My eyes were still shut tightly, I still felt very drowsy. I squirmed and shifted positions, my eyes still closed. I don’t want to get up, I thought to myself. I lifted the blanket and covered the upper half of my body. Slowly, I blinked my eyes open and inhaled the scent of strong cologne and hotel fresheners. Wait. Cologne? I asked myself. I sat up quickly and covered the upper half of my body, and stared at a half- Kevin right beside me. My eyes widened as my eyes flickered to my hoodie on the floor, I stared back at myself, only wearing a tank top. Omo, did he just.. did he take off my hoodie? My eyes flickered back to his chiseled chest and scooted a bit away from him, still not knowing what happened the night before. I know I fell asleep. Oh god. I fell asleep.

“Yah.. Kevin-sshi. Yah!” I poked his collarbone softly then more roughly since he wouldn’t budge. Is he dead? I asked myself quietly. “Y-yah! What did you do to me?”

Without waking up, he shifted his body to the opposite side and snored quietly. His chest heaving in and out slowly. He’s probably still exhausted. He was helping me pack last night, and stayed up very late. Although, he kept insulting the way I pack. I growled and watched Kevin breathe in and out. I chuckled as I reminisced the first time I “met” him:

I heard mumbling coming from my bed and a slow yawn. Oh goodness. It’s awake. It’s going to kill me. I didn’t even find get married yet, nor have kids. This is how I’m going to die, isn’t it? I cried to myself mentally.  I slowly poked my head over the mattress, only to be met by another pair of eyes.

We both just stared and screamed: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Hey! Kevin!” I poked his cheek this time, and then got shocked by sudden knocking on our room door! ! I fell off the bed, hitting my head against the floor. Well, this isn’t new. Falling everywhere. I rubbed my head and got up lazily and quietly towards the beige painted door. Slowly, I looked through the peephole and covered my mouth, pacing quickly back to the bed. I looked around the area and stared at the closet. Without thinking, I closed the closet door behind me and sat in the far corner of the dark closet. I gulped and hid behind a few racks. I should have told Kevin, I told myself. But he’s just going to make a scene. I rummaged through my pants. . I left my iPhone on the bed. I punched my head lightly and swore at myself for forgetting something so crucial.

Knock! Knock! RING!

I covered my mouth, muffling my breathing and heard Kevin groan in frustration.

“I’m coming. I’m coming! … huh?”

I looked through the slit of the closet door and stared at Kevin, confused, ruffling his hair, staring at the empty space beside him. He pulled over a shirt, covering his chiseled chest, and walked lazily towards the door. I can’t believe she came all the way here, I muttered grumpily.

“Hyuna?” I heard Kevin gasp in shock. “What are you doing here? How did yo—“

Heels tapping down the hallways, her “cute” laugh filled the room. I hated her laugh, it pierced through my ears. I clamped my hands onto my ears and slowly lowered them to hear what they were saying.

“I heard at school that most of the teachers left for Montreal for a meeting for 3 days and 2 nights, I believe. And I thought, what the heck? I heard you guys were going to be staying at the hotel so.. you know. Perfect timing.”

I mumbled to myself angrily and face palmed. What a . I said to myself. I inched closer to the slit of the closet door to get a closer look at what was happening but was ready to back away as soon as … any of Hyuna’s seductive plans decide to happen. Oh god, please not now. Not with me in this closet, oh goodness. I clamped my cheeks with my hands and felt my anger start to boil as Hyuna approached Kevin’s body. Hyuna tangled her hands again in Kevin’s golden hair, approaching him slowly and sneakily like a feline. Don’t do it, I pleaded mentally. Please don’t. I closed my eyes shut and backed away from the slit as I felt the void in my heart grow darker. I slapped myself quietly and muffled my whine. Stop it, ____. You’re just a nuisance. You don’t like him. You don’t.  I shook my head violently and kept listening.

“Hyuna, this is wrong.” I watched Kevin grab her wrists and pushed her away. He looked around the room and walked to the bathroom, peeking inside. “What the hell…”

“Kevin, are you looking for someone?” Hyuna asked, suspicious, looking around also. As she approached the closet, I backed away farther.  Shoot. If she finds me, I’m dead, Kevin’s dead. I don’t want to ruin their relationship. I backed away even further, taking Kevin’s suit from the rack, covering my whole body with it, surrounded by his scent. I poked my head out of the suit and stared through the slit of the closet again. “Kevin..?”

“No, I’m just making sure everything is intact.” He explained, still looking around.

“Yah, Kevin. Are you trying to push me away?” Hyuna asked, not amused.

“Ani… Well, you better get go—“

Suddenly, you hear a vibrate and a soft lullaby tune play, causing the room to go silent. . That’s my iPhone. ! I crawled my way back to the slit of the closet and watched Kevin pick up my phone. Oh no. Please don’t look at my texts, he’s just going to tease me.

“Is that yours?” Hyuna asked, suspicious, tugging on my red phone chain.

“Uh. Yeah, sorry.” Kevin smiled.

Teasingly, Hyuna took my phone and flung it in the air, catching it. She stick out her tongue and looked through my phone, pushing Kevin away from getting it. She cleared and her eyes widened.

“Hey, it’s Eli. I was just wondering when you come back, we could hang out. Take care of yourself! If ever you need me, just call, araso? Don’t get me worried!.. Awh, how sweet! “ Hyuna smiled cheekily and tossed the phone back to Kevin. “He’s worried about you, how sweet.”

Kevin stared at the phone and gave a dark expression, tossing it back on the sofa. Suddenly, his eyes flickered to the slit of the closet and his eyes widened. Shocked, I moved up further. Shoot. He saw me. Please don’t come here, I pleaded mentally.

“Hyuna, you better leave. Please.” He said, placing his hand on her cheek. My heart dropped, why is that?

“Oppa! Fine, I’ll leave if you do me a little favor.” She pursed her lips, exposing her cleavage. What a…

“And what is that?” Kevin asked, staring at her face, avoiding her exposed skin.

“Kiss me.” Hyuna smiled, poking her lips. “Or else, I won’t leave.”

She walked around Kevin, her finger tracing his shoulders. Then, she sat down on the bed, leaning against Kevin’s pillow, hugging it tightly while staring at Kevin who was staring back at the closet towards me and then back to Hyuna, who was obviously wanting him. I rolled my eyes and kept my eyes on Kevin. Kiss her for all I care. I growled quietly. I hugged my knees and pulled off the elastic that secured my bun in place. I dug my head between my knees and closed my eyes shut. I hate this. I hate this so much, I told myself. Suddenly, I heard Hyuna giggle and the sound of her heels tapped its way out of the room. He kissed her, I bet he kissed her. She wouldn’t have left. I closed my eyes tight again and held my head between my knees. I don’t like Kevin. I don’t like Kevin, I repeated to myself.

Suddenly, the closet door opens, but I didn’t bother looking up, I kept my head between my knees. I didn’t want to look at him, I felt my eyes sting and this feeling that I didn’t understand.

“What are you doing in this closet?” My angel said. My angel. My? You got to be kidding me, ____. Stop it, you don’t like him.

I didn’t answer, my throat was clogged, I couldn’t say a single word at all.

“Yah.” He poked my forehead, pushing my head up. His eyes widened. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head and got up, straightening my tank top, after being stuck in a closet for about .. I’d say 20 minutes? I got up quickly and grabbed my iPhone, staring at Eli’s text. Suddenly, a hand reached for my phone and took it abruptly, causing me to whine and stomp my foot.

“Yah! Give me back my phone, I have to reply to him.” I whined, tiptoeing, reaching for my iPhone. But because of my height, well. Let’s just say I didn’t go that far.

“Why should I?” Kevin muttered, staring at the phone, suddenly he started texting him back.

“YAH!!” I grabbed the phone and stared at the text he sent.

“Can you please stop texting me? I’m busy ==”

“Omo.” I clamped my hands on my face and started texting back, apologizing, mentioning that it wasn’t me. “What’s the matter with you, Kevin?” I growled, punching his arm lightly. “By the way.. what am I doing in your room?” I stared at him, my eyes widened, I covered my chest and stared at him.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed outloud. Then he smirked, whispering deviously:

“You don’t remember what happened to us last night?”

“Mw-Mwoh?” I asked. I knew nothing happened, I wasn’t drunk or anything. I just fell asleep, I was exhausted. He’s lying; he’s just trying to play with my head as a joke. What a jerk. I stared at him and muttered: “Nothing happened last night. I just fell asleep and that’s all, you jerk.” My arms still covered my chest and I sat on the edge of the bed, glaring at Kevin’s smirk, causing my heart to beat madly.

“Are you sure about that?” He winked, approaching, sitting beside me.

Nervously, I scooted to my left, avoiding Kevin’s warmth. “Ya-Yah. Not too close, you jerk.” I growled, pushing his arm away from my body. If he touches me, I swear. And what is this guy saying, sheesh. Trying to mess around with my head. Slowly, he sat closer, his face almost inches away from my own.

“Wh-What are you doing?” I asked, covering my face with both of my hands.

“You don’t remember what we’ve done last night? You naughty girl.” He smiled peevishly.

“S-Stop that! I didn’t do anything.” I yelled, covering my fiery cheeks. I didn’t do anything… right? I mean, I never had that kind of thought before. I never even thought of touching…Kevin that way. I shook my head violently and blushed fiercely. “I didn’t do anything! I fell asleep. I don’t remember anything.”

“Liar.” He smiled, his hand pulling a strand of hair behind my ear. Slowly, his lips came close to my cheek, then to my ear. His hot breath tickled my cold skin. I couldn’t move, I felt tense.  I turned my head to face him and stared at him, confusingly. I didn’t understand what I was feeling. Slowly, his face approached my own, slowly and he smiled, his lips inches away from my own lips. “I’m just joking.”

Shocked, I slapped his arm and covered my face. THIS JERK, I yelled in my mind.

“You’re such an !” I growled, storming out of the room. “I hope you fall down a flight of stairs!”

Storming out of his room, my cheeks, a fiery red, I stomped my way back to 525, my own room and slammed the door, probably loud enough to wake up the whole freaking hotel. I can’t believe he just did that. I actually thought... I actually thought something happened. I closed my eyes tightly and walked to the long mirror and stared at my face. My eyes were still stinging and my cheeks were as red as they can be. I placed my cold hand on my cheeks and sighed heavily. “Do you like him?” I asked the mirror. Then I shook my head. “No, you don’t. Are you sure?” I asked my reflection again. I nodded my head and puffed my cheeks. “Then why are you blushing so badly? Just like you have with Eli? Hm?” I shrugged at the mirror and let myself fall on the bed.

I’m screwed. I have feelings for the both of them.  Elison and Kevin. What’s the matter with you? I ruffled my hair. This just fantastic. You can’t like the both of them, you stupid idiot. You’re a weirdo. They don’t like you. They don’t like you. You’re ugly. Why would they like someone like you?

I held my chest and thought about Hyuna. She’s pretty. She’s smart. She’s y. For the first time in a long long time, I felt jealous of Hyuna. It’s been awhile, but it seems my heart was on the verge of breaking. All over again. I closed my eyes tightly and relaxed, dozing off, away from my fears and worries.

***

I yawned and stared at the time. Omo. 6:08pm. I got knocked out. I legit slept for the whole day! Oh no. Kevin! I stared at my watch and stared at the timer, shoot. I have to renew his timer. I covered myself with a shirt and walked to Kevin’s room. I opened the door and whispered: Psst. Kevin, you in here?

I walked in and stared at Kevin, who was sleeping once again. I chuckled lightly and sat on the edge of the bed. I don’t want to wake him up.. I his hair slowly and stared at his angelic face. He looks so nice and sweet when he’s asleep. What happened? I pouted angrily and smoothened out with a smile. My hands travelled to his collar and I folded it neatly, exposing his neck. I traced his tattoo with my finger and smiled weakly. I kissed his neck, and let my lips press against his neck longer than usual, my heart beating, beating as one with his. I closed my eyes and placed my hand on his arm, as a nervous reaction. Feeling like an idiot, I pulled my lips away from the familiar area. I wiped my lips and got up to walk back to my room.

I closed the door behind me and gasped.

[ Hyuna’s POV]

“You little .” I snarled between my teeth, my arms crossed.

She stared back at me, terrified. She fiddled with her fingers. What a pathetic little loser, this girl is. I walked towards and pulled her arm, bringing her to the alley behind the hotel. “Come with me , you ing ugly wart.” I felt her pull away rapidly and she glared at me. What does this think I am? Stupid? I saw everything. I can’t believe she dared to lay her ing lips on my man’s neck.

“Yah! What did I say? Back away from my man, or you’ll regret it.” I yelled. “How dare you lay your lips on his neck. He’s mine. My property, if you dare to be with him again, I’ll crush you, it won’t give you any justice since you’re so freaking ugly.” I watched her wince as I told her every insult in my book, and trust me I have more coming her way.

She stared back at me, emotionless, she was speechless. She smirked weakly and before she could speak, I slapped her hard enough, she lost her balance, leaning against the cold metal fence behind her.

“He doesn’t love you.” I heard her say faintly, still wincing over the pain. She placed her hand over her cheek and stared back at me. “He’s only stuck with you because of lust. There’s no true love there, absolutely nothing. You’re just using him for and fame.” She yelled, approaching me. Does she think she’s all mighty? Angrily, I grabbed her hair and pushed her against the fence, slapping her twice across the face. She falls onto her knees and she stared at the ground.

“You better watch what you say or I swear. You’re dead.” I yelled, kicking her rib. She winced at the pain and cringed in pain, a tear strolled down her cheek. “You’re ugly and you’re weak. You don’t deserve a man. You don’t deserve to be born. You’re just a burden to everyone. Wonder why, that boy from 10 years ago fell in love with me? Because unlike you, I’m worth something. And as for you. A waste of space. Do you hear me?” I slapped her again, this time her hand grabbed my wrist, preventing me from hitting her a second time. I stared at her face, a cut on her right cheek, her cheek slightly swollen from the beating I gave her. It’s her fault, I told myself. She deserves it.  She is not going to get my ticket to fame.

“You don’t deserve Kevin.” She muttered, coughing. “He deserves someone that understands him and that loves him truly, not for his fame and money.”

“Who? Like you?” I snapped, clenching my fists. I pushed her onto her knees and grabbed a hand full of her hair and clenched it tightly, earning a satisfying cry that escaped through her lips.

“N-No.” She said, almost whispered. Her voice trembled as I tightened my grip, her expression; pain. “I don’t deserve someone like him… I don’t deserve him at all. I’m just a burden.”

Burden? What is that supposed to mean?

“What do you mean by that?” I asked her, pulling her head to the side, facing up towards me. Her teeth gritted as the pain has become excruciating. I stared at the side where I have kicked and noticed slight blood. I smirked and stared back at my heels. I slapped her once more with my other hand and yelled: “You got some freaking blood on my heels. Thanks a lot, you . Now, hurry up and tell me the hell you mean by burden.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?” I pulled her hair again, this time not as hard, If I did, she looks like she would lose consciousness, and I wanted some freaking answers.

“I just can’t.”

“Worthless piece of crap.” I pushed her hard to the floor and crossed my arms. I smiled as I watched her crawl to the fence, gripping the pole, to balance her frail body. “If you ever get close to Kevin, I’ll get him fired by the school AND expose your little relationship. I wonder how the KISSMEs will feel about that. I wonder how’d that’ll be for his reputation.” I watched her limp and she stared at me, as she held onto the metal pole. Her lips bruised. Her side bleeding slightly. Her cheeks slightly swollen. Her shirt ripped from the side. “This style suits you.” I laughed, and walked away, excited to see my Kevin. And when I said mine. I meant mine, only.

[ Your POV ]

I held my side as the pain became even more excruciating, as Hyuna left I lifted my shirt and stared at the wound. A huge gash slid on my rib side, as long as almost 10cm. I pressed on it with my shirt to cover up the bleeding, and I winced at the pain.

I grabbed the phone from my pocket and dialed a number.

“Hello?”

“E-Eli…” I whispered faintly, leaning against the fence.

“____?”

Before responding back, I felt my mind just go blank. I leaned against the cold fence, the snow blowing on my face.

“Yah. _____, are you there? What’s wrong? What’s the matter?”

Without answering I let my tears fall. My sobbing filled the dark night sky. I felt worthless, so alone. I choked in tears and tried to fight off the pain, but it was impossible.

I’m useless.

I’m nothing. No, that’s not true.

I’m an absolute fool.