#45: The God Gene (Part 6)
Multiple person-centric

Kyungsoo knelt down and brushed his fingers over the ground, soaking in the feeling of life and a healthy Earth. An image began to form in his mind, a picture he’d seen in a book. Thinking of all the little statues he used to make, Kyungsoo dug his fingers into the ground and imagined the form of a dinosaur, a plant eater with a long neck and a name he didn’t dare try to pronounce. He felt the image taking shape from the dirt, and he concentrated on making it bigger, and bigger, and bigger…a shadow fell over him, and when Kyungsoo opened his eyes there was a dinosaur as tall as a building standing over him—trees lined it’s back and it was covered in grass and moss, Kyungsoo could feel boulders and even more trees and foliage inside the thing—it was all solid earth. Kyungsoo stood up and paced around his creation, feeling how powerful and incredible the thing was, and suddenly he thought about how great it would be if it could move. Curious, he laid his hand on its side and imagined the legs moving, and slowly the great earthen creation began to move as well, it’s feet lifting into the air and landing on the earth with a thunderous crash—

Kyungsoo’s eyes flew open and he sat up gasping, looking frantically around the room. It was dark, he was in a stranger’s house surrounded by his brothers, all of whom were asleep.

Kyungsoo fell back on the floor, a hand pressed to his head as he continued to imagine the dinosaur in his dream. He had created it out of earth and then made it move, where the heck had that dream come from? Was it a sign? Was this how his power had intensified?

“Impossible,” he whispered. “There’s no way…”

But wasn’t there? Could he not make such creations on a large scale if he tried? And as long as it remained connected to the ground somehow, did it not serve to assume he could make it move? Even now that he was awake, Kyungsoo could feel the power in his creation, the possibilities it gave him, it was almost like he could feel his gift thrumming under his skin, in his fingertips…

Kyungsoo’s head was spinning, and even though sunrise was a long way off, he knew he wouldn’t be going back to sleep.

Baekhyun looked Chanyeol over and tried to keep a handle on his emotions. “You’re different,” he said stiffly.

Chanyeol looked heartbroken. “I’m not,” he protested weakly.

“The boy I knew when I was ten wouldn’t have thought this was okay,” Baekhyun fired back. “The older Guardians are superior to us for a reason, Chanyeol, it’s not our place to discipline them!”

“Will you listen to yourself!” Chanyeol cried. “You sound like…you sound so old fashioned!”

“It’s what we were taught!”

“By people who didn’t really care about us!” Chanyeol fired back, “And do you really expect me to be the same person I was all those years ago? After all we’ve been through? You’ve changed,” he pointed out. “You lost some of your fire.”

“How dare you,” Baekhyun growled. “I haven’t lost anything.” Chanyeol gave him a pitying look and it only made Baekhyun angrier. “Stop it,” he snarled, “I’m not different, I’m not!”

“Yes you are,” Chanyeol said gently. “You’re hiding what you want. You’re afraid to admit it.”

“I am not,” Baekhyun insisted.

“You did want revenge, once,” Chanyeol reminded him. “When you were a child. You wanted to know why your town thought it would be okay to use you as bait. You wanted to know why the Guardians who came to rescue you were so cold.”

Baekhyun shut his eyes against those memories. When he had been taken from his town, he hadn’t been told where he was going. It was just five men, all of them with pale, waxen skin and sunken eyes telling Baekhyun to come with them. He’d been scared, and he had started to cry. They had no patience for that, and all but dragged him out of the room he'd known for the last five years. They hadn’t spoken to him at all on the way to the Sanctuary, and he'd cried by himself the entire time.

“They deserve to be punished for that,” Chanyeol said, cutting through Baekhyun’s thoughts. “They deserve to be punished for being so jealous that they not only kept us away, they were openly hostile to you when you were just a child. They shouldn’t have treated you the way they did.”

Baekhyun could feel his shoulders shaking and he backed away from Chanyeol, hugging himself. “I don’t think about it.”

Chanyeol stepped closer, holding his hand out. “It’s okay,” he said gently. “You don’t have to think about it anymore. I’ll think about it for you, I’ll get even with them for you. I know you’re scared—”

“Do you really know?” Baekhyun snapped. “Then tell me why you think I'm so scared?”

Chanyeol gave him a look that was a mix of sad and proud. “You’re afraid that you’ll kill someone without meaning to.”

Baekhyun shut his eyes and hung his head as he started to cry. “How can you know this?” He whimpered. “I was hiding it, I wasn’t thinking, I was doing so well…” he sobbed harder. “Damn you Park Chanyeol, sometimes I really hate you!”

Chanyeol hugged him and Baekhyun sagged against his chest, crying into his shirt. “You don’t hate me,” Chanyeol said. “You love me. You hate that I know you well enough to see through you. And I’m proud of you for knowing yourself well enough to hold back, but don’t think that just because you can't do this, it means you won’t get to have your revenge.”

Baekhyun stepped back, wiping his eyes. “Just how far are you willing to go for me?” He asked, sounding more feeble than cross.

Chanyeol reached out to help Baekhyun dry his face, and he stared deep into Baekhyun’s eyes. “I would do anything for you.”

A shiver ran down Baekhyun’s spine, and he looked away.

Jongin had been right about Yixing not being on board for his plan. He didn’t cry, but he did look extremely uncomfortable and made Jongin promise not to hurt anybody. Jongin hadn’t been able to promise that, so Yixing changed it to hurt anybody innocent, and that Jongin could agree to.

He hadn’t been prepared for Xiumin’s level of distaste for the idea, though.

“I think you’re making a mistake,” he said bluntly. “And I’m not okay with it.”

“You don’t have to join me,” Jongin said quickly.

“No,” Xiumin agreed. “I just have to turn a blind eye to something I think is wrong.”

Jongin started to get nervous. Xiumin was close to being downright hostile, and he’d never seen this side to his older brother before. Even so, he couldn’t let Xiumin walk all over him. “It’s better than being a doormat,” he countered, his face heating up. “I’m not going to let them think they can just walk all over us like that.”

“There are better ways to go about that,” Xiumin said crossly, “I don’t know if you realize this, but you’re basically talking about getting what you want through intimidation!”

“They should be intimidated by us,” Jongin threw back. “We’re not just stronger than them, Xiumin! We’re smarter, we’ve been through more trials than they can even imagine—”

Xiumin cut him off. “That doesn’t make us better than them.”

“Maybe not,” Jongin sniffed, “But it sure as hell makes us more mature. They turned us away because we were the Tree’s new favorites, and they didn’t like it.”

“Who told you that?” Xiumin asked.

“Chanyeol did,” Jongin said. “And I happen to agree with him. All the blame rests with the first Generation, if they hadn’t gotten so pettily jealous and let the Tree explain itself, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“You don’t know if that’s true,” Xiumin argued.

“And you don’t know if it’s a lie,” Jongin pointed out.

Xiumin sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you over this…”

“Too bad,” Jongin snapped. “You’re acting like I’m…like I’m a child who had a toy stolen from them! This is beyond that, Xiumin, this is about my life, your life, Suho’s life! This is about the childhood we didn’t get to have, this is about Lu Han and Sehun, how much they suffered for this, this means something to me! To all of us!”

“And you’re acting like I don’t give a damn about all of that!” Xiumin said hotly. “Just because I think you’re going about it the wrong way doesn’t mean I don’t care about all that!”

“What should we do?” Jongin asked, “Have a sit down? Talk to them?”

“We could try!” Xiumin cried.

“Fine,” Jongin said, folding his arms across his chest. “You talk to them, and when they laugh in your face I’ll be there to say I told you so.” And with that he walked away.

Later Jongin told the story to Chen, Tao and Chanyeol.  Chanyeol sighed and said, “Well you could have handled that better,” and Jongin shoved him off their log.

Xiumin approached Jongin the next day. He held up his hands before Jongin could say anything. “No matter what, you’re my brother and I love you,” he said carefully. “But the fact is that I’m just not going to agree with you on this. I won’t force you to do anything, I won’t even ask you to wait and let me talk to them, instead I’m just going to hope that you’ll change your mind. I understand where you’re coming from, and I know…that things have been hard for you, and you need some kind of closure. So I won’t hold this against you, no matter what you decide.”

Jongin swallowed his pride and nodded. “I understand,” he said softly. “And thank you for…for telling me.”

They hugged and Jongin knew that while Xiumin still loved him, and he loved Xiumin, there was going to be a tension between them that wouldn’t go away.

Jongin caught Yixing sitting on a log all alone, away from the rest of the group one day not too long after their conversation about Jongin’s plans. Or at least, Jongin thought Yixing was alone until he got closer.

“It’s nice to see you’re not afraid of her anymore,” Jongin commented as he got closer, watching Lucy weave through Yixing’s legs, curling her tail around his calf. She’d gotten very big over the last few months and very fat, thanks to everyone sneaking her meat.

“We had a lot of cats at my home,” Yixing said softly, scratching Lucy behind her ears. “I loved playing with them when I was a kid, but they’re usually very finicky creatures. I don’t think any one of them would have been content to follow a group of twelve boys across a deserted world.”

Jongin chuckled and sat down next to Yixing, holding his fingers out to Lucy. She sniffed them and butted her head against Jongin’s hand. “She’s smart enough to know that if she sticks with us, she’ll be well fed.”

Yixing nodded. “Hunger is a powerful thing.”

Jongin remembered that Lucy had initially died of starvation, and wondered if he’d accidentally struck a chord. “Before…when it was just Sehun, Lu Han and me…” he paused, trying to collect himself. “We went hungry a lot. There wasn’t a lot of food nearby, and I was afraid to leave Lu Han alone, and even more afraid to leave Sehun alone with Lu Han. Sehun wouldn’t leave, and any food I gave him he always gave straight to Lu Han. We would have died if we hadn’t been…you know,” he finished lamely, not sure how to say it.

“Immortal?” Yixing offered.

“We’re not immortal,” Jongin said quietly. “We can get hurt. We can die, not in the sense that our consciousness ends, but those people back home? They’re dead spiritually. Sehun and I were dead spiritually too, for almost nine years. It’s hard coming back from that…the way we did. Sehun got over it much faster than I did, that’s for sure.”

Yixing finally looked over at him. “You never talk about what happened,” he said plainly. “Is it because it hurts too much? Or do you just not want to?”

Jongin shrugged. “I talked to Kris.”

“Not Suho?”

“I could have,” Jongin admitted, “But…at the time, Kris was the only one available.” Yixing looked confused, and Jongin continued. “Do you remember right after we found you again? How cold I was to you, Baekhyun and…Chen,” his voice broke a little on Jongdae’s other name. “I blamed you guys for leaving me alone for a long time. I blamed Suho too, and everyone else except Tao and Kris because they’d been locked up. I was just so angry, and hurt, and I couldn’t…couldn’t handle the thought that it was my fault that I was alone. I was lashing out at anything, looking for any reason, and at the time it was the best one I could come up with. Kris was the one who talked me down, made me remember that you had all suffered too, wondering just how bad it was, or if we were even really alive anymore. Part of the reason why I’m doing this, and I’m sure you know this already, is because I’m still so mad that it happened.” He smiled a little ruefully. “It may be childish of me to hold a grudge for this long, but seeing how badly Lu Han was hurt and how Sehun took it…Sehun was my first friend, I love them both so much and I was absolutely powerless to help them.”

Jongin knew he was about to cry, and he looked away from Yixing. “That was torture, watching what they had to go through. Bad enough losing a friend but…it made me realize just how much Sehun loves Lu Han. He was destroyed when Lu Han was Lost, I felt like I was watching them both die. That kind of hurt doesn’t just go away, and as childish as it sounds I need to blame someone. It has to be someone’s fault. I want to know who tampered with our ship. It was built by a Guardian, it should have been able to avoid the asteroids and it didn’t. Whoever did that cause Lu Han to get hurt, and they need to pay for that.”

After a few moments, Jongin felt a hand on his shoulder. “I am so sorry that this happened to you,” Yixing said tearfully.

Jongin wiped his eyes, but he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “I know you are, and I’m sorry for the way I treated you that first week.”

Yixing laughed a little. “Actually I had pretty much forgotten about it.”

Jongin looked up again and managed to smile. “Chen said the same thing.”

Yixing looked surprised. “You told him all of this?”

“He’s my husband now,” Jongin reminded him. “I told him I was sorry a long time ago, before I even told him why I was so mad.”

“But you did tell him that,” Yixing clarified.

“Only recently,” Jongin admitted. “After we were married. I wasn’t ready to talk about it before then.”

Yixing held up his fingers. “So you’ve only told me, Chen and Kris so far?”

Jongin nodded. “I’ll probably tell the others at some point. I’m sure Suho already knows but the others…I need time. I don’t like talking about it.”

Yixing nodded. “I understand that. And thanks for telling me, it really puts all this into perspective.”

Jongin laughed. “Has it made you change your mind?”

“No,” Yixing sighed. “I almost wish it did, but…I have to be honest with myself.”

“And I respect that,” Jongin said quickly. “I wouldn’t try to force you to change your mind.”

Yixing hesitated, biting his lip. “Kai…what if the Tree doesn’t approve of your plans?”

Jongin didn’t even have to think about his answer. “The Tree doesn’t control us. It wouldn’t try to stop me.”

“I’m not saying it would,” Yixing said, “Just…if it doesn’t think that you’re right, would it not affect you at all?”

Jongin shook his head. “No, it wouldn’t. But again, it would never happen. The Tree gives us free will, and it’s…seen part of what I went through. It knows I’m hurt. It probably knew I would want justice for what happened before I even did.”

Jongin could see the hurt on Yixing’s face. “Sometimes I wish the Tree was more controlling,” he said quietly. “If it was, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe it would have been able to explain things to the first generation, and we wouldn’t be like this.”

Jongin nodded. “That could have happened, but as I’ve been told before, you can’t think in ‘Maybe’ and ‘What if,’ or you’ll drive yourself crazy.”

Yixing gave him a sad smile. “After all that’s happened to us, do you really think that any one of us isn’t crazy?”

Kyungsoo felt like he was sleep walking. Images shivered in and out of his vision, he was staggering every few feet, and even though his brain felt like a waterlogged sponge, his skin was tingling with excess energy to the point where he wanted to crawl out of his own body.

“Kyungsoo?”

He looked up and found Xiumin sitting in front of him, concern etched on his face. “Are you okay? You look exhausted.”

Kyungsoo found it in him to smile. “I’m having really weird dreams lately,” he admitted. “I’m not sleeping very well.” He glanced over at Tao. “Tao doesn’t look much better,” he pointed out.

Xiumin frowned and huffed. “Every time I try to go over to him, Kris and Suho shoo me away. They say Tao just needs some time to himself, but I don’t think they know what’s wrong with him either. I’m betting it’s something to do with Kai.”

“Kai?” Kyungsoo echoed. “How did you figure that out?”

Xiumin sighed. “Kai walked off with Tao a week ago and when they came back, Tao looked like he’d seen a ghost. He’s been like that ever since, and now you’re acting a lot like him.”

Kyungsoo waved his hand. “it’s nothing to do with Kai,” he slurred. “I’m just tired.”

“I can see,” Xiumin said. “You want to room with me tonight? Come on, the apartment Kris and Suho are eyeing isn’t far away, I’ll help you walk.”

Kyungsoo fell asleep just outside the building, and Xiumin had to carry him up the stairs and tuck him into their shared bed. Kyungsoo woke up in the middle of the night, energy thrumming through his body and making him squirm. He sat up and for the first time all week, the world didn’t spin. He stretched his arms over his head, feeling better than he had in a while. He was about to get up and walk around a bit when he felt something shift, something imperceptible inside of him. He drew his legs up to his chest, his eyes darting around the room. He suddenly felt a lot less at ease.

Xiumin stirred in the bed beside him and slowly opened his eyes. “Kyungsoo, are you alright?”

“Hyung, wake up,” Kyungsoo said quietly. “I have something to ask you.”

Xiumin sat up and rubbed his eyes, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “Okay, I’m awake, now what is it?”

Kyungsoo shifted uneasily. “What if…what if we got so strong that not even the Tree could control us?”

Xiumin gave Kyungsoo a confused look. “What are you talking about? Stop us from what?”

Kyungsoo looked over at him, and with his face half in shadow and lit only by the moonlight, he looked much older than Xiumin had ever seen him look. “I mean,” Kyungsoo said slowly, “What if it’s power was useless on us? Even when it’s trying to help?”

For a moment Xiumin was lost, and then as he put the question into perspective and realized just who he was talking to, it hit him and he gasped, almost falling off the bed in shock. “What are you saying?” He demanded.

“You already know,” Kyungsoo said, his voice laced with awe. “My gift is back. The block the Tree put on me is gone.”

PLOT TWISTS LEFT AND RIGHT OHOHOHOHOHO. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS LATEST CURVEBALL, EH?

More on Kai and Tao’s adventures in screwing with time, er, next time around. Along with some HunHan. Yep, bringing them back in the next update, along with Baekyeol angst.

In other news, here’s a letter I wrote on the eventual sequel to this story—  http://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/648903 up until now the questions haven’t bothered me, but once you get up to this chapter and realize I’ve posted about it…well questions are kind of useless, because it’s going to be the same answer—“Not now.”

And here’s a letter about friending just because it’s getting ridiculous how many people friend me and I don’t even know who they are http://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/648883

Also, I'm back at school again :| First semester of my senior year in college, and it looks like a fun one so far, but I have to start my thesis paper this year, so updates might be slow in the upcoming months. Rest assured though, I'm not done with this story yet!