. He won’t allow Yunho to see his weak side; not anymore.

“Why did you come back, Yunho-ah? You’ve said it yourself before, that you have no reason to stay here anymore. That you won’t come back here anymore…”

Yunho swallowed a lump down his throat. Of course he remembers that. But those words were uttered out of his anger and sadness for losing the most precious person in his life. His own mother.   

He never meant to hurt Jaejoong even for a tiny little bit. He’s gone for a reason and he came back also for a reason. But before he could say it; they were already inside Kim’s property.

Yunho parked his car right in front of the doorsteps. He pulled the hand break and darted his eyes on Jaejoong on the passenger seat. Jaejoong’s avoiding having an eye contact with him.

“I’m going in to greet your parents…”

“Don’t bother…you should just go back to your girlfriend…I’m totally not in the mood to see your face…”

“Do you really hate me that much?!” Yunho raised his voice.

Jaejoong pretended like he didn’t hear it. He quickly unbuckled the seat belt and pushed the door opened. He just wanted to escape from that car as fast as he could. Yunho acted fast by holding onto Jaejoong’s shoulder when Jaejoong didn’t answer him.

“Yes! I hate you so much! I REALLY HATE YOU SO MUCH!!! Are you happy now?!” Jaejoong brushed off his hand and get out of the car. He ran into the house without looking back.

Yunho on the other hand was taken aback by Jaejoong’s bold answer. He froze on his seat; taking a long time to swallow the fact. Jaejoong might have said that with an intention to hurt him and if he really did; Yunho would say that Jaejoong really did a good job. Because it really hurts him deep inside his heart.

Yunho wrapped his face and massaged his temple. He bit back a sigh. Jaejoong to him is like the puzzle pieces that he couldn’t solve; the question that he couldn’t find the answer. The more he wanna fix it, the more it’s broken. He slammed both of his hands on the steering wheel; frustrated.

*KNOCK! KNOCK!

The light knocking against the window glass startled him. It was Mr. Kim. Mrs. Kim also was there standing next to his husband. Yunho pressed on the button; waiting for the window to roll down.

“Yunho-ah? What are you doing? Don’t you wanna come inside first?”

Yunho remembers what Jaejoong said just now. He then shook his head lightly, politely rejecting the offer.

“I’m so sorry Auntie, Uncle…I have to go now…someone’s waiting for me…next time, okay…” Yunho tried hard to smile out of respect even if it turned to be an awkward smile.

Mr. & Mrs.Kim watched as Yunho’s car disappeared out of their sight.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t tell him about Jaejoong’s real condition? Yunho deserves to know…” Mrs. Kim began doubting their decision.

“But Honey…Jaejoongie made us promised him, remember? If we break that promise, he won’t trust us anymore…”

“Jaejoongie is our only son…He tried to kill himself once after Yunho left…what if Yunho leave him again? Two years ago, it’s just a luck that we found Joongie early…if we found him 5 minutes later, he wouldn’t be here!”

*****

Jaejoong closed the door swiftly behind him and locked it. Then he leaned his back against it and slowly slid to the floor.

*Jaejoong’s POV

As much as I hate you, I hate myself even more…I wrote your name in my heart once and now I can’t even get rid of it…as much as I want to erase it, the memories with you are too much that it consumes lots of spaces in my heart and my mind.

“Why? Why did you come back?! When I finally able to move without depending on you?!”

*Flashback

His late mother has been buried an hour ago but Yunho’s still there. Yunho’s standing there; staring onto the space without budge. I watched him mourning over the lost of his mother. I was there accompanying him; never really left actually.

Mrs. Jung died tragically. She was murdered in one of the cruises belongs to Mr. Jung with no witnesses. Yunho couldn’t accept it.

Yunho walked to me.

“I have no reason to stay here anymore…” Yunho voiced out in a depressed tone.

“Am I not enough?”

“What do you mean by it, Jaejoong-ah? I don’t get it…”

“Can’t you just stay here? For me? Can’t I be your only reason to stay here?”

“You can live without me, Jaejoong-ah…Grow up and find yourself a new friend…”

*Flashback End

It was harsh. Those words you uttered with no emotion; was harsh. REALLY HARSH.

“Why? Why? Why you, Yunho-ah? Why did I fell in love with you? Why this stupid heart yearns for your love? From you who don’t even looking at me…” The tears continued streaming down shamelessly.

*End of Jaejoong’s POV

Jaejoong rose to his feet. He sagged to the bed, dropped his head between his knees and forced air into his lungs. He flung himself sideways on the bed and sobbed into his pillow.  

*******

A/N: Another update~ Please support me by subscribing and comments are most welcomed (^_~)...your comments will be replied on the comment section. Thanks *bow*