Zelo’s P.O.V.

The red light talked to me. 01.06.

     I looked again. 01.17.

     It was 01.31 when he disappeared from my mind for a short amount of time. That was until I turned my head and looked into the bare, white wall. A silhouette of him would slowly form itself of the light from the clock.

     I imagined him walking towards me, but as soon as he came closer to me, he left the wall and he was gone.

     Get back. Get back! I forced his shadow back to the wall and admired it once more; Observed every blurred detail that I created in my mind.

     Pull yourself together or go find him! This was not my own voice speaking in my head. It must have been my sense in someway... Or was it my sensibility speaking? Nevertheless, I acted quickly and threw my legs over the edge of the bed, before I could change my mind. It wouldn’t help me to just stay in the bed, anyway.

     My hand reached out to turn on the bedside lamp, whereupon my body got up in some sort of trance. My feet took me to the mirror in the other end of the room. I slowly turned to the wall behind the mirror.

     “Where did you go?” My voice whispered vaguely; my hand padding lightly on the bare wall that was now free of all kinds of shadows.

     I turned back to mirror and stared blankly at myself.

     “Where did you go?”

     My eyes were bigger than usual from the staring; softly pink from the lack of sleep, the thoughts running through my head, and my restlessness. If only I could... I couldn’t disobey my mother. I didn’t want to. But on the flipside, I couldn’t walk around like this either.

     The little sense of joy, which I thought was long gone, suddenly appeared before my eyes, depicted as a little cat with a huge grin on its face. Somewhat taunting. Like the one from Alice in Wonderland. It looked at me as I went to my dresser to find something more decent to wear.

     I only pulled myself enough together to put on a t-shirt without even bothering to thinking of a jacket or so. Only clad in jeans and the t-shirt, I creaked the door open and went straight for the front door. As I passed the bedroom door, the only thing that indicated that I wouldn’t get caught was the vague snoring of my mother. My father was not home, and neither was my sister, anyway, so I succeeded the first step: the escape.

The wind stubbornly tried to trip me up but disappeared and hid itself behind the building of the club.

     “Wauw, we haven’t seen you for a while!” One of the doormen said as I went straight through the door, and he continued with his voice disappearing behind me, “A new battle coming up? It’s good to have you back!”

     Everything was the same old same old; people took a couple of steps back as I passed them. Nothing had changed. Only me and my condition, I guess. Where is he? My tired eyes blurred my vision, and the flashing lights didn’t help me looking for him either.

     “He-he-heey! Jun Hong-ah, my man!”

     My feet had led me to the bar where my favourite bartender was having a good time serving the ladies as usual.

     “How are you? Where ha-“

     “Have you seen him?” I quickly interrupted. I didn’t really feel like chit chatting, obviously.

     He looked at me in confusion and furrowed his eyebrows. “W-who?”

     “The rapper. Bang Yong Guk.”

     “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I have?” He shrugged his shoulders and went back to his demanding ladies at the bar counter.

I sat there for something that felt like ages before the bartender pulled me back to reality.

     “Psst! The rapper... What is up with you and him? I thought you never liked that guy.”

     “Nothing. I just wanted to see if he still came around here.” I knew that this wasn’t completely the truth, but it seemed to work as a good excuse to the bartender.

     “You sure? In that case... Isn’t it that guy over there?” He pointed to a table where two shapes were sitting. Aigoo, why is Himchan always there? Without thanking the bartender, I walked towards them, but as I got closer, I could see that something was not right. That is not Himchan, is it? No... It can’t be him with Yong Guk. It is-“

     “-a girl.” My feet stopped. My heart stopped and sank. I gulped as I saw the stranger’s fingers caress Yong Guk’s cheek and one hand. If I was at my own self, I would’ve spun around and walked away before it was too late, but my body didn’t let me. Instead I just watched Bang Yong Guk put his arm around the girl and walk away with her.

     Pabo! Are you happy now?

     “You were the one who told me to go find him!” I hissed back at the voice resulting in a few persons looking strangely at me.

      - OR pull yourself together, it pointed out. Now go home. He doesn’t want you anyway.”

     “He cares about me! He even kissed me!”

     And did you like it? Do you wish for him to do it again?  I shook my head in response. No? Then why are you acting like this, huh?

      “It is nothing like that!” My voice went loud, but I hurried away before anyone noticed that I was talking to myself. Outside of the club I could just make out Bang Yong Guk and his girl in the distance, heading in the direction of his apartment.

     Pabo, you shouldn’t be following them. This time, it was my own voice talking – but I followed them anyway. Something inside of me wanted to prevent him from taking that girl with him home; something inside me that I had never felt and I couldn’t identify.

     Her high pitched ‘oh-I’m-so-cute’-laughter annoyed me beyond description, and so did her beauty. Her long wavy hair and her long, skinny legs amazed me, even though I knew her legs only seemed long because of the high heels and short dress.

     I automatically tip-toed up the stairs to the apartment behind them. This is when I expected -or at least I hoped- that he would say goodbye to her for some reason... He just didn’t. He unlocked the door, and made a polite gesture to let her in. Before I knew it, I was standing right beside him, pulling one of the sleeves of his shirt.

     “Hyung~... Hyung!”

     His eyes widened; the fear that appeared in his eyes was a rare occupation, but it showed a little. The girly voice came closer to the door.

     “Ya. Do you know him? Tsh.” She rolled her eyes and looked at me as if she was trying to burn my little, innocent soul.

     “I-I ... He uhmm... He is just someone from the family.”

     By now, my heart had already sunk a long time ago. In fact, it felt like it was missing; I could only feel some sort of pain that it had left behind. I felt the pressure behind my eyes, a couple of tears trying to get out.

     Without thinking, I pushed the girl aside and ran to his bedroom. I jumped under the covers and hid my face in his pillow. His scent surrounded me and made me dizzy. The voices of Bang Yong Guk and the girl became a distant mumble and went on for quite some time, the girl’s voice raised once in a while, before the front door finally slammed shut.

     Gaah, the sound of his footsteps... This sound either meant that I was in trouble or that ... maybe he would sleep in here for just once. His pose in the door stopped me from daydreaming, but the hope never stopped.

     That was until he switched off the light, went out in the hallway and closed the door behind him. Not long after, he also switched off the light in the hallway, leaving the bedroom completely black. I tried to look around, desperately trying to find my way down the bed and to the door, but I could barely even make my body move. Instead it chose to curl up on his bed, whereupon little teardrops ran down my cheeks hidden in the dark.

I have been extremely busy with school lately, and I still am.
Sorry for updating about one and a half day after we had originally planned, but I have to do my schoolwork whether I want to or not.
In advance, sorry if I am delayed in future, but frankly, I am doing my best to keep up.
I hope you are understandable with the situation. Thank you~
,- Donotfear