"Oh come on ,are you serious?" i said  murmuring with myself,as  i turned off the alarm clock,it was the first day of school,the first day of hell i would say,plus,i was a new student this year,i think people will start rumors about me soon,i will hear hem as they say : "Have you seen the new student of this year?Hah,she's so weird,she looks like a boy,look at the way she's dressed,look at her hair,blah blah blah ."

I can't stand such things,i hate it,i hate me,the way people look at me,why can't i be like a normal teenage girl just for once?WHY?
Anyway,i dressed up with a tee and a squared shirt  ,a pair of ripped jeans like always and white sneakers.

I grabbed my backpack,picking it up with one hand .

"Goodmorning!" Mom's said.

"I got to go ,i'm late" i replied with an angry voice,as i rushed trought the front door,i looked back at mom's face ,she was really confused,i was really  late,but i didn't care at all.

Here i was,standing in the front of the High School Of Music And Arts,as i anticipated,students was looking me like i was some kind of monster,i felt bad though..but then i remind myself "Back straight,Head up!",at least i got my headphones on,listening to "A day to remember-If it means a lot to you",i really love that song,even though it wasn't a Kpop song,it was the only american song i had on my ipod.
I checked the paper that the school send me a few days ago,where all the lessons i had to take were written down,and even a little map that explained me where classes were.

Focused on the paper,plus with my headphones on i didn't want t,but i bumped into a stranger .

"Sorry" i said immediately ,without realising who that person was,i was looking at the floor,trying to reach all the things that felt from my hands.For a moment,i saw a hand picking up my ipod,as i looked up slowly,i saw Jonghyun's face watching the screen,then i saw him reaching out the hand,so he could pick me up.

I was totally shocked,totally shocked,i was staring at his eyes,his puppy face,his dino smile and his perfect brownish-blonde hair for a few moments.Oh my god.I felt like i couldn't move at all,i just wanted to die .My heart was racing ,i was breathing faster,and my stomach,oh,goosebumps in my whole body,i couldn't exlpain what i really felt.

I was focused deep in his eyes,oh those eyes,those eyes that i only saw in pictures or videos,i couldn't believe he was standing in front of me,it felt like HEAVEN.

I reached his hand ,as he took me up,then he's voice get heard.
"No,i'm sorry,hmm,are you new here?" His Voice! HIS VOICE .I totally forgot any problem ,i was just enjoying that moment ,he was still holding my hand,till someone interupped us.
"Jjong come quick,we have to go,now!" a friend of him speaked.

"Hey i got to go,here take your ipod"

I couldn't have the honor to answear him,i just watched as he smiled at me ,and leaved.
I felt bad ,thinking that he will not speak to me ever again,when he was holding my hand,i felt PROTECTED.

As my mind came back to earth ,and as i got myself together,i placed my eyes to that little map,i was late,the hallway was empty ,all the students were now in their classes.
"The map say i have to go left ,then enter that door in the end of the hallway" i said to myself. Yeah i was talking to myself.Problem?
I opened the door,the whole class was staring at me,i got closer to the teacher desk,giving her the "New student paper".
"Oh" she said "You are the new student? " she raised her voice saying

"Everybody quite! This is a new student,please be gentle with her"
But none was really listening her .
"Go take a seat there honey" pointing at the end of the class,from that little des at least i was able to look throught the window.

I lied down my backpack,as i sit to that corner,hours passed like minutes,i was just looking out the window all the time,stuck in my thoughs,i wasn't in mood to talk to anybody,or even change the books ,even the teachers didn't notice that i had the same books since the classes started. I was invisible.My mind was like:"Kim Jonghyun,Kim Jonghyun,Kim Jonghyun!" till the moment that the ringing bell woke me up from my daydreaming.

Finally this day of school finished. I was passing by the hallway when i saw Jonghyun laughing out loud with some friends,then ,he just stared at me,as he got a serious face,suddendly our eyes met again,i felt uncomfy,even though i was happy at the idea that he was looking me . I still don't understand why he got that serious face when he saw me,did he hate me that much?

I walked my way home alone,yeah sure,alone,what was i thinking about?

I stood in front of my home's door ,as i was checking my pocket to find the key,then remembered that i forgot them on the cupboard in the morning .I took out my phone,typing mom's number .

"Hey,it's me " i said in a cut voice.I knew she would start to squill out cuz of my mistake.

"Yeah,tell me,quick,i have to work,i don't have much time"

"Weeell...look,i forgot the key's of the front door in the morning,soo-"

"YOU WHAT?"

"Yeah,i know,i'm sorry,what should i do?"

"Hah? You are waiting me to tell you what to do? Do whatever you want to till 7 o'clock,i want you in front of the door,understood?"

"Yes ma’ ...i mean,mom"

Argh,she don't really care about me,she will make me wait 6 hours alone.
As she hang up the phone,i sit down to the deckchair of our garden,then,i took out my famous headphones,and start singing to "Super Junior-No Other"

All i was thinking was HIM,repeating what happend in my mind,over and over again...

I didn't mind what time was time was,i just looked up the sky,trying to figure out what the clouds what forming with each-other.
I was so focused to the sky that as i felt a hand on my shoulder ,i immediatly moved from my sit,then stare to mom's face,how fast the time passed..
"Mooom?! You scared me!" i said with an innocent  voice.
"Yeah,yeah,come in now"
I instantly enter my room,lied  to the bed,watching all the posters of my room,then i felt asleep for around 1 hour ,i woke up from mom's voice tellig me that i have to eat,but i don't eat,ever,i only eat what i want,when i feel to,i know,kinda rude but i hate my body,so i avoid eating.

All the night i couldn't sleep,why? Cuz of nightmares.
I'm afraid of the dark,terrified to death.
I just cover my head with a blanket,hoping that everthing will be fine soon..