Bang Yong Guk’s P.O.V.

I took a deep breath, carefully peeking out the window with a frown on my face.

     “YOU!” They both loudly exclaimed, staring at each other. I groaned, scratching the back of my head.

     “Ya, Junhong…” I shoved my hands down the pockets of my jeans, glancing down at him and the stranger. They seemed to know each other, Junhong accepting his hand as he reached down for him. “Get off the ground…” I mumbled and groaned once again, staring at their touching hands as the stranger pulled him up on his feet. “What are you–“ I sighed, watching him bow at the stranger.

     Someone’s at the door… I’ll get it!

     I exhaled, frowning a little. “You’re making too much out of this…” I told myself in a whisper, standing in the window like some old, angry ahjussi looking down at the bullies outside his window.    

     Well, hello! I don’t think we’ve met! I’m that little voice inside Bang Yong Guk’s head, how’s it going? Over here we’ve got some of Yong Guk’s closest friends, Anger, Fury, Rage, Irritation and Annoyance, what’s your name?

     “Shut. Up,” I hissed, noticing the nasty grin on the stranger’s face. “What the hell? Why are you–” Junhong handed him the bag of candy he’d brought. Brought for me. “YA!”

     Envy, huh? You don’t say… Hm, what’s that again? You’ve got a nickname?

     “You little brat…” I groaned, watching as they munched on my candy.

     Ya, Bang Yong Guk! We’ve got a visitor! You can call him Jealousy!

     I flinched, shaking my head. “I’m n-not jealous?”

     Oh, really? Let’s play a game then…

     “A-a game?” I stuttered with my eyes glued to the two people sharing my candy. “W-what kind of game?”

     Okay, think of it like this, yeah? Junhong is smiling and laughing, you like that, right?

     “W-well…” I trailed off, silently nodding a little, clearing my throat. “Of course, I do… I want him to be happy…” I mumbled.

     I see, I see… Now, Junhong is happy and all that, yeah? You’re bumping into each other on the street. He’s happy and asks you how you’ve been.

     “We haven’t seen each other for a while?” I asked, somehow accepting the scenario playing out in my head.

      Well, no. You’re not together anymore, the voice explained making me frown. The fact that we weren’t together anymore hurt like hell, something twisting and turning in my chest. But, on the other hand, I knew that we’d never really been together. I was fine with the idea of Junhong just being around to let me entertain him, still I felt damaged when it was all over – broken in many different ways. I’d predicted him to leave me whenever he turned bored of me, but there I was, ignoring and pushing him away from me, afraid that he would be the one ending up being hurt the most. But why would he? He didn’t care about me anyway… It was the best thing to do.

     Anyway! He’s asking you how you’ve been, introducing you to the person standing next to him.

     I gasped, grabbing unto the window frame. “Who is it!?”

      Woah, calm down! Jeez… It’s his new boyfriend, okay? He likes him and he’s very happy – just like you wanted.

      “You can’t do that,” I exclaimed, my hands suddenly slippery against the wood, sweaty and shaking by the sight of the scene behind my eyes.

     I made up the game, I make the rules, dude. He’s got a new boyfriend, done deal!

     I groaned, moving a little uncomfortable around in front of the window. “Continue.”

     You shake hands and you look at his face. It’s that kid standing down there. Now… How do you feel?

     I couldn’t deny the fact that it hurt, the twisting sensation in my chest starting to burn a little. “J-Junhong is not gay,” I stuttered, trying to find some excuse for the situation in my head to be completely unrealistic and ridiculous. 

     The voice laughed, making me flinch. You did not just say that!

     “What do you mean, I–“

     Is this not gay to you? The voice said, letting moving pictures of him and I on the bed that night play out before my eyes, Junhong kissing me with a smirk on his pretty face. Seriously? His arms snuck around my waist, pulling me in as he spread butterfly kisses up the back of my neck. His voice called out my name giving me the chills, the clouds from the bed wrapped around his tall figure – I remembered that morning clearly, the activities of the night before still lingering in the air. Even so, he’d seemed to push it away, being all cute and adorable as he begged for food.

     “Well… I guess we were kinda cool,” I muttered, the memories of him hugging and smiling at me rather casual and innocent. “If you just leave out all the…” I gulped, taking a few steps away from the window. His touch was as burned into my skin, stinging whenever I thought back on the fire; Junhong sliding his hands up my chest, his lips caressing my neck, my jawline and finally my own, hungry lips. His fingers had played with the waistband of my boxers, but I’d ignored it, focusing on running my fingers through his hair and down his sides – mainly because I believed that he honestly didn’t have any idea of what he was actually doing, maybe too caught up by the moment to notice his downwards-travelling hands.    

     Dude. He’s leaving.

     I blinked a few times, jerked back into reality where I was completely alone and rather… well, yeah, miserable. “W-who?” I glanced down at the pavement, the stranger waving at Junhong as he left. I couldn’t help but smile a little, watching Junhong twirl around himself a few times, awkward but still cute as hell.

     Don’t let him see you, the voice reminded me in the same moment as Junhong looked up at me in the window. I jumped to the floor, blowing the air out of my lounges, making a face. “Please, you didn’t see me, you didn’t see me…” I mumbled breathless, shutting my eyes, hoping for the best.

     After a minute or two, I let out the breath I was holding, opening my eyes. “You’re such an idiot…”

The club was filled with people I didn’t know. Loud music and flickering light made my head a little dizzy, even so, I made my way to the bar, ordering a beer like I always did. I hadn’t really picked out a victim yet, but I could’ve saved the trouble just thinking about it – a seductive girl immediately hanging on my shoulder, asking if it was my first time there.

     “No, not really…” I shook my head, looking at her face. I guess she was kinda pretty.

     She giggled, scooting a little closer. “You look tough,” she said, her eyes wandering across my figure. “What do you prefer? Cute or y girl?” She winked at me, getting comfortable by my side.

     “Well,” I snorted, looking away from her. I prefer cute Junhong. Can you handle that? I cursed at myself in my head, discreetly exhaling. Tell me again why you are here? Yeah, to forget him, that’s right. Then what the hell is this? “What would you like?”

     She shrugged, smirking at me. “I feel y tonight.”

     I nodded and tried to smile at her. “Sure, okay. Whatever you say, baby,” I cleared my throat, blinking several times as she smiled widely and jumped unto my lap, throwing her arms around my neck.

     “So… You sure you’re a regular? I haven’t seen you around here before,” she said, leaning in a little closer to me.

     I sipped my beer, nodding at her. “I used to perform here,” I explained, watching her eyes widen and her jaw drop.

     “Up there?” She glanced back at the stage, her wavy hair caressing my skin.

     “Yeah,” I put the bottle down on the counter, looking at the impressed look on her face. “Rap.”

     “Oh,” the smirk returned to her lips as she raised one of her eyebrows, suddenly a ‘y girl’. “Of course,” she purred, putting her lips to my ear. “With that voice of yours… I bet you’re fantastic at…” she smirked as I gulped. “Rapping,” she heavily breathed, clearly wanting me to read between the lines. And sure, I got what she meant – the sweat sliding down my back, my palms damp and the blood pumping through my veins.

     “Sure. Would you like to hear?” I asked, wondering if she knew what I really meant.

     “Yeah,” the smirk lingered on her lips as she got off me, taking my hand. “You live close by?”

     “Hyung.”

     I flinched, turning my head with wide eyes. You’re an idiot, you know that? Picking up girls at the same club… Aigoo! I gulped, staring at him as I froze. His brown eyes staring right back cut through me, leaving me breathless and numb. He looked so perfect in the flashing club light, his casual clothes being a mere detail. No! Pull yourself together! You made a promise, remember?

     I cleared my throat, putting on the coldest and meanest look I could manage. “I’m busy,” I spit; my voice rather shaky and I quickly put my arm around the girl’s shoulder, looking down at the ground.

     “You know him?” She asked and I shrugged, pulling her towards the exit.

     “Hyung!” Junhong reached out and grabbed unto my sleeve, the chills running down my spine. “Don’t do it,” he pleaded in a low mutter, his head clearly lowered as his eyes wandered across the floor, just like my own.

     I blinked a few times, taking a deep breath. It’s all for the best. For the best. “Get your hands off me,” I groaned, jerking my arm out of his grip.

     He whimpered, his fingers finding and digging into the fabric of my sleeve again, holding on tight. “No, please…”

     I bit down on my bottom lip, the girl under my arm exhaling a little annoyed. I’m so sorry… Letting go of the girl and in the same movement slapping his hands off me, I turned my gaze to him, trying to hold back – just like I’d done when he’d been knocking on my door earlier that day, calling for me. “Didn’t you hear what I just said?” I groaned, gently pushing his shoulder a little. He fell a few steps back, looking up at the harsh mask I was wearing. His eyes glassy and his cheeks lightening up in a light pink color, he reached out for me, his voice just a whisper.

     “Hyung, I…”

     My stomach turned, my head was spinning and every cell in my body fought back – still, I heard my own fist collide with his cheekbone, seconds later a loud thud and a few gasps. Without thinking or looking down at him, I quickly spun around, grabbed the girl by her wrist and dragged her out of there.

     I-I… I hit him. I hit Junhong, I cried in my head, the voice answering me back with a heavy sigh.

     It was the right thing to do. Maybe he’ll understand now. He won’t come back after this.

Oh, hey guys~
Sorry for the lousy chapter, I hope you can cope with it~ Donotfear will update in two days, stay tuned! :D
-Ayo-