Part 23: Overcome Your Own Fear

Yunho, Junsu and Changmin got out of their own cars and hurried to gather with each other.

“Found him?” Yunho was the first one to ask them. Both of them shook their heads, guilt descended in each one of their faces. Yunho seems distracted; probably blaming himself inside his head and Junsu noticed that.

“It’s okay…we’ll find him again…”  Junsu slipped in encouraging words. They will find Jaejoong one way or another, by hooks or by crooks – they have to.

“I told you that we shouldn’t trust that Choi girl…” Changmin’s eyes focusing on Junsu, admonished.

“Okay…you’re right…but it’s not like we just leave after she came to us, right? We went to find Jaejoong first…we tried to call him…and we’ve searched all over the place, there’s not even a single trace of him, remember?!”

“Yes, I remember…” Changmin admitted grudgingly. Junsu was right but he couldn’t seem to put off the fire of his anger whenever he’s thinking about that girl. He abhorred that kind of girl who pretends to be innocent, to mask her real side.

Junsu’s eyes shifted to Yunho who remains silence.

“Are you sure Baekho wasn’t behind this?” Junsu intentionally brought up Baekho’s name. He told Yunho about what Aaron told him but even Aaron didn’t know what Baekho meant by ‘unfinished business’.

“It’s not him…” Resting his back against his car, Yunho said weakly.

“He’s probably on his way back to America by now…” He added.

“How can you be so sure?” Changmin interjected. At that point of times, they have no one else to trust but themselves. Who knows it’s probably just another trap or deceit.

Yunho rubbed his small face and buried it inside his hands. Inhaling deeply, he averted his attention intently on them.

“Baekho was sent by my father…to be his eyes, approach me, persuade me to leave Jaejoong and return back to his side…”

*Flashback

“That’s not going to happen…let him rot in hell and even then, I won’t forgive him!”

“I know...when I met you, I finally understood…and that’s why I’m going back to America…” Baekho had decided to just forget everything. He chose to abandon it and going back to Ren’s side.

“Then what will you going to tell him?”

“The truth…and ask him to give up…”

Yunho was thankful but still, he couldn’t understand why Baekho would want to help him?

“Why are you doing this? And what’s your relationship with my father anyway?”

“He and my parents are business partner…he happened to find out about the whole changing school thing and he suggested CassiElf High…He helped me with something, feel like I owed him and that’s why I agreed to it, to repay the deed”

Yunho was having a hard time to believe it. To repay the deed? He bet that his father must have forced him to do it, threatened him with something…and that would sound more like him.

“You can set your mind at ease…I’m not going to interfere with your life anymore…and so is Ren…I think he learnt his lesson very well this time…and hope that you guys can forgive him…”

If only he can really set his mind at ease like Baekho suggested. He’s just finished completing one puzzle and there’s more puzzles to deal with – more complicated than the previous one, more obstacles to overcome. It’s too soon for him to sigh in relief. Yes, it’s too soon.

“Your relationship with Ren…your parents approved it?”

Baekho answered with a smile first.

“You did a research about Ren and found out that he was adopted by my parents…if only you’d do research about me…then you’d find out that they’re dead a year and a half ago…I lost them in a blink of eyes…I thought I’d go insane…the pain of losing someone you love is unbearable..”

Yunho blinked his eyes, once and then twice as the sympathy welled in. He knew that feeling better. He thought his life’s crumbling down when his mother died. But because of that he was decided to win Jaejoong’s heart back. He lost someone he love and he doesn’t want to lose Jaejoong too.

“You made it through…” Yunho commented. Baekho nodded along with a smile.

“Because of Ren…he’s troublesome indeed...he put me in so many problems…but thanks to that, I was able to let go of the past and focus on the future…the future with him…”

*Flashback End

Yunho fell deeply in his thought. He doesn’t want to lose Jaejoong too, he needed Jaejoong to be by his side and only then he can live.

“I can always find you…you could never hide from me…”

“Oh really? Hurmm…don’t let it bite your tongue later”

Yunho closed his eyes, obviously depressed. Changmin laid his hand on Yunho’s arm and patted it softly.

“Don’t give up...Jaejoong’s counting on us…”

“Should we tell Jaejoong’s parents about his missing?” Junsu paced, frustrated that they’re meeting with a dead end.

“No…it’s not like that can lodge a report, it’s not even 24 hours yet…we’ll just make them worry…” Changmin disagreed. Junsu looked up, in breath and scowled into the distance.

“Damn it!”

Amidst that situation, Yunho’s phone bleeped when he received a new text message. His eyes went wide when he saw Jaejoong’s name on the screen.

“How could you leave me alone here at school? I was locked inside the cleaner’s room, able to get out just now… Come and pick me up ASAP!”

“HE’S STILL AT SCHOOL!”

*****

Jaejoong’s eyes fluttered open weakly. He’s barely seeing a thing, everything looks disoriented and blurry. He didn’t know where he’s at and where he will be brought to. He felt the rough prick jabbing his back as he’s being dragged ruggedly crossing along the jagged ground.

In the wavering street lights, his head hurts like it’s about to break. He breathed hard and his heart a drumbeat in his ears. It’s too painful and he’s too weak to even cry out for help.

“We’re almost there…we’re almost there…” He heard Siwon’s voice faintly and he bet the only person who’s enjoying that moment is none other than Siwon. He could hear the sound of him whistling while dragging him.

Jaejoong breathed heavily. 

“I can always find you…you could never hide from me…”

“Aaahhhh…” Jaejoong groaned low, the pain stung him. He was about to lose consciousness again and using his thumb, he pushed the ring out of his finger until it fully came out.

‘You’ll find me, right? Yunho-ah…’

The tears rolled down from the corner of his eyes. He didn’t know what will about to happen and he didn’t want to know. He just wants it to end fast.  He hoped that the ring will give them the clue as to his whereabouts.

The breath seems stuck right at his throat, causing Jaejoong to struggle in breathing.  Everything seems wavering along the lights and just like that he lost his consciousness once again.

*****

Siwon walked back and forth while poking his temple. He stopped and threw his gaze at the unconscious Jaejoong lying on the floor. Gaining no response from the latter, he continued pacing and stopped abruptly later on. He darted his eyes on him.

“I must have hit him a little hard…” He crouched down and staring down at Jaejoong. He brought his hand to touch Jaejoong only to retreat it soon after.

He rose up to his feet, fidgeted on the same spot before started to pace again. Biting onto his nails, he eyed Jaejoong impatiently. He couldn’t wait anymore. He had to wake him up. He advanced closer to Jaejoong inch by inch and stopped when his feet almost bump with the abdomen.

“Jaejoong-ah…” He called, looking down, expecting some movements from Jaejoong.

“Jaejoong-ah…you have to wake up…there’s something that I need to show you…”

“Jaejoong-ah…” He began nudging Jaejoong’s body with his feet. And just like before, he got no response and it infuriated him.

And the simple nudging turned into a violence kicking in a split second.

“Jaejoong-ah!!! Wake up!!!” He kicked Jaejoong hard right at Jaejoong’s abdomen.

Again and again, he kicked him mercilessly while shouting asking him to wake up. Jaejoong blenched, he shot his eyes wide opened.

“WAKE UP!!! I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING!!!!”

Both of Jaejoong’s hand flew to his stomach, clenched it hoping that it could reduce the overwhelming pain.

“Jaejoong-ah! You’re up!” Siwon finally stopped. Jaejoong curled his body and the blood spurted out from his mouth.

“UP! UP! STAND UP!!!” Siwon jumped like a little kid, excited.

“I wanna show you something! Up!!!”

Jaejoong felt dizzy, his eyesight blurry. He waited for a moment to clear up his vision and forced himself to stand up. The wind breezed through and slapped against his face. They’re out at the open space, the rooftop to be exact. And the rooftop oddly familiar, one that he used to go before. Turning around, he spotted the building of his classroom in an opposite direction. Right at that moment he realized that they’re standing at the rooftop of the science building; the highest building at the school.

Jaejoong can’t even kept his body steady and flopped down back on his knees.

“Arrghhh!” He whimpered. The hands around his stomach tightened. The thick red blood dripped from his mouth and down to the floor.

“Don’t just sit there!”

A strangle sound of gasp emitted from Jaejoong’s mouth when Siwon drove him up with his rough hands and pushed him towards the wall. If he’d been harsh, Jaejoong’s probably ended up thrown out of the building. He started to wonder if that would have been the better choice. On the bright side, Siwon won’t be able to torture him anymore.

“Look…can you see that building…the one that have the neon signboard in star kinda shape…I bought an apartment there…for us to live…I can assure you it’s much bigger than Jung Yunho’s house…” Siwon pointed somewhere across the street.

“W-why…”Jaejoong swallowed down.

“Why…are you doing this to me?” The tears stung Jaejoong’s eyes. He doesn’t think his body could take any more pain than he’s already bearing. His body battered and his heart shattered.

“Why? I did this just for you!  Can’t you see? I want to prove to you that I can make you happy, unlike that Jung bastard!” Siwon scolded.

“He suddenly turned up and he thought he could take away from me just like that?!”

“That’s where you’re wrong…Yunho-he…he doesn’t just turn up…he existed in my life way before you know me…”

“HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU!!! He’s going to break your heart! And he called you ‘UGLY’!” Siwon countered.

“You don’t know a thing about him…and you don’t know a thing about me…” Jaejoong stressed it out and slowly backed away from him. While holding onto the wall, Jaejoong staggered farther away from him.

“I know everything about you! Your favorite chocolate, which flowers you fond with and which that you have allergies to…I know your favorite place, your favorite food…”

“So it was you…” Jaejoong muttered lowly.

“Those chocolates and flowers; you sent them…how did you even break through the security?”

“That’s just a piece of cake…I worked for GD and TOP…those two love birds, they didn’t even know that I put drugs into their drinks! They out for the whole night, giving me more than enough times to do whatever I wanted to do…copy their cards, forge their fingerprints….it just need the right techniques…” Siwon grinned proudly.

The more Siwon revealed about the truth, the more he hates him. There’s no other way he could forgive him. Yunho was right, he should never trust Siwon. And he should believe it when Changmin told him that Siwon is lunatic. Jaejoong spat out, feeling disgusting. The smile on Siwon’s face faded. He then ran toward Jaejoong, hauling him up on his shoulder, carrying him straight to where the bench is located.

“YAH! What are you doing?!”

Jaejoong stared in horror at the moment his feet landed on the bench. Just one push, he noted, just a push from Siwon, he’d ended up at the bottom with the percentage of being dead is higher than stay alive.

“What are you doing?” Jaejoong gulped down. He ran out of breath, his heart beats fast whenever his body swayed with every simple touch of the winds. Siwon climbed on the bench and stood next to Jaejoong.

“I don’t mind dying together with you, Jaejoong-ah…we die together and Yunho won’t be able to steal you from me anymore…”

“You’re sick!”

Siwon ignored and continued.

“But in case if you survived and end up paralyzed instead…don’t worry, I’ll take care of you…I give you my promise that I’d never leave you…because by then, I don’t think Yunho would want to be with you anymore…”

“YOU’RE CRAZY!!!” Jaejoong shouted.

“YES I’M CRAZY!!! I’M CRAZY IN LOVE WITH YOU!!! SO THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD CHOOSE ME NOT HIM!!!”

Siwon rummaged through Jaejoong’s pocket and took out the phone.

“Call him! Call him and tell him that you love me, or do you rather if we jump together from this building?” Siwon shoved the phone into Jaejoong’s hand and demanded him to follow his every instruction. Not enough with that, he had his hand on Jaejoong’s back, threatening to push him down.

Jaejoong looked down. Closing his eyes, Yunho’s face flashed right before his eyes.

“…I took the first step and came out from my comfort zone just to be with you…I took a vow to myself to love you and only you…but why it’s hard for you to trust me? How can you trust a stranger but not me?”

The tears streamed down when he recalled it. He always thought that he’d be better off dead than having to move on with his life without Yunho in it. Yunho put him at the pit of misery, turned him into an ugliest monster. But even so, Yunho’s much better when compared to him. At least he’s being truth to his feeling.

“I really love you...and before you start to argue; I wanna stress it out that this is the first time I ever said something like this to someone. The word ‘love’ never exists in my family and I thought it would never exist in my life too. But I was wrong. I found love when I found you. And this is NOT something that I can say callously; Jaejoong-ah. I meant it.”

“…and I took your confession for granted…” He mumbled.

“What did you say?!”

Jaejoong looked over to Siwon.

“I don’t want to die…not before I tell Yunho that I love him…” The phone then slipped out from his grasp and crashed down to the ground.

“YAH!!!!!!”

“I don’t have any intention to satisfy your sick fantasy too…I don’t love you and I won’t love you…even if I died, you’d be the last person I chose to be with…”

“Then fine…if I can’t have you, no one can have you!” Siwon said through his gritted teeth.

The tears rolled down creating a visible line as Jaejoong closed his eyes; ready for whatever that will come next.

“Yunho-ah…I love you…” Jaejoong whispered to the thin air. It would be much better if he could say it to Yunho face to face.  If his life’s about to end at that period of time, he wanted to remember only the best about him. And so, he began to play Yunho’s various expressions inside his mind.

“YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Changmin launched his body forward, threw his body in the air and pushed Siwon from behind. Siwon’s loud screaming erupted soon after and it went silence not long after that. Jaejoong’s body swayed when the tip of Siwon’s fingers brushed through his hand. Luckily for Jaejoong, Yunho caught his hand right in time, pulling him to fall down into his embrace instead – right where he belongs.

Both of them threw a look at Changmin who stood by the wall, their eyes were asking about Siwon’s condition. Changmin shook his head in return. Jaejoong looked up to Yunho, stared into his brown eyes.

“You’ve found me…” Yunho could feel Jaejoong’s body tensed and his voice hardened. The tears that pooled at the corner of his eyes, dropped down.

“I can always find you…you could never hide from me…” Yunho said, disconcerted by Jaejoong’s tears. He drew in a deep breath, didn’t want to think what would happen if they’re a second late and applied a soft kiss on Jaejoong’s forehead. Jaejoong then nodded, agreeing with it. A reluctant smile curved his mouth before he fainted right inside Yunho’s arm.

*****

“MY BABY~!!!!! HONEY, OUR BABY~!!!!!” Mrs.Kim cried out with her hand extended to reach out for Jaejoong when their son’s being pushed into the operation room. Mr.Kim blocked her by hugging her.

Junsu sat on the bench crying silently inside Changmin’s embrace. Changmin ran his hand up and down on Junsu’s back. That day was the hardest day for them and the ending of it is still far for them to determine. The police had promised them that they’ll find Choi Shin Ji – Choi Si Won’s dongsaeng for further investigation. The press swarmed them like buzzing bees till they had to take a strict action in dealing with them.

And Jaejoong – Jaejoong’s a strong fighter. The surgery went well but he had to be hospitalized for two weeks, putting Bo Mi and Ga Eul’s birthday party on halt. They celebrated with simple cup cakes for the starter and the party will be held after Jaejoong got better.  

It’s a different story when it comes to Yunho. After the surgery, he never once visits Jaejoong at the hospital. Jaejoong was held for almost two weeks and for almost two weeks also Yunho’s face was out of his sight.

*****

Yunho lost in his trance while staring past a pair of couple rings.

“It’s Cartier isn’t?” Yunho snapped back to reality when a tap landed on his shoulder. Mrs.Kim pulled the chair next to him and took the ring case, to have a closer look.

“It’s...emmm…the limited edition couple rings…”

Mrs.Kim returned it with a smile.

“I know…Jaejoongie went crazy when he couldn’t have this rings…you bought it, he said…”

Yunho managed half smile. He didn’t say anything for a long moment.

“I…intentionally pissed him off just to get this rings…but he never knew that this ring is meant for him…” He paused.

“I…” Mrs. Kim laid her hand on top of Yunho’s hand.

“Jaejoongie’s appa told me about it already…that you wish to propose our Jaejoongie right after you guys graduate…”

Yunho nodded, affirming it.

“But I’m afraid my old man will interfere…he will and I don’t want Jaejoong to suffer because of me, Jaejoong didn’t even know the whole story…I want him to be happy and I want to spend my whole life with him…”

“But you’re scared the spoiled Jaejoongie won’t stand it…” Mrs.Kim finished it for him.

“Well, his bedroom is larger than my house. His bed is specially made…he change his bed spread like he changes his clothes…his closet is the same size like my bedroom or maybe bigger…everything he clean, he clean it thrice…” Yunho began to state one by one. Mrs. Kim giggled when she heard it.

“You got your point…and you have us to blame…we spoil him too much…and that’s why…” Mrs.Kim twitched Yunho’s hand fondly.

“…we put our trust on you, Yunho-ah…if there’s someone that can deal with him, it’s you…”

Yunho looked away. He’s scared to give her a promise that it’s out of his control to fulfill it.

“He’ll be released tomorrow…go and bring him back. To your house.” She said after a beat.

“All he needs right now is you…and whatever happened to him was not your fault, so stop torturing yourself…”

Mrs.Kim left Yunho alone after gave him a piece of her advice. Yunho took a deep breath and released it with a sigh. His mind brought him back to that incident.

When they reached the school, the first thing they saw was the bloody helmet and it’s more than a bad sign. And then it added up with the dragging mark, his blood boiled and his heart constricted. All the bad premonitions played inside his head, pushing him into the pit of darkness and Jaejoong’s ring that they found was like the light of hope. At that moment, Yunho made a promise to himself – if they found Jaejoong, if he’s saved, screw up the graduation…he will propose Jaejoong right away.

If only Jaejoong’s ready. He needs Jaejoong to be ready.

*****

“You’re aware that I can walk, right?” Jaejoong said the first thing they entered Yunho’s house.

“Yes, I’m aware…” Still carrying Jaejoong, he pushed the door with his feet. He stopped for a moment to drop the keys on the cabinet nearby; he then headed straight to his bed room.

Taking an extra precaution, Yunho lowered down Jaejoong’s body on the bed. Jaejoong who had his eyes fixed on Yunho the whole times extended his hand to caress Yunho’s cheek. And their eyes locked.

Jaejoong then wrapped his arm around Yunho’s neck, pulling the latter lower and closer to him. They just let their eyes did the talking. Yunho rested both of his arms on each of Jaejoong’s side, leaned down a little closer to capture Jaejoong’s lips with his. The soft pressure of Jaejoong’s mouth yielding against his, tasted so sweet – something that he could never get tired of. So addictive, so seductive.

He drew away only to change the position to the left side and captured Jaejoong’s mouth once again. Jaejoong pulled back to breath and Yunho took that opportunity to slip his tongue inside Jaejoong’s mouth, and brushing for one long lingering moment.

“Let’s go on trip together…”

Jaejoong’s in the middle of stabilizing his breathing when Yunho suddenly blurted that out. His cheeks flushed.

“W-what?”

“The trip…just the two of us, the one that we planned before…” Yunho skimmed his fingers through Jaejoong’s hairs, staring deeply into his eyes.

“But the twins’ birthday party? It’s on-”

“On Saturday…we’ll be back before the party…” Yunho cut him off.

“I just can’t let Junsu handle everything…and Changminnie, he-”

“He’ll turn mad…yes…but not this time…both of them were the one who persuaded me to bring you on a trip…we need this…” Yunho tipped up Jaejoong’s face, cupping it with his hands.

“You need this…” Yunho then moved his lips gently over Jaejoong’s swollen one, awarding him with another one brief kiss.

*******

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