It has been two days after the call, and two days since I left my room.

Yes people I haven’t left my room after the call and after the cold - shoulder the other four members were giving me.

Sometimes I would hear Jiyong calling for me to eat, and Youngbae saying sorry sometimes, with the other members too.

I wanted to say something to them but nothing came out from my mouth, When I hear a sorry, I open my mouth but, no words came out.

Every midnight I would secretly go out from my room and go eat something. I’m really bothered by the call, but not anymore by them.

It seems like he would just pop out of nowhere, like he is just going to come here like nothing happened.

I don’t want history to repeat itself, since it took me a while to ease my pain. I really loved him that time, but now it’s different.

I remembered the times we went to go visit my parents, watch some movies, go to the amusement park, cracking jokes and—

A tear escaped my eye, I didn’t bother to wipe it. I just let it freely flow down my cheeks.

“I need some fresh air.” I got up from my bed, and got my jacket hanging inside my closet.

Since it was nearly midnight, and I’m not hungry. I decided to just get some fresh air.

I opened my door slowly, not making a sound.

*Perfect*

I opened my front door and went outside of my house, to the playground. Every foot step that I make, it just brought back memories. Every laugh, every smile, every jokes that I made with him.

At last I arrived at the playground, where ‘he’ last brought me. I sat on one of the swings, and just played a little.

I looked up at the moon and the stars. I chuckled.

“I remembered all the things you said to me, right here in this playground.” I thought back to the memories we had.

“I’m sorry Ms. Park but, there is nothing we could do. Your father has a heart disease. It means, the pumping of the heart is weak, that is why the heart cannot deliver oxygen and nutrients to different parts of his body. I’m sorry Ms. Park.” The doctor bowed before returning to help other sick people.

While me, my mom, my brother were all devastated by the news, heart breaking new.

I hear my brother’s and mother’s cry behind me. While me, I stayed strong. I needed to stay strong for my little brother and my mom. I need to be strong for this family.

I wanted to cry too, but I remembered my father’s last words.

“Stay strong Dara for your mother and Cheondung Dara, I love you all very much. Remember that,”

I paid for the bills and went to get ready for the funeral. I helped my brother and my mother out of the hospital, since they were still crying.

I immediately brought my brother and mother home. Can you believe that I’m just 16 years old that time? And I still didn’t have a driver’s license.

I saw my brother a sleep from all the crying. My mother was about to carry him, but I assured her that I could do it and told her to rest.

She thanked me and went to her room first. I looked at the sleeping Cheondung, but carefully carried him.

“What did you eat?” I carried him in struggle, sweats dripping down my face already.

“It’s okay noona, I could walk.” Cheondung hopped down from my hands. He was about to go inside his room but he ran back to me and hugged me. Of course I hugged him too.

“Saranghaeyo noona,” He whispered and went back to his room to sleep.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I really wanted to cry. I ran outside my house, following where ever my feet is taking me.

I arrived in a playground. I sat on one of the swings, it was already 8 pm, and I didn’t bother to eat dinner.

“Appa, why didn’t you tell us that you have a heart disease? It would be better if you told us so we could cure it! Why Appa?! Why are you doing this to us?!” I screamed some more till my throat was nearly dry.

“Dara don’t cry!” I heard a voice, proba