Bang Yong Guk’s P.O.V.

Oh hey, Young Jae… Nice to see ya after such a long time of… you know, not seeing each other. I really missed you, bro. Oh, so you brought your wife? The blonde ? Yeah, here’s the boy I’m in love with. Oh, so you know him? Oooh, he’s your wife’s younger brother. Well, isn’t that a lovely coincidence? I mean, they’re both blonde and I kinda saw him at your wedding, sitting beside what seemed to be her parents… Younger brother? Baby brother? Well, that makes sense. I guess you would’ve noticed it if you weren’t as FREAKIN’ STUPID as I am… Yeah yeah, I’m fine, I’m just having a mental breakdown, it’s nothing! It’s nothing…

     “Ya, come here,” the – no, that’s probably too mean. Female… dog? Yeah, okay – the female dog said, grabbing unto Junhong’s arm. She slapped the covers off him with a disgusted look on her face, and then turned around, gasping a little when she almost bumped into me. I couldn’t help but glare at her, taking my time before silently moving aside for her to pass.

     She wrinkled her nose, giving me the elevator-look. “What a… ert,” she then muttered, snorting.

     “Ya, Yong Guk,” Young Jae said before I could do anything. He knew me so well – being one step ahead, preventing me from smacking that female dog to the ground. She wouldn’t have escaped, no matter how much she begged and pleaded or cried; I would’ve shown her no mercy. But, those few words from Young Jae had me flinching, exhaling as she passed me, dragging Junhong after her.

     “Where are we going?” Junhong asked, the female dog storming down the hallway.

     “We are going home!” She snapped, jerking open the front door.

     “But, I don’t–“

     “YOBO! Would you hurry up, huh?” She yelled, Young Jae being the one to flinch. A horrified look spread across his face as he glanced at me, our eyes doing the talking. It felt like ages since we’d done that.

     “You don’t have to go, man. You can stay.”

     “No, I have to go… I’m sorry, I’ll come by again soon, okay?”

     I sighed, but then nodded, letting him turn around and walk down the hallway. And for once, the sound of the slamming door hit me hard, on the edge of knocking me off my feet. For the first time it felt horrible, my head spinning a little as I stared into the empty air, the silence killing me slowly. What a weird, painful and terrifying feeling…

     “Humans need food to survive… And water,” I mumbled, staring into the sealing. I didn’t know for how long I’d been lying there, but I guessed that it had been long enough for my body to crave fresh supplies. The growling from my stomach confirmed it, but I didn’t feel that hungry. My voice was hoarse but my mouth wasn’t dry or anything. I figured that my body was driving on the last fuel – the safety fuel that had been kept away for emergencies. Even so, my mind was running fine, fed up by the images and memories of him – all enhanced by the delicate scent of him in the sheets. I could stay there forever, but it seemed like I’d already stayed there for too long. I had to convince myself that lying around in bed all day wasn’t that good of an idea. Or what other people called ‘living’. Well, I guess I wasn’t alive anyway, it didn’t feel like it and apparently my body was about to give up too. Or maybe, I was just exaggerating… I was so stupid; actually believing in the fact that what kept me alive was him.

     I eventually got on my feet, dragging myself to the bathroom. After visiting the toilet and the shower, I didn’t feel that much more alive and I decided to aim for the kitchen – the journey there overwhelming and tiring. But, I made it, opening the fridge with a weak hand. I’d been testing out my left hand, concluding that my arm was more or less healed and that I was over the car crash, leaving it in the past. I’d been told that it’d been a horrible accident – something that I just had to forget about to move on. They’d all hoped for me to get through it, not picking up some kind of trauma, having nightmares about it every night, flinching and fleeing whenever I heard the sound of a running motor.

     “And sunlight,” I muttered, covering up my eyes when I faced the window, the early sunlight blinding me.

     But, I didn’t understand; the thought about those days when the accident occurred and I was at the hospital somehow seemed sweet to me, soothing me whenever I felt trapped in the darkness of loneliness. And I knew what caused it, I didn’t try to hide or deny it. It was all him – that stupid, cute brat, and the feelings I had for him. I felt like I’d been catching a deadly decease, knowing that I’d completely fallen for him, way out deep. I was acting like some fool because of him, not knowing what to do with my life now that he was gone. I calculated that it’d been days since I’d last seen him. A couple of days doing nothing but lying in the bed he’d slept in, hugging the pillow he’d hugged, failing while playing the video game he’d played and mastered, wandering around hoping I would catch the sound of his footsteps behind me. Have I been letting you go too easy? What should I’ve done to make you stay?

     “You’re such a loser,” I hissed, eating something, nurturing my worn-out body. Oh, yeah, that’s right. I had a gig coming up that night. It was finally time for me to face other people (Himchan nor Young Jae had been around, but I guess it was for the best, considering my appearance), being polite and somewhat presentable. Looking like a hobo wasn’t really a part of my act. Unfortunately.

Hey~
Short chapter, I know, but I didn’t want to fill in with unnecessary babbling – I hope you understand~ :3 I’ll be the one to update again soon, so yeah, look forward to some Himdae-action coming up next! :D

-Ayo-