[Review] Calling almightyYimmie
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Bound by Strings by almightyYimmie (Reviewer SuperJunior143)
♔Title 5/5
Really goes with the story about strings connecting one to another
♔Description & Foreword 8/10
I guess you need a little more description about the strings. I didn’t get what you meant about the strings until chapter 1.
♔Plot 18/20
It’s wonderful! You left some details about Key and I understood his background/past. But, I still don’t understand why Key’s mother thinks Key’s a pain. Also I don’t really know what the Yellow strings and Orange strings were… It was a bit confusing but I got the Green strings!
♔Characters 17/20
The personalities of each and every one of the characters are great! Key’s diva attitude, Jonghyun’s playboy attitude, Donghae’s really cute, Taecyeon is like a person you can trust… Awesome! But you should say that the characters are ‘Key, Jonghyun, Minho, SHINee, and other Kpop idols’ instead of ‘Key, other Kpop idols (probably)’
You are going to use other characters from other bands. And the other main characters are Minho and Jonghyun, am I correct?
♔Originality 14/15
It’s very creative and I’ve never read a fanfic, or a story, or a book about strings… But I have heard of the red string, not the green or orange. It went a little too fast when the homeless guy wants Key’s money and then Minho rescues him.
♔Flow 15/15
The flow was easy to follow. Again, you left a lot of really good details into the fanfic and it’s truly amazing.
♔Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary 1/5
You have a few grammar mistakes and I’m thinking you should press the ‘enter’ button on the laptop/or computer when another person is talking or if people are thinking. Like if Key is talking, press enter when Jonghyun is talking nest after Key instead of being squished together. For example:
“Are you ok?” He stepped over the body in order to reach me.
“Is he dead?” I asked, eying the body on the ground, completely…
The one above is correct instead of this:
“Are you ok?” He stepped over the body in order to reach me. “Is he dead?” I asked, eying the body on the ground, completely…
So you get what I mean? It’s kind of hard to explain but I’m just telling you so you can improve your writing. But that’s good that you told me that English isn’t your first language so don’t get frustrated about this. Anyway you’re learning other languages! That’s good.
♔Overall Enjoyment 10/10:
I REALLY enjoyed SHINee soo much! It’s wonderful.
♔Total 88/100
Awesome dear! The story is really terrific!
♔Reviewer’s Notes & Tips:
Keep working on your English and the conversation paragraphs! You’ll get better at it! I’m sure of it! Start a conversation on a new line! The story is so fantastic! It’s sooo amazing!
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