Gongchan’s POV

“Are you going to come with me?” Baro asks coming into my room.

“My answer is going to be the same forever,” I say without even looking up at him.

“I’m sure she’d love to see you. You know she’s confined to a bed right now, right?” Baro asks as he readjusts his bag on his shoulder. I stay silent and keep staring at everything that’s laid out on my desk. “You should’ve seen her face when I gave her the note, Channie. It looked like she wanted to cry, she wanted to cry knowing that she was back in America. A month and a half has already passed, it’s the New Year, well past it. Why can’t you just visit her once?”

“I can’t,” I tell him. “I just…can’t. Maybe next time, but for right now, be good to her, cherish her.”

“Fine,” Baro says sighing. “We’ll see next week when I go back.”

With that, Baro leaves my room. The same thing has been happening for a month and a half already. Every weekend, Baro goes to America and visits Mia. He kept visiting until she woke up, about two weeks after she was transferred back to America. Baro still visits her every weekend and makes sure that he has time to. Every week he offers for me to tag along with him and every week I object.

I don’t know what it is, but I can’t face Mia. Maybe it’s the way that I broke up with her through a stupid letter, the way that I let her go to America with her father without even a care in the world. I just wanted what was safe for her before things started getting out of hand. Without creating a scandal and closing everything peacefully, the best thing to do was to send her back to America.

There’s a knocking on the dorm door and I go out to answer it since I’m the only one here. Jinyoung, Sandeul, and Shinwoo are all at a recording for something and Baro just left. I open the door and see Suzy standing there. Ever since the thing happened with Mia and me, Jinyoung and Suzy never really confessed their feelings for each other. I think they’re still lingering in the air and they’re both afraid of what happened. I didn’t know that things would cause this much trouble.

“Hey, Suzy, all of the guys are out,” I tell her. “Are you going to come in?”

“I just wanted to drop this off for you,” she says handing me a bag.

“What’s in it?” I ask as I open it but only see tissue paper stuffed inside.

“I know it’s late, but Mia contacted me.”

“Oh,” I say looking at it. Suddenly it feels like I don’t know what to say.

“It’s apparently all of your Christmas presents.”

“Thank you,” I say.

“I should get going. I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, see you later,” I say.

I take the bag and sit on the floor where I slowly empty the contents. Each of the gifts are individually wrapped and have our names on them along with a card that Mia probably wrote herself. Sandeul and Shinwoo’s gift looks sort of like a CD and Baro’s is all rolled up in something. Jinyoung looks like he got a CD, too. As I go through the rest of the bag, I realize that all of the rest of the gifts are mine.

Spreading them out, I see that Mia really gave me a lot. I open the first thing and see that it’s a green dinosaur. She remembered that my favorite animal was a dinosaur. I open up the next thing that’s sort of heavy and see that it’s some manga. I bet she asked one of the members what I don’t have because it’s everything that I’m interested in but don’t have.

I reach for the final gift and open it to reveal a box. Gently, I open the box and see a necklace inside. I take the necklace out and look at it. It’s beautiful and I already feel tears welling in my eyes. Mia got a necklace for me and it even has B1A5 on it. I laugh at it, I guess her blood type is A. She probably wanted me to wear it and people wouldn’t notice if they didn’t know about our relationship that she changed the number. She’s so clever.

After I clearly set all of the gifts down, I pick up the note and gently open it. As I start reading it, the tears start coming out again.

 

Gongchan-oppa

 

This year is our first Christmas together as boyfriend and girlfriend; I hope we have a lot more! I know that I didn’t really get you a lot this year for Christmas. I bought the dinosaur and manga first before thinking that I should get you something more. I was debating between the necklace or a watch, but I figured that the necklace would be nicer. Don’t you enjoy how I changed the last letter? I guess you probably figured that my blood type is A. I’ll make this letter short because I’m sure that we’re going to spend more time together. In short, I love you, alright? I don’t know if I’ll say those words by then, but just in case I don’t, this can be the first. I love you and I always will.

 

Mia

 

I stare at the letter that Mia wrote for me and quickly wipe away my tears. Mia, what have I done to you?

 

Mia’s POV

I stare out of the hospital window with thoughts running through my mind. It’s been weeks since I’ve been looking out the same window. Apparently the injuries were much worse than they previously thought so I have to stay here longer, although I’m not sure how much longer.

“How are you feeling today?” Dad asks coming into the hospital room.

“Fine,” I mumble. I guess I still feel some resent towards him because he was the one that made me run out of the restaurant that day and the one that caused me to get beaten.

Still though, I’m mad at Gongchan, too and I’m sad. Regarding him, I’m just a whole mix of emotions that I don’t even understand. I glance at the ring that’s sitting on the table. I read his letter and I got the ring from Baro, who visits me every weekend. I haven’t worn it yet, though. It just sits on the table and I stare at it.

“Are you still thinking about that boy?” Dad asks in an attempt to start some conversation.

“Maybe,” I say sighing. “What does it matter to you?”

“I’m only thinking about what’s best for you.”

“Whatever,” I say. I don’t care what he has to say anymore. Because of him, I’ve had to leave behind everything, but it’s also because of Gongchan, too. He was the one that told my father that he could bring me back. Baro told me the whole story already. He told me everything that happened while I was unconscious.

Even though the letter said that we could keep in touch with each other, I haven’t kept in touch with Gongchan and he hasn’t kept in touch with me. It’s like our relationship never existed between the two of us.

Should breaking up with my first boyfriend feel like this? I don’t know. I feel angry towards him, but I know that I’ll never be able to stay angry for long when I think about it. Maybe I should just try to forget about him altogether.

“Your friend should be coming by today or tomorrow, right?”

“Right,” I tell him. “It takes almost thirteen hours for a flight to reach here.”

“At least you have friends that come and visit you.”

“I have friends anyway,” I coolly say.

“Right, I was mistaken,” Dad says giving me a smile. “Mia, can’t you just be happy?”

“How can I be happy when I’m stuck in a hospital room? I can’t move from the bed or anything.”

“That’s because they said that your injuries were worse than they thought. It’s for your own safety, alright?”

“And my own safety was bringing me here, too? Dad, I’m tired of excuses, alright?”

“And I’ll never give you excuses again,” he says. “I just wanted to stop by before I head off to work. You’ll be fine here, right?”

“Aren’t I always?” I ask. “I’ve been here for how long.”

“Sorry,” Dad says before walking out.

I go back to daydreaming and staring out the window. Thirteen hours until Baro arrives and I get to see him again. It seems like forever, but it’s only the morning. I’m sure I can do something until he arrives tonight or tomorrow morning.

Throughout the day, the doctors go through their normal routine of checking up on me sometimes and the nurses go through their normal routine of delivering me food. During the afternoon, when I’m the most bored, I take out things that reminded me of the time that I spent in Korea. Maybe I shouldn’t do that because it stirs the memories of Gongchan, but I try to look past that and remember all of the good times that we spent together. That’s how I spend my days alone.

 

Gongchan’s POV

“What are these?” Sandeul asks seeing the presents and running up to them.

“Oh, yeah,” I say sitting up from the couch and wiping my eyes from the nap that I just took.

“Are these fan presents?” Jinyoung asks.

“They’re from Mia,” I say moving over on the couch so he’s able to sit down.

“Mia?” Shinwoo asks slightly surprised.

“Suzy delivered them earlier when you guys were at your recording,” I say.

“And I take it that Baro already left?” Jinyoung asks as he points to Baro’s present that’s still sitting there.

“Yeah, he left shortly after you guys did,” I tell them.

“And you didn’t want to go?” Sandeul asks.

“Do I ever want to go?” I ask them and they just stare at me.

“Why not?” Shinwoo asks. “I heard that Mia’s been up for a while. Maybe it’ll be nice if you see her again, for the both of you.”

“Look, you’ve been moping around forever. Why not take one weekend off and go see her?”

“It’s not that easy,” I tell them. “She’s in danger when she’s around me.”

“Gong Chanshik, that’s something that you’re going to have to overcome!” Sandeul yells. “Just because of that one incident doesn’t mean that Mia’s going to be in danger forever.”

“Yes it is,” I say sighing. “I live the life of an idol. People are always going to be around and threatening anyone that I date. I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life.”

“Anyway, we should give Mia a call and thank her for these gifts,” Jinyoung says taking out his phone.

“Whoa, I got the Wonder Girls CD,” Sandeul comments.

“I got f(x),” Shinwoo says.

As Jinyoung calls Mia, I get up and go to my room. I can’t bring myself to hear the sound of her voice. I did wrong and I don’t deserve to go back with her. I’m the one that broke up with her; I’m the one that sent her back to America all because I couldn’t protect her.

Maybe that’s the problem. I couldn’t protect Mia so I don’t want to see her or be in a relationship that’ll put more harm towards her. Sandeul’s probably right. This whole thing is a problem that I need to overcome, but I’m pretty sure that I’ll never be able to overcome it, not ever or ever. I’ll just spend the rest of my life single.

 

Mia’s POV

“Jinyoung-oppa?” I ask answering my phone early in the morning.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Jinyoung asks. “I forgot about the time difference.”

“I was going to get up anyway,” I joke.

“Well, you still sound sleepy,” he remarks with a chuckle.

“Why are you calling?” I ask.

“The guys and I just wanted to thank you for our Christmas presents, even if they’re late.”

“Ah, so you got them?” I ask. “Suzy delivered them to you?”

“She did, although we weren’t in the dorm until now. Gongchan got them for us.”

“Oh,” I say suddenly becoming silent at the sound of his name.

“He’s grateful for his, I’m sure as all of us are. I’ll put the rest of the guys on. Wait a minute,” Jinyoung announces. I hear shuffling in the background as the phone gets handed off before someone starts speaking.

“Mia!” Shinwoo says into the phone.

“Hey, oppa,” I say with a smile on my face. Some of the nurses passing by are probably wondering why I’m smiling like that.

“I really liked the CD. I’ll listen to it intently every day,” he says.

“You don’t have to do that, you’ll hurt your ears,” I tell him.

“Fine, because you said that I’ll take care of my ears,” he jokes. “I hope you get released soon and we’ll all make a group trip out there when we have time.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” I say as I see Baro come into the room. “Baro-oppa is getting kind of boring.”

“Hey, who are you talking to?” Baro asks coming over to me.

“Shinwoo-oppa,” I respond to him and Baro simply nods his head before sitting his bag and himself over on the couch before he lies down to sleep. That happens sometimes because of his jet-lag.

“Is Baro there already?” Shinwoo asks.

“He just walked in,” I tell them. “But he’s sleeping, or at least tired.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll pass you to Sandeul,” Shinwoo says as I hear more shuffling in the background before Sandeul’s voice gets on the line.

“Mia! Have you missed Sandeul-oppa a lot?”

“Of course,” I tell him.

“I really liked the CD, thank you,” he brightly says. I can only imagine what his face looks like over the phone. “And like Shinwoo-hyung said, we’re going to make an effort to come visit you sometime. Maybe next week.”

“That sounds great. I do miss all of you.”

“And we miss all of you here. Don’t worry, when we come we’ll bring presents for you. They’re a must.”

“Sure they are, oppa.”

“They are, everyone enjoys gifts,” Sandeul says. “I hope Baro is there keeping you company well, if not I’ll beat his . You can put him on.”

“Baro-oppa,” I call. Lazily, Baro lifts his head and looks at me. “Sandeul-oppa wants you on the phone.”

“Jeez what does this kid want now?” Baro asks as he takes the phone.

The two of them start having a quite heated conversation before the phone gets passed to me and Jinyoung is on the line again. “Mia, do you want to talk to Channie?” Jinyoung asks. At the mention of Gongchan, my heart skips a beat, but I don’t let Jinyoung know or even Baro.

“No, it’s alright. I’m sure he enjoys his presents just the same.”

“Okay. Well, we all hope for your fast recovery and hopefully we’ll be able to see you soon.”

“Hopefully.”

“Okay, goodbye,” Jinyoung says before he hangs up the phone.

“Goodbye,” I say. I hang up the phone and look at Baro. “Hello oppa.”

“Hey,” Baro says coming over and hugging me. “How have you been in the past week that I’ve been gone?”

“The same,” I say sighing. “Nothing different ever happens here.”

“Well now I’m here and like they mentioned, they might come visit one time, if the schedule allows,” he explains as he drags up a chair.

“You know, you don’t have to keep visiting me if your schedule doesn’t let you,” I tell him.

“Nonsense,” Baro says shaking his head. “I enjoy visiting you and I don’t want to leave you all alone here. You’re not interfering with anything.”

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“Positive,” he says as he touches my cheek. “I like spending time with you, how many times do I have to tell you that?”

“You’ve told me a lot,” I say smiling at him as he smiles back.

 

Gongchan’s POV

“You should’ve talked to Mia,” Jinyoung says coming into the room.

“I don’t want to,” I say shaking my head.

“We all talked to her. You’re the only one that didn’t.”

“Oh,” I manage to mutter.

“Channie, why can’t you knock some sense into yourself?” Jinyoung asks coming over and grabbing me by the shoulders.

“Hyung,” I say looking at him.

“Look, we know that you’re heartbroken, that you made Mia go back to America because you were afraid for her, we all understand that, but you can’t just ignore her forever. What if she comes back here one day? What if you guys meet randomly? Are you just going to pass by each other without a second thought on what type of relationship you guys had?”

I stare at Jinyoung as he says those words. What am I going to do if I were ever to meet Mia again? Would we act like strangers?

“Hyung, I don’t think I could do it,” I whisper.

“What did you say?” Jinyoung asks.

“I don’t think I could ever meet her again?”

“Why not?” he asks softening a bit as he pulls up a chair across from me.

“I’ve caused her too much pain. I broke up with her, I sent her to a different country. What worth do I have to see her again?” I ask.

Jinyoung sighs as he looks at me. “Channie, the rest of us are as experienced with girlfriends as you are, so we don’t know much, but if you really love each other, then you’ll come back to each other.”

“How are you so sure?” I ask him.

“I’m not, but you should be prepared.”

“Prepared for what?”

“Next week we’re all going to go visit Mia in America and that’s final.”

“Hyung,” I complain.

“I’m going to talk to Manager-hyung about it. We’re going to go, it’s final, alright?”

I watch as Jinyoung goes to the door and leaves. “Remember Channie, you have to face it sometime,” he says as he closes the door.

Once I’m alone I stare at the necklace that’s sitting on my desk. Mia and I do love each other and I told her in the letter that our rings are our little bond together. I wonder if she’s wearing hers because I wear mine every day. I never take it off. Even if the press and fans know that Mia and I are broken up for the time being, I keep it on. Does she?

 

Mia’s POV

“I see the ring is sitting here like always,” Baro says picking it up and looking at it. “Are you ever going to wear it?”

“Someday,” I sigh as I take it from him and look at it myself. “But not today.”

“Why not? Is it a painful reminder?”

“I don’t know,” I say shrugging my shoulders. “For some reason I just don’t feel like I should be wearing it right now. Maybe after I get released from the hospital.”

“When will that be?”

“Who knows? The doctors have to give the clearing,” I tell him. “But if I get released, does that mean that you aren’t going to visit anymore?”

“Hey, I’ll always visit,” Baro says grabbing my hand. “Who knows, you may even move back to Korea.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Hey, you just might. Your sister is over there, Suzy is over there, and the rest of us are over there. I’m sure your father will let you go back.”

“Or maybe not,” I mutter.

“Have some faith, alright?”

“I had faith in my relationship and you see how well that worked out,” I angrily say.

“Mia, you know that I like you, right?” Baro asks. I nod my head. “But do you want to know why I haven’t done anything? Why I haevn’t asked you out or even kissed you? It’s because I know that you belong with Gongchan, alright? As much as it pains me, you and Gongchan are good for each other.”

“I don’t think so,” I say shaking my head.

“You’ll see someday,” Baro says smiling.

 

Gongchan,

I’m sitting here in a hospital with Baro while you’re in Korea living your life. Will our paths ever cross again? Sometimes I miss you and sometimes I completely despise you. I don’t know what I feel about you anymore.

 

Signed,

Mia

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Will Mia and Gongchan ever be able to face each other again? Will the members of B1A4 successfully visit the next weekend? When will Mia be discharged from the hospital?

 

Here is Chapter 23. Hope you enjoyed :D

I think I feel an ending coming along for this fic. Perhaps a few more chapters until the end.