♔ Pabo Review ♔

My KPOP Idols are Wizards

Reviewed by KatyMikayla

• ♔ Title 5/5
  • Your title is very interesting and caught my attention right away.
• ♔Description & Foreword 7/10
  • I like how you took an expert from the story and pasted it into your foreword. The only thing I suggest you do is to leave all the author notes at the end; that way, it’ll flow better. But it really caught my attention :D You just really need to work on grammar. That’s what’s really bringing you down.
• ♔Plot 18/20
  • There are so really confusing plot twists in here, but for the most part, I got it.
• ♔Characters 17/20
  • They were cute, and Ukiss-y so we’re good. The one thing I didn’t like about it was that Hyemin was so perfect… >.< And I kind of feel like your characters are a little off, like their personality changes a lot.
• ♔Originality 11/15
  • Since it was based off of Harry Potter… there were some things that just seemed “copied,” like spells, dragons, potions, stuff like that.
• ♔Flow 11/ 15
  • The last chp (16?) really confused me, but the rest was good. I feel like you’re just not being as clear as you can be.
• ♔Grammar /Spelling/Vocabulary 1/5
  • I’m sorry, but your grammar is all over the place. You have punctuation errors everywhere and there were a lot of places where you used the wrong tense of the verb(s).
  • Examples:
    • I hummed the tune of UKISS' Doradora as I make my way to the free concert of UKISS, my ultimate Idol. I'm going to meet them personally! Yay! Eli oppa, I'm coming!
    • Should be something on the lines of: UKISS, my favorite band, was having a free concert today and I could go! As I made my way to the concert, I hummed UKISS’s latest single, Doradora, totally psyched to be finally able to meet my biases. Eli Oppa, I’m coming!
    • "UKISS DAEBAK!
    • You need a verb there. Daebak literally means jackpot or best…
    • As I merge down to the see of people, I felt my cell phone vibrating. It's a call from my manager. "Hello?"
    • Sea of people; I felt my cell phone vibrate; my manger was calling. Start the conversation on a new line.
    • There are more mistakes that I’m not going to point out, but you need to get someone to beta this. It’s a really interesting story; your grammar is just killing it.
    • BUT the good thing is that you actually told me that English isn’t your first language… don’t stress too much about this then. Shisus… I kind of wished you told me this earlier so that I didn’t have to yell at you like this.
• ♔Overall Enjoyment 7/ 10
  • It was good. I liked it :)
• ♔Total: 77/100
  • GOOD JOB HUN! I’d say this is freaking amazing.
• ♔Reviewer’s Note & Tips:
  • Keep workin’ on your English!  You’ll get better, promise
  • Get someone who is a native English speaker to beta this. This story is really good.

__Owner's Note; Pab0Panda

Thank you for requesting. Please don't forget to credit and comment after picking up.

If you have anyquestion, pm me or Katy.