♔ Pabo Review ♔

Women Are From Venus and Men Are From Hell by Renren96 (Reviewed by KatyMikayla)

• ♔ Title 4.9/5
  • It’s a little long but it does introduce the story well.
• ♔Description & Foreword 8/10
  • I really don’t think you did justice to your story with your foreword. You forgot to mention the deep connection that the OC has with Seunghyun… :\ which is very important. If you just rewrote it, it would become more attractive, and thus yield in more readers :D
• ♔Plot 19/20
  • It’s so good :) oh my Shisus… it kept me on my toes and I was like dying to know what would happen next! Great job!
• ♔Characters 19.5/20
  • Seunghyun…oh Seunghyun, why are you such a confused moron? xD I liked how you showed his conflicting sides.
  • Eunae… she’s too loving for her own good. But I’m glad that she’s finally “waking up.”
  • Joon. I haven’t got to know him yet, so I knocked off half a point. It’s just weird to me that someone would actually “care,” you know?
• ♔Originality 14/15
  • I haven’t read a story like this on AFF, but I know that this happens a lot in real life. I really liked how you make the story your own though, combining elements from all different kinds of stories to create this one <3 good job hun <3
• ♔Flow 14.5/ 15
  • It flowed very well, though the mall scene was just a little awkward. I mean like it didn’t seem right… does that make sense? It’s like looking at a collection of BigBang CDs and finding EXO in there.
• ♔Grammar /Spelling/Vocabulary 4/5
  • I just italicized and made my corrections in red :D
  • Chapter 6
    • "I-I..was out..-" I tried to stutter out; sounding calm as possible, only to fail. The semi-colon here is unnecessary because you don’t have 2 complete sentences. I would suggest you write that as
      • "I-I..was out..-" I stuttered/stammer, trying sounding calm as possible, but failing terribly or something like that.
    • in comprehensible= incomprehensible
    • Also when you finish your “dialogue” you should make a new paragraph like this:
      • "Please Seunghyun!!! Stop it!!" I hollered as I shook my head in rage and hurt.
      • But, the noise only increased, rattling the whole room. He hollered in comprehensible words, over and over. It was like he was turning into an enraged animal who had been betrayed...afterall, he did think I had betrayed him..
• an wrapped a scarf around my bruised neck.  You forgot the “d” in and xD
• I was used to being only out her for specific reasons and yet, this time I wasn't. You forgot the “e” in here.
• Chapter 8
  • Joon already new the circumstances= Joon already knew the circumstances
  • There are more tiny errors, but you can easily fix them by rereading :)
• But overall, your grammar and spelling was very well done! Just remember to always make a new paragraph when your characters are done speaking! Really, most of your errors were just minor errors that almost everyone makes xD Just remember to reread what you’ve written.
• ♔Overall Enjoyment 10/ 10
  • I loved this story! I told you that I’d totally read and love it! <3
• ♔Total: /100
  • 93.9! <3 WELL DONE!
• ♔Reviewer’s Note & Tips:
• Just read my comments from above, and you’ll have a perfect story<3 Well done sweetie <3

__Owner's Note; Pab0Panda

Thank you for requesting and sorry for let you wait so long. Please don't forget to credit and comment after picking up.

If you want a redo, pm me, but don't forget to meantion the reason.

If you have anyquestion, pm me or Katy.