♔ Pabo Review ♔

Counting The Days Spent With You by GraceHlui (Reviewer: Katakatica )

♔ Title 5/5
I like the title, it really suits the story, and it makes the reader curious about it.

♔Description & Foreword 7/10
I like how you named the characters and described them in the description.
BUT your description was sort of misleading. I swear I thought that the story was going to start with her learning that she's sick, not her being dead already... But it's not a big problem-
However, you had some minor mistakes like:
'her entire world went upside down' - it should be something like 'turned' upside down, since something can go wrong, and turn upside down, not go upside down. To me, it just doesn't make sense.
or:
'what she meets an unexpected person..' what IF she meets an unexpected person on her way, I think you just forgot to add 'if'.
All in all, the description is nice, though I'm not sure that you should have used so bright colors. Only 'cause of the sad theme of the story. But it's nice, and that's what matters.

♔Plot 15/20
You're still early in the story, and the plot hadn't really advanced too much yet, but I like it. It's said and everything, but it's not bad.

♔Characters 15/20
The description tells the reader almost everything about the characters, which is great. Of course, since it's only 3 chapter long for now, I can't say that I know a lot about them from the story itself, but I'm sure that this will change as the chapters progress.

♔Originality 13/15
Normally, I would say that a story bout a dying girl finding love is cliche. But, what made this story original was how it started - with EunRi being dead. There had been some stories like this before, but it's not as common as the 'dying girl finds her love and dies' plot (which this will turn into after some time, I guess, but still. The beginning made me like the story). So it made it interesting for me.

♔Flow 13/ 15
The flow seems good from what's already written. No too slow or fast. BUT there's a thing I couldn't decide wether to put to grammar and or flow, but I decided to put it here, cause it kind of makes reading the fic harder.
You put some of the actions into the story like this :
dramatic wind sound whoosh whoos*
or: *he smirks*
The first shouldn't even be there, only if the purpose was to make the whole story 'lighter'. To me, it broke the tension a bit.
And also, using actions like this is like you're roleplaying. In stories it 'breaks' the moment, and the tense, since it had been written in past, but 'he smirks' was in present.

♔Grammar /Spelling/Vocabulary 4/5
As I've pointed out before, there were quite a few problems with your grammar. But it didn't make reading the story too hard. I didn't find spelling mistakes, so it's great. Your vocab was all right :D

♔Overall Enjoyment 8/ 10
I actually don't know. To tell the truth, maybe because of it's shortness, the story didn't really make me emotional or want to cry. But it might be because I'm a heartless reader/writer. It wasn't bad though, not at all. It was a good read, just short. Once you're finished, I'm sure that I'll read it and I'll enjoy it even more;)

♔Total: 80/100

♔Reviewer’s Note & Tips:
I think you should re-read and correct your minor mistakes, and do something with writing actions like this *eats*.

__Owner's Note; Pab0Panda

Thank you for requesting and sorry for let you wait so long. Please don't forget to credit and comment after picking up.

If you want a redo, pm me, but don't forget to meantion the reason.

If you have anyquestion, pm me or Katy.