J. R.:

My boyfriend, Ren, and our son, Yoki, came over to my house during the weekend while my parents were out. We went up to my room and sat on my bed. I took Yoki from Ren.

"He's getting so big,"I said.

"I know. The doctor said he's fifteen pounds now, so he's getting their. The doctor said he's still pretty small for almost being a year in just a few weeks."

Yoki touched my nose and giggled. I smiled at him.

"Do you have everything you wanted to have at his first birthday party?"

"Yeah. It's going to be at the park and I have all the decorations, the cake, food, and party favors and games. I talked to the park people and they said they'd set up the party for me."

"It's on Saturday right? At one p. m.?"

"Yeah."

"I can't come until maybe three."

"Why?"

"I have a game."

Ren rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"Your game is more important than your son's birthday?"

"No."

"Then why can't you tell your coach you have something important to do and come to your own son's birthday?"

"Because he won't let me."

"Bull crap J. R. L. Joe took off when his little girl's birthday. And don't say he didn't ask the coach because I talked to Chunji all the time and he said he did. And it surprises me that we have been dating for almost five years and have a kid and they have been dating for three and have a kid, but they are already out and we aren't because of you. Why is that J. R.?"

"Because I have scouts looking at me Ren."

"And you're afraid that no one will want you if they know you are gay?"

"Exactly."

He shook his head.

"You are pathetic. You're a pathetic person, father, and lover. You only care about yourself."

"I care about you and Yoki."

"Oh you do? Then why do you ignore us all the time? J. R., I tried to tell you in school that your son was sick and I needed a ride to the doctors because my father wasn't at home to take us and neither was my mother. But you ignored me and then you wouldn't answer my phone call. I had to take our son to the hospital at two in the morning on a school night because his father wouldn't pick up the phone."

"You never told me this."

"I left you messages, J. R. and I shouldn't have to. You're a father, a poor excuse for one, but a father and your child should come first. Good thing it was only a cold, but it scared me half to death having my baby cry all day and I didn't know what was wrong with him and I had no help."

Ren wiped the tears away from his eyes and I tried to keep mine from falling.

"I live every day of my life for Yoki. I make sure he is okay before I am. Sometimes I am so exhausted that I make myself sick from it, but I can't get a break. I have to make sure Yoki is okay before I am. I have to make sure he is bathed, fed, changed, and is perfectly okay. I spend long nights sometimes, waking up if he has a bad dream and won't fall asleep and sometimes I only get two hours of sleep because of that. I can't be a normal teenager because I am not. I'm a teen umma and everything is about my baby. And I wasn't the only one who made him. You enjoy your life as a teen. You go out to parties, play a sport, hang out with your friends and do whatever you want and your son comes second or maybe fifth in your life."

"Don't say that. He comes first before everything."

"When Jonghyun? Exactly when do you put him first? I know he doesn't come before sports because you don't even want to take off from one game to come to his first birthday. I know it's not before popularity because you don't even acknowledge him when he's yelling Appa to you when I take him out and we see you. And I know it is not before you because you want to get what you want first and then worry about Yoki."

"Ren, what do you want me to do then? Exactly what do you want me to do?"

"Stop hiding and tell everyone. It's been five long years and I'm still a nobody to you in public and now your son is getting the same treatment."

"I can't do that Ren."

He took Yoki from me and grabbed Yoki's baby bag and stood up.

"Then stay out of both of our lives."

He started walking to the door. I stood up and grabbed his hand.

"Ren, you can't do this. You can't break up with me. I need you and Yoki."

He snatched his hand from mine and looked at me with tears running down his cheeks.

"Funny, you've been doing fine without us in your life anyway as you pretend to not even know us. So keep pretending and live your perfect life. I'm not your boyfriend anymore and Yoki isn't your son."

"No. Don't say that."

"I did and I'm done. Goodbye Jonghyun."

"Please, no,please."

He pushed me away and ran down the steps and out the door. I put my shoes on and ran after them, but he had already pulled out of the driveway and was gone.

What the hell have I done.

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Hey everyone

Here is the first chapter

I hope you all liked it and please comment and let me know how it was

I want to hear your opinions

Love you all a bunch

Love and Lots of Kisu

Love

Ai

Oh and this is Yoki(thought this baby was oh so adorable)