[Review] Calling LieszLuminat
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My Own Coordi
Reviewed By KatyMikayla
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♔ Title 3/5
- From what I’ve read so far, this story has nothing to do with your title… o.O Maybe I’m taking this the wrong way, but aren’t coordis the people who take care of you on stage and are basically like your manager, but a girl version? I’m confused… I think that “Kim Kibum: Diva, Fashionista, a member of SHINee and… my Boyfriend?!” would fit better, or whatever :P
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♔Description & Foreword 10/10
- I liked the description; it was interesting and it got my attention :)
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♔Plot 15/20
- The plot was pretty interesting and I liked it. The only thing that I didn’t like about it was how cliché some parts were. I feel like most fanfics today are about “surprise” meetings with bias and someone celebrates a birthday. But overall, it was pretty dang interesting, esp. the plot twist with the best friend and Jonghyun’s rage at the amusement park :D
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♔Characters 15/20
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Main character (the YOU)
- I thought she was a little cliché, but she does have an interesting personality.
- THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING HER PERFECT!!!!!!!! You have no idea how much it annoys me when girls are so beautiful and so perfect and EVERY BOY around town is in love with her… >.<
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Main character (the YOU)
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♔Originality 10/15
- Running into stars these is pretty common in fanfics, but I liked the unusual circumstances that the characters undergo.
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♔Flow 10/ 15
- At the beginning, the story was just a little too fast and confusing, but overall, the story flowed well, and I could understand everything.
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♔Grammar /Spelling/Vocabulary 4/5
- Grammar: I think it’ll be best if you made everything in the past tense.
- Spelling: didn’t notice any errors
- Vocab: it’s good enough :)
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♔Overall Enjoyment 7/ 10
- It was well written but I think that if you end every chapter with a cliffhanger, it’ll be a lot more attention grabbing
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♔Total: 74/100
- :) Well done sweetie <3 It was great! <3 Keep writing and you’ll do so much better! I hope I didn’t offend you. If you don’t think this review was fair, pm me and we can talk it out :)
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♔Reviewer’s Note & Tips:
- Not everyone understands Korean. Why don’t you like make a list of the uncommon words/phrases that you used at the bottom of the page in the Author’s Note? It’s only a suggestion though
- PLEASE make it a new line when different people are talking. It gets really confusing and annoying (which you don’t want) when you don’t.
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Ex: Chapter 6
- “____, what do you want to do today?” Key asks you.
- “I’m supposed to meet my friend, remember?” you say.
- “Ah, that’s right. You never answered my question. Can I come?” he asks you.
- “I’ll ask my friend.”
- You take out your mobile and send a text. However, you don’t get a reply, so when it’s time to go you decide to just bring Key. If he isn’t welcome he could go shopping or so anyway.
Does that help? :P
__Owner's Note; Pab0Panda
Thank you for requesting. Please don't forget to credit and comment after picking up.
If you have anyquestion, pm me or Katy.
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