J. R.:

I sat in the locker room looking at a picture of Yoki and Ren. Ren had taken it when he took Yoki to the beach for the first time. He said Yoki tried to eat the sand and got upset when Ren told him no.

I feel bad because I wasn't there. I wasn't there for a lot of my son's firsts like a good father should be. I wasn't even their when he was born. What kind of isn't there when their child is being born and I had nothing to do that day. I was just scared. I was scared to go and get noticed by someone. I'm a ing coward. I can't look past myself to be there for my own kid.

"You okay man,"I heard L. Joe ask as he sat down next to me on the bench.

I shrugged.

"I don't know man."

He took the picture from my hand.

"You know Ren and Yoki,"he asked.

"Chunji never told you?"

He raised his eyebrow.

"Told me what?"

I scooted closer.

"Ren and I are, well use to be a couple, Ren just broke it off. Yoki is my son,"I whispered to him.

He looked at me with wide eyes.

"You're the dead beat dad Ren always talks about."

I frowned.

"Yeah."

"Dude, your kid's birthday party is today. My little girl and Chunji are going. Why aren't you there?"

"Because I have a soccer game to play."

"So you're going to miss your child's first birthday for a soccer game?"

I nodded.

"Dude, no. You're going to regret this for the rest of your life."

"I already regret a lot of things. I regret missing every single first that my kid has already experienced."

"Then why create another? Are you afraid of what people might think?"

I nodded.

"You can't do that to yourself."

"I've done it too much already L. Joe."

"And continuing will do what? Ren has told me about everything you have done to him. All the lying and pain he has been through with you. You give him this amazing gift that he can't live without now and you act like Yoki is just something you can throw away and leave to live your life."

I stood up.

"I have scouts looking at me. I have everyone looking at me. Even soccer teams who are waiting for me to graduate to get to me."

L. Joe stood up.

"And you have a son. One that will be three maybe four when we graduate and maybe heading to pre school and where will you be. You will be in your career and your son will be in pre school saying that his daddy is some other dude that is not you. Ren will have found someone who makes his heart pound and treats your son like his own and you will be sitting there calling your son and he will wonder why is this stranger calling me."

"Don't say that?"

"Why? Cause it's the truth? Because you know that Ren isn't going to wait for you all of his life. That some man will come into and take his heart and let him see what real love is. Let him see what he could have. Let you son experience what it is like to have a real father."

"He has a real father,"I yelled as I got in L. Joe's face.

"Then be that father and stop acting like a scared little ."

L. Joe moved and left the locker room.

.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Hey everyone

Sorry to stop it there, but I like making people wonder

I hope you all liked it and please comment.

I love you all a lot

Love and lots of Kisu

Love

Ai

Oh and here is a picture of Itoshii. I forgot to post it last chapter