♔ Pabo Review ♔

♔ Title: 4/5
-I liked the fact that the title didn't give away the entire story. It was kept fairly simply, and it fit the personality of the main character. It being a girl who has been shunned by the people around her, and labeled as an outcast.

♔Description & Foreword: 6.5/10
-Although decently written, there were a few grammatical errors and mistakes in punctuation. There were also many run-ons that I couldn't really over look. Both the description and foreword could have been revised to have a better flow as well.

♔Plot: 12/20
-Despite it being fairly early in the story, I was able to get a gist of the basic plot. There is a girl who considered an outcast or abandoned etc., and then someone comes along to save her, change her life, or something to that extent. This type of plot is fairly common in fanfiction, basically paralleling a sort of damsel in distress type of thing.

♔Characters: 15/20
-In most fanfiction nowadays, the main character who's endured any type of hardship, the main character is always unrealisitically happy and optimistic. Regardless of the severity of the conflicts, they always managed to stay bubbly and upbeat, even if say the parents died or something. What I like about this OC is that you had taken her abandonment and the fact that she was shunned into consideration when forming her personality. I thought the portrayal of her behavior and emotions was fairly well done.

♔Originality: 10/15
-Though the plot isn't entirely original, I have to give some points for using a supernatural twist instead of using a typical gang concept.

♔Flow: 12/15
The paragraphs were decently written, but in the second chapter, a majority of the paragraphs were a bit too short. They lacked description, and consisted of only 3-4 sentences. Paragraphs are usually made up of 6-8 sentences.

♔Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary: 4/5

♔Overall Enjoyment: 6/10
This is from a personal opinion. Though my score is fairly low, that shouldn't deter anyone else from reading it. The plot just didn't appeal to me, and I've never really been one for fantasy/supernatural stories. With that said, I still think you should at least give it a skim. Who knows, you might find it to your own liking.

♔Total: 70/100 (rounded scored)

♔Reviewer’s Note & Tips:
-I think you have a lot of potential as a writer, so my only advice to you is to just keep practicing. Maybe study others' writing styles a bit, just to get an idea of things. Never copy someone else's style, but you can use theirs as an example to help develop your own.
-When writing one-shots or fics along those lines, it's extremely important to plan out every detail. This is so that you don't end up turning what was supposed to be a one-shot, into a ten chapter story. For example, in "Unloved," you didn't really explain the relationship between Kyung and Nunsongi. It made me question how does he know? How did they meet? Things like that, etc.
-Looking into getting a beta reader might be in your best interest as of right now. A beta reader is somewhat similar to a... I guess you could say editor. They review your story before it is posted, and then give you feedback and point out what should be fixed, etc. If you do decide to get one, make sure they're qualified and won't just tell you what you want ot hear.

__Owner's Note; Pab0Panda

Thank you for requesting and sorry for let you wait so long. Please don't forget to credit and comment after picking up.

If you want a redo, pm me, but don't forget to meantion the reason.

If you have anyquestion, pm me or Katy.