I felt like he had years that he knows me ,i don't know,i feel so protected when he is with me..
"Okay,but promise me another thing-" i said crying.

"Anything." his warm voice..

"If you leave,i mean,when you will leave,please keep those things as a secret ,no matter what" i was holding my skateboard invertet ,with the wheels up,playin' with them,just to don't look at his face.

"Fistly ,i promised you,i won't leave-"

"Yes you will." i murmured.

As he continued,acting like he didn't heard me "Secondly,i will not spill anything from my mouth till i die."

Why was he talking to me like that? Like he care. Why? I'm just a little disgusting girl.Was he doing this for mercy? I'm sorry i don't need that.
After 5 minutes of sobbing..I took a deep breath and start taking.

"1 year ago on 27 november,my dad passed away,a car accident,don't ask me how or why,please..he was the only person that understand me,understand how i feel,and i know this sound like :Oh look a daddy's girl but it's not like that.He wanted to help me,he was really trying.He cared at least.
I have almost 2 years that i wanna die.I tried to kill myself more than twice,i hate myself,just...just look at me,do i look normal to you? I'm 16 and i'm not even 48 kg. My mom don't even care about me,i'm so useless in this world,i don't deserve to leave.I avoid talking to people cuz' i know that everyone leaves in the end,even you will do,and it hurts,it hurst a lot! I see nightmares everyday of my live.I'm afraid of the dark.I hear voices in my head saying : You should have died,you should have died. I fake smile everytime,everyday .All i want to do is stay in my room,forever. I spit  out my hate for myself and the fact i'm like this by cutting,i feel like i don't belong here in this place." i saw his eyes,full of tears,but he was honlding them inside,i think he didn't want to look weak or something,i felt guilty for a moment,then continued "I love Kpop,singing and dancing.I put my feelings into drawings.But none understand them,none understand me,i'm such a mistake,why should i have born? "

 I talked about 2 hours,without any pause ,i didn't know if he was following me,but i felt like i was opening up to him,that's great.

"Now,sorry for wasting your time,i know you think im nuts,and you are free to leave,thank you for listening,please keep the promise." i said by wiping my tears and running my  fingers through my hair,i got up form my sit ,without even watching him,he didn't moved,so i took the chance to leave,i looked back,he was terribly shocked,with his mouth wide open,and tears in his eyes,sure,why wouldn't he be surprised?He have a perfect live .I stood there, 3 metres away from him,still looking at him with a sorry expression,i turned back ,then i heard his footsteps ,i stopped,he was in front of me.
He hugged me tightly,by placing one hand behind my waist,and one by holding my head,i was totally shocked,i felt his heartbeat,then i hugged him back,placing both hand behind his back,i was sure for one thing,i could stay like this forever.
 

"Everything will be okay soon,i promise you." He whispered in me ear,his voice chills me ..

"And no ,i don't think you are nuts ,i think you are cute.I can help you,trust me. I understand you perfectly ,even if i've never been in your situation,i do understand you,no,i won't leave,how can i leave someone like you ?" I looked up at his puppy face, he was smiling,still having tears in his eyes."You are special,different.I won't leave you alone,i promised,and i promise it right now again,please trust me.I know it's so weird that i'm talking to you this way,like i know everything about you,but you have something attractive,that is not leaving my head,please,please let know you,yeah ,i'm an idol,so what?I'm a human too.And i swear i will be there for you,always." Those words,oh those words,why was he doing this to me? He didn't even know me a few hours ago,was this a gift or something?

"Thank you." I said coldly,as i slipped out of his arms,sure i was talking coldly ,i didn't know anything about him except facts i read on tumblr .How am i suppose to trust him when i don't trust myself,or my mom? He understand? I'm not sure yet.

Suddendly my phone rang,it was mom,texting me to come home and help her with some work stuffs.
"Hmm...i have to go-" i said,i really wanted to stay,but i couldn't.

"May i accompany you home? "

"Yeah,if you want " i smiled a little .

We were side by side ,walking to my house,i noticed that some girls from my school were staring at us ,or better,were staring at Jonghyun.

"This is my house." i said as i turned to the main door direction

"Here,this is my number" he said as he took out a paper from his pocket .
I just smiled .

"See you later" i said ,as i opened the garden door
"When?"

"I don't know ,just text me when you are available "  i said,i hope he text me ASAP.

"Yeah sure" he replied ,as his eyes curled a little up .

After i helped mom,every 2 min i was checking my phone,no messages,but i didn't have to be so paranoiac..
I repeted in my mind the moment when he said the sweet words,and the moment he hugged me,over and over again..