Bang Yong Guk’s P.O.V.

We had gathered in my apartment. We hadn’t seen each other in what seemed like forever. Sure, I had seen Himchan just a couple days before, but it was like he’d been awful busy lately. Young Jae, on the other hand… I hadn’t seen him since the wedding a few weeks ago. Still, the apartment was silent. None of us said anything and it was the strangest feeling and situation.

     Himchan and Young Jae sat on the couch and I stood by the window, all of us not really noticing the awkward silence. But, unlike the others, I at least had the strength and willpower to leave my troubled mind to look at them. I’d been missing these kinds of occasions, but this was so different and not what I wanted.

     “So…” I said and broke the ice. “How’s the married life treating ya, Jae?” A boring question, but I really wanted to know how he was doing. He looked incredible uncomfortable and like something was really bothering him. He didn’t seem to hear me, just kept sitting on the couch with his eyes staring at the turn-offed TV. I sighed and looked at Himchan. He was biting his thumbnail in frustration, looking the other way. Still I saw how thoughts were running through his mind by the look on his face. They sure both were troubled by something. And they weren’t the only ones.

     I’d almost crapped my pants, never been so scared my whole life. Idiotic really, staring at the blonde boy, not sure if I was just dreaming. No, it couldn’t have been a dream… could it? I was losing my mind!

     He’d looked different that night. His clothes… so dark and sleek… But, also his face and behavior. He’d been cool and somehow more confident and ignorant than I was. Where was the cute face, the adorable blonde curly hair, the innocent distant look in his eyes? Had it all been something I’d just imagined? Well… you know what I mean. Was this how he really and truly was?  

     At first I’d tried to maintain a straight face, feeling happy about being back at that club. I had great memories from that place, but that was a long time ago… But when I was introduced to the boy, I’d completely lost it. It’d been so embarrassing I could die. He’d looked at me – looked straight into my eyes with a cheeky look on his face. I would’ve grabbed him by the collar of his black shirt, telling him to stop being such a brat, threatening him, but I couldn’t do that… not to him. He’d been looking down at me as my self-esteem had slowly broken into pieces and faded into nothing, and then thrown me away when I didn’t seem to entertain him anymore. Was I hurt? … What, no! I was just… wondering. I was confused, okay? He’d been so different and… tall. He was almost taller than me, but seemed to be much younger, what the hell? And the way he’d been acting at that club – like he owned everything. Bossing me around, yelling at me. It pissed me off. What’ve you done to the old Yong Guk? Why are you so scared of that kid? Huh?

     But, I’d survived all of that – that wasn’t the most horrifying that had happened that night… The back of my shoulder still burned, his handprint seared into my skin. He’d touched me, padding my back and walked away. I’d let out the breath that I’d been holding the whole time, my eyes flickering across the floor. It hadn’t been a dream; he was real, seeing me, talking to me.

     “I… have to go,” Himchan said, getting off the couch.

     “O-oh,” I blinked a couple of time, returning to the apartment, leaving my frustrating thoughts. “Okay,” I cleared my throat, shaking my head a little before following him to the door. He didn’t say anything, just nodding at me as he disappeared through the door, his eyes on his feet.

     I closed the door behind him and turned around. “What the hell is this?” I muttered, putting my face in my hands, closing my eyes while leaning my back against the closed door. I was not like this, not at all. Who was I? What had happened to the old me? I wanted him back so bad – the cool, relaxed and confident Yong Guk. It was that stupid, cheeky boy’s fault. What the hell had he done to me? I was such a coward, scared, confused and lightheaded. I couldn’t stand it anymore!

     “I think I better leave too, hyung,” Young Jae said, and I looked up at him, his voice making me jump a little in surprise.

     “Sure, okay,” I said, nodding. And before I’d had the chance to rethink it all again, he was out the door, the silence in the apartment creeping up on me.  

     I exhaled, storming into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror, seeing my frustrated reflection staring back at me. “YA! What are you doing!?” I screamed at the mirror, knocking everything on the table in front of me down, frowning as it all dropped to the floor around me. I clenched my fists, not sure who I was actually talking to. Myself? Or him? What’d he said? Zelo? What a name, I snorted.

     “Ya, you! Yeah, you! You… Zelo! Whatcha doing, huh? Huh!?” I said, pointing at the mirror. “You think you’re tough? Ya, back off, let me breathe, gimme a little space, okay? You don’t wanna?” I exhaled and shrugged, looking away, before looking up at the mirror again, smirking. “So… whatcha gonna do about it?” I asked, staring. The smirk disappeared and I sighed, turning around. “No, no, no… It’s not working…” I put a hand on my head, pulling my hair, making a face in frustration. “ it!” I jogged into the bedroom, aiming for my closet. I opened it and found a reasonable outfit. Dark, denim jeans and a loose, black T-shirt without sleeves. I quickly changed, jogging to the bathroom again to fix my hair – with hair gel on my hands, I pushed it back and up while biting my bottom lip in concentration. I found my black Converse, put them on and ran out the door.     

I tiptoed into the club, keeping my head down. The music was loud, the lights bright and flickering – the room filled with people. Just like the night before, and I bumped into a few of them, apologizing as I looked at the floor. I made my way to the bar, putting my hands on the desk and exhaled. My eyes flickered around the big room, scanning it. Everybody had their heads turned to the center of the dance floor, cheering and yelling, making the loud music almost impossible to hear. I frowned, confused about what was happening.

     “It’s a dance battle,” a voice said beside me, answering my question. I flinched and turned to look at the woman. She was leaning towards me over the table, almost lying on it, staring me down with seductive eyes. “You dance?” She asked, biting her lip.

     “Uhm, no,” I said, looking away from her, down on the dance floor again. There were so many people; it was impossible to spot the blonde head. He had to be there, there was no other way. 

     “Oh, so what do you do?” The woman asked, and I felt her hand on my bare arm.

     I ignored it, my eyes and mind busy. “I rap,” I said.

     “Woah, that’s so cool,” she moved closer to me, her hand sliding up my arm to rest on my shoulder.

     “I guess,” I answered, not really noticing her. Why wasn’t I able to see him? Where was he? “Where are you?” I muttered, frustrated.

     “Looking for someone?” She asked, her lips caressing my neck. Her breath stank of alcohol, and her lipstick felt sticky and disgusting against my skin.   

     I frowned, pushing her off me. “Yeah... Uhm, Zelo. You know him?”

     She sighed. “I know him,” she said in a displeased voice, moving just a tad away from me, but still hovered.  

     I nodded, my eyes still scanning the room. “Really? You know where he is?”

     “Down there,” she answered, and I finally looked at her to see her pointing down towards the dance floor. Yeah, thanks a lot. “In the middle,” she then said, and my head snapped. I glimpsed two figures in the middle of the dance floor, facing each other. One of them gently pushed the other and then started dancing – freestyle. It was too dark; I got on my toes and focused, catching a glimpse of some blonde curls.

     “Ya, where are you going?” She yelled as I walked towards the dance floor, getting closer. I didn’t answer, ignoring and determined walking. I politely pushed a few people to the side, making my way closer to the center of the dance floor.

    “Now, Zelo, I will make you pay, you thief,” I mumbled, but then gasped and stopped. There was a few heads in front of me, but still, I saw him. He was dancing; the blonde curls bouncing on his head, a serious expression on his face. He was wearing a purple scarf, little black earrings in his ears, a grey sweatshirt and jeans. So casual, but still so cool. He finished off, making the crowd cheer as he pointed at his opponent. The other guy started dancing, I guess it was kinda cool. But, my eyes kept staring at the blonde boy – I was furious. 

     Ya, thief. You tricked me, put a spell on me! You really are something, huh? Now, give me back my old self. My coolness, my confidence, my image. You stole it, you brat! My focus, my attention, my heart… Wait, what?

Hey! Quick update~
Sorry, I’m soooooo not satisfied with this chapter, but I’ve been kinda busy lately – but! I will do better next time (all those promises, huh? Now, try to fulfill them), so please, go easy on me this time~
Donotfear will update soon, please stay tuned~! :D