Continuity: After the previous drabble
Kris/Tao/Suho centric
Warning: Um…OT3.

#31:Love Sick

Give it back to me,
You took my heart without my knowing
You came into my heart without permission, without warning
Why did you shake me up?
You burn me up and make me cry
I pray for the day you will look at me and see

When Kris woke up with his face full of Suho’s hair he smiled to himself and sighed happily. This was nice, he could get used to this…the feeling of being so warm and happy even though he felt like he had to sneeze…

And then he imagined big, dark eyes looking up at him so heartbroken and lonely that it took his breath away. Kris sat up, pushing Suho off of him. Suho groaned and rolled over, blinking up at him sleepily.

“Wha’ happened?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.

Kris had to look away from him. “I…I don’t know. I feel bad.”

“Bad how?” Suho asked, sitting up. “Are you sick?”

Kris put his hand to his forehead. “Maybe…” he mumbled. “I’m sorry, I just…I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” Suho demanded.

Kris flashed back to the night before, to Suho’s fingers trailing down his cheek and over his chest, resting on top of his mark. Suho had said a lot of things, one of them being that he’d been wanting this, been wanting Kris, for a long time. They hadn’t gone beyond kissing, but it felt so much more intimate than that.

Kris refused to answer. He thought that there must be something wrong with him, here he had the love he’d been craving and yet it made him feel so awful. He turned his head away when Suho tried to kiss him.

“Did I say something wrong?” Suho asked. “Was it…too much?”

“Yes,” Kris said, latching on. “It was…I mean, thinking about it now, I’m not…I can’t…”

Suho smiled at him. “It’s okay,” he assured. “I’ve waited this long, I can wait longer.”

Kris felt his heart break even as he smiled. As soon as he got dressed, he ran to the room Xiumin and Tao were sharing, nearly breaking it down when he knocked.

Xiumin answered. “Oh, hang on I’ll go get…”

“No, I need you,” Kris said quickly, and he grabbed Xiumin’s hand and pulled him into the empty room across the hall.

Xiumin looked almost panicked. “What’s the matter? Did something happen?”

“Tao’s been hanging out with you a lot recently, right?” Kris asked. “Has he said anything to you that seemed off?”

“Off?” Xiumin echoed. “Well…he asks if I see him as grown up, sometimes.”

Kris swallowed nervously, wondering if he dared to ask. Kris had known Tao for a long time, and when they were younger it had been so easy to think of him as a brother but now…now he was grown up. He was mature, smart, funny, handsome and Kris felt so comfortable around him, like he didn’t even need to say anything for Tao to know how he felt. And he had a feeling that Tao felt the same way about him…

“Be honest with me,” Kris said in a hushed tone. “Do you think he likes me?”

Xiumin didn’t need clarification. “I think he’s crazy for you, but it’s complicated.”

Kris felt his stomach drop. “Complicated how?”

Xiumin shook his head. “I can’t answer that.”

Kris narrowed his eyes. “Can’t or won’t?”

But Xiumin said no more.

Tao thought he would have to be an idiot to miss the way Suho looked at Kris. He was honestly surprised that Kris missed it to be honest, if he was as lonely as he claimed. Then again, maybe Kris was just really dense, because Tao had been in love with him for years and he hadn’t…

Well, it wasn’t love at first. Or at least that’s what Xiumin told him.

“What you felt for him at first was hero worship,” He explained patiently after Tao had finished spilling what felt like his life story. “He was everything you wanted to be—confident, responsible, patient, caring…he was your emotional rock, he never turned you away or stayed mad at you. It’s normal to want that.”

“But you said felt,” Tao pointed out. “Past tense. So does that mean I love him now?”

Xiumin looked thoughtful. “You saw him break down. You saw him in a state of distress—weak, vulnerable and the total opposite of this image you had constructed of him. I think if you still want him even after that, then it could be love.”

Xiumin had then giving him a knowing look. “But I think this urge you have to let him be with Suho is even more telling. When you really care about someone, you want what’s best for them even if it hurts you more than anything.”

“How do you know that?” Tao asked wonderingly.

Xiumin grinned. “I read it in a book, and it makes sense to me. Also, I see the way you look at him. It’s the same way Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun.”

But apparently, Kris didn’t see it. Tao knew how much Suho cared about Kris, and since they were both leaders it made sense for them to fall in love. Who could be better suited for each other, who else could know what they went through? So Tao kept his mouth shut, even though it hurt to do so.

Suho honestly didn’t see it until he came across Kris crying in the woods. He had gone off to get firewood, and when he didn’t come back after twenty minutes, they all got worried. Tao insisted that Suho go off to find him, which at the time didn’t seem so weird. Suho went about fifty yards into the woods before he finally found his fellow leader. He was doubled over on his knees, his sweater balled up and pressed against his mouth to muffle his sobs.

Suho felt like his blood had turned to ice as he ran over. He dropped to the ground, anxiously grabbing Kris’ shoulders. “What happened?” He gasped. “Are you hurt?”

He tried to pull the sweater out of Kirs’ hands, but he had it in such a tight grip that it was impossible. He even ducked his head down further so Suho couldn’t take it. At the same time he started to cry harder, Suho could tell from how his shoulders were shaking.

“Kris, please,” He begged, “You’ll suffocate…you have to uncover your mouth, please!”

Kris finally obeyed, allowing the sweater to fall away. He fell onto his side, into Suho’s lap.

“I can’t do this,” Kris sobbed. “I’m so sorry…”

Suho heaved Kris into a more comfortable position and his hair back from his face. He must have been crying for a long time, Suho thought, because his breathing was labored and his face was streaked with tear tracks.

“It’s okay,” Suho crooned. “It’s okay, just tell me what’s wrong. We’ll fix it, I promise.”

If anything that only upset him more. “I can’t, you can’t…” Kris broke off with a cough. “You can’t help me…”

Suho desperately pushed Kris upright, but Kris kept his head lowered. “Look at me,” Suho commanded. “You need to sit up, you need to breathe.”

Kris turned his head and Suho turned it back. “You’ll hurt yourself,” he said sternly. “Listen to me!”

Finally Kris stopped trying to fight him, though he kept his eyes lowered. He took slow, even breaths and didn’t resist when Suho checked him for injuries. Finding none, Suho determined that it must have been an emotional issue.

“What’s this about?” He asked as gently as he could.

Kris shook his head. “I’ll only hurt you.”

“I’ll be hurt more watching you suffer,” Suho sighed. “You know that.”

Kris sniffled and wiped his eyes. “I…I do love you Suho…” he mumbled. “But…”

Suho’s heart lurched. “But…?”

Kris finally raised his eyes, looking absolutely devastated. “You’ll h-hate me,” he mumbled, and it was the slight stutter that made Suho’s heart break. He’d never heard Kris stutter before, for any reason.

“I won’t,” He promised quickly. “I could never hate you, never.”

There was a brief moment of hesitation. Then, “It’s Tao.”

Suho waited. “What about Tao?” He prompted.

Kris swallowed, looking like he was about to faint. “I love him too.”

Suho froze. Oh…oh. Well, that was news to him.

Two days later, Suho cornered Tao in an abandoned shopping mall that they had invaded. Kris was wandering off by himself, lost in a dark and gloomy mood ever since his confession. Suho could do nothing to snap him out of it, and he hated seeing the man he loved so depressed. Or if he wasn’t depressed yet, he was sure to become so very soon.

“We have to talk about Kris,” Suho mumbled as he pulled Tao off to the side. The shopping center was huge, but Suho didn’t want them being overheard.

“What about Kris?” Tao asked. “Is he okay?”

“No,” Suho said honestly. “He’s all torn up and I can’t make him better. I don’t know what else to do, I tried everything…”

“What are you talking about?” Tao demanded, pulling out of Suho’s grip. “You’re scaring me, what’s going on?”

Suho swallowed around a lump in his throat. “He wants you, Tao. He loves you.”

Tao froze. “What?”

“He loves you,” Suho repeated.

Tao started to smile. “He does? Really?” He looked absolutely elated, and Suho felt a brief flash of happiness for him before he remembered that it came at the expense of his own.

“By the Tree,” Tao gasped, carding his fingers through his hair. “I thought he…I never…” Then suddenly his smile slipped. “But he loves you!” He cried, pointing at Suho. “I saw how he looked at you, how you looked at him—you love Kris!”

“I know,” Suho almost snapped. “I told him, and he…he said he can’t be with me because he can’t hurt you.”

Tao looked like he was about to faint. “No,” he managed. “He’d never say that…he wouldn’t want to hurt you either.”

“I know,” Suho mumbled. “It took him three weeks to tell me, and I only found out because I made him say it. He said he could never take it if he hurt us both.”

“He won’t  be with either of us,” Tao gasped, covering his mouth. “He can’t make that choice…oh god,” he whimpered, tearing up. “He’d rather be alone his whole life than make a choice.”

“I know,” Suho cried. “I just…” he forced himself to calm down and take a deep breath. “That’s why I came to talk to you.”

Tao suddenly looked very frightened.

“I’m not going to eat you,” Suho laughed. “Calm down, don’t you trust me?”

Tao nodded slightly and relaxed. “So, what do we do?”

Suho bit his lip. “Well, if he won’t chose…maybe he can love both of us?”

Tao blinked at Suho. “What, you mean we share? Take turns? Isn’t that a little…?”

“No,” Suho said quickly. “No, Kris isn’t a toy, we can’t just take turns. I think it needs to be the three of us.”

“Together?” Tao cried. “At the same time?”

“It’s been done before,” Suho said defensively. “I read about a generation of Guardians who had a group of four who loved each other, and they made it work. If you love someone that much, you make it work.”

“I know,” Tao snapped. “But this is Kris we’re talking about! He’ll feel like he’s forcing us to be together against our will and hate himself for it.”

Suho had to laugh at that. “Wow, you really do know him well,” he chuckled.

Tao managed a smile too. “Kris is like that,” he murmured. “He thinks everything is his fault, even if there’s nothing horribly wrong with a situation. If something is even remotely off, he’s to blame.”

Suho gave Tao a sheepish look. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to prove him wrong.”

Tao looked at him curiously. “How?”

Suho took Tao’s hand. “By learning to love each other as well.”

Tao’s eyes widened. “Oh,” he gasped. Then he quickly cleared his throat. “That…shouldn’t be too hard. You’re pretty lovable, and we did spend a lot of time together when we were younger.”

Suho grinned at the memories of Tao hanging off his arm and crawling into his bed, begging for a story. “Yeah,” he said with a grin. “I think we can make this work.”

Kris felt like crap. No, he felt worse than that. He was hurting the two people he loved most in the world, the two people who loved him most, and he was powerless to stop it. Funny, he’d finally gotten what he wanted and now he was running from it. They had been hiding out in the mall for two weeks, and Kris had been dying while he tried to act normal around his friends. At least he got some peace at night—they’d found an entire room full of mattresses, and it was big enough where they could spread out and have some space. Kai and Chen were even enterprising enough to drag one into an abandoned store, though Kris could guess that their reasons for that weren’t so innocent.

They were all having dinner together, eating a few wild birds Lay had caught and Xiumin had cooked, along with some bags of chips and canned drinks. Kris looked across the table to where Suho and Tao were sitting. Actually, they looked quite cozy. Were they…looking at each other like…? Then Kris blinked and the moment passed. He shook himself, he was starting to get delusional from this.

He missed the wink Suho threw in Tao’s direction.

After dinner, Tao ran around the table and threw himself in Kris’ lap. “Ge, can you walk with me?” He asked softly. “We haven’t hung out in a long time…”

Kris found it in him to smile. “Of course we can,” he said lightly, ruffling Tao’s hair.

They got up and started walking, after a moment Kris heard footsteps behind them and turned to see Suho running after them.

“Wait up!” He called.

Kris froze and Tao tugged on his arm. “It’s just Suho,” he teased. “Don’t be so scared.”

Kris forced a smile. “Who’s scared?”

“You are,” Suho panted, finally having caught up. He stopped, hands on his knees, and tried to catch his breath.

Tao scoffed. “Look at how winded you are, and you think you can keep up with both of us at the same time?”

“Hey!” Suho protested, “I am only winded because you two have much longer legs than me.”

Tao laughed, and Kris looked frantically between the two of them. He knew that the pair of them got on well, but well enough to tease like this? What was going on?

“Hey,” Suho said again, this time soothingly. He placed his hand on Kris’ shoulder. “Really, don’t look so worried.”

“How could I be anything but?” Kris asked, surprised at how even his voice was. “You two are acting like you’re hiding something from me. Are you?”

Suho smiled gently. “Nothing you won’t like. Tao is in love with you.”

Kris looks at Tao wide eyed. “You are? But…”

“Suho was worried about you—” Tao started.

“And I’m sorry I said something without telling you—” Suho continued desperately.

“We’re both worried,”

“We had to do something,”

“It was the only way he could—”

“Whoa,” Kris interrupted, holding up his hands. He looked back and forth between them. “Are you saying you’re both in love with me?”

The pair of them nodded.

Kris gaped at them. “And you’re…okay with that?”

They nodded once more.

“Why?” Kris demanded. “Aren’t you furious with each other?”

“How could we be?” Suho gasped. “We love each other, we could never hurt any one of our group that way.”

Kris narrowed his eyes. “And are you mad at me?”

“Why would we be?” Tao asked. “You didn’t do anything wrong…”

Kris looked at Suho. “I kissed you, I said that I wanted and needed you, and then I told you that it could never work out because I was in love with Tao as well.”

He turned to Tao. “And I didn’t say a word to you even though I knew how sad you were.”

Tao’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “I don’t blame you for that,” he said tearfully. “I can’t even—we can’t even imagine how difficult this must be for you, and we don’t blame you at all for being scared and confused.”

Kris felt his eyes feel with tears. “So…you really don’t hate me? Either of you?”

Suho threw his arms around Kris’ shoulders. “Of course we don’t,” He said, his voice muffled by Kris’ shoulder. “We love you.”

Kris sighed shakily and hugged Suho tightly, looking over at Tao as he did so. Tao stepped closer and joined the hug.

“If it’s alright with you,” Tao said softly, “We’re willing to work out a relationship between the three of us.”

Kris pulled back and stared at them incredulously. “Of course it’s alright with me,” he cried, “Is it alright with you?”

Suho and Tao grinned at each other. “I think we’ll all be fantastic for each other,” Suho said happily. Tao responded by kissing Suho on the cheek, and then doing the same to Kris, who looked a bit stunned.

“Okay then,” Kris managed. “I just…wow. By the Tree,” he laughed. “This is going to be interesting.”

Part two of my OT3.

Well well, this is a fast update! Don't get used to it :|