Lu Han & Yixing-centric
Continuity: Chapter 2

#3: Lay

Yixing paced around his room, biting his nails and rereading the letter he’d snatched from Kris’ hand. He turned the paper over, hoping for a PS, an asterisk, an explanation of any kind. Why him? Why now?

The sentence at the very bottom of the letter seemed to take on a life of its own, the letters jumping off of the page and jabbing at him. ‘Pay attention to us,’ they chanted, demanding his full concentration.

‘Please inform Zhang Yixing that we have changed his name to Lay, in honor of Zhou Lay, a recently deceased scholar whose contribution to our understanding of the solar system has been indefinable.’

Zhou Lay. Yixing didn’t even know the man, and now he was to be considered a living plaque dedicated in his honor. It was degrading. Even in his head the words sounded cold. And, he realized with a jolt, they had been written in a different handwriting from the one at the top. Like they were an afterthought in their own right.

“Oh,” Yizing said aloud, “Maybe we should inform this child that we’re changing his name. Oops, I mean have changed his name, have. As in already done who knows how long ago, now everyone just knows about it!!”

Yixing flung the paper aside and kicked his dresser.

“This isn’t fair!” He screamed. “I’m Yixing, not Lay! I’ll never answer to Lay, I don’t care what anyone says. It’s not my name!!”

And with that he turned around and collapsed on his bed. His breathing was labored and he felt like he could either rampage through the Southern sanctuary and break everything in it, or sit on his bed and cry for a week.

Naturally the second choice was the easiest, but crying for a week was so undignified for a seven year old. Although, he had only just turned seven…

Yixing buried his face in his pillow to muffle a pathetic whimper. At home he had been almost famous for being such a bright, well-behaved child. His mother had once commented on the fact that he’d been such an agreeable child even when he was a newborn, rarely crying and sleeping through the night more often than not. Well, at least now he was finally losing his cool where she couldn’t see him.

His internal monologue was interrupted by a soft knock on his door.

“GO AWAY!” He yelled, figuring that it was a Matron who had overheard his little tantrum. He would pay later for being rude, right now he didn’t care.

“But I brought cookies…”

Oh, it was only Lu Han, Yixing realized.

“Oh, you can come in,” he said awkwardly. He sat up and tried to look presentable and not like he’d just had a fit.

Lu Han slipped in quietly and padded over with a plate of leftover cookies from yesterday. They had wild nuts in them and they were Yixing’s favorite. He took one with a muttered ‘Thanks,’ not meeting Lu Han’s eyes. They had only known each other for two months, and he was a little shy around the older boy, who seemed so innocent and child-like Yixing sometimes wondered how he could even be a Guardian.

“Are you alright?” Lu Han asked, seating himself on Yixing’s bed. They were close enough that there arms brushed, and though Yixing would never admit it he kind of wished he duck under Lu Han’s arm and stay there for a while. He was dying for human contact.

Instead, Yixing opted for a feeble assertion that yes, he was fine.

Lu Han gave him a skeptical look. “You seemed pretty upset when you ran out of the dining hall.”

Yixing felt tears gather in his eyes and he flushed from embarrassment.

“’M just tired,” Yixing said through a mouthful of crumbs. Suddenly eating was the last thing on his mind, even if the cookies were his favorite.

He half expected to be called out on the lie, but instead Lu Han moved the cookie plate to the dresser and pulled the blankets back from the bed, motioning for Yixing to lie down.

“Then you should sleep,” he said, giving Yixing a gentle shove. In what he thought was a moment of weakness, Yixing clung to Lu Han’s arm.

“Will you stay with me?” He asked, sounding every bit the seven year old he was.

Lu Han took his hand. “Of course I will,” he said kindly, and that was all it took for Yixing to start crying. Lu Han tugged him over to his bed and made him lie down, and then he tucked Yixing’s head under his chin and let him cry all over his shirt. Even when he finally stopped, Yixing refused to let go of Lu Han.

“I’ve always been Yixing,” he whispered. “I can’t suddenly be Lay, I just can’t. I don’t know who Lay is, I don’t know how to be him. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to honor a dead scholar. I’m just a kid, I can’t do this.” And he dissolved into tears again.

“What’s in a name?” Lu Han said softly, tilting Yixing’s head up. “That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.”

Yixing blinked up at him. “What in the name of the Tree is a rose?” He asked.

“It’s some kind of flower,” Lu Han said, looking a bit put out. “Haven’t you ever heard that quote before?”

“No,” Yixing informed him. “What’s it from?”

“It’s…from a book from another planet. Anyway it means that names aren’t always important. You can call a thing whatever you want, that doesn’t change what it is. For instance, if we called cookies chairs,” he gestured toward to cookies, “They’d still be yummy, right? And if I called you Lay, you’d still be a seven year old boy who helps heal small animals and spaces out during Literature class, and you’d still be our friend and fellow Guardian, and we wouldn’t love you any less.”

Yixing took a moment to let those words sink in, and after a little bit he sat up, wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

“Hello,” he said to Lu Han, and held out his hand. “I’m Lay.”

Lu Han grinned and took Yixing’s hand. “Hi there Lay. Would you like to go have dinner with me, Tao and Kris?”

“Yes,” Lay said with a hesitant smile. “I think I would like that.”

The reason I wrote Yixing's name as "Lay" at the very end i sbecause he finally started thinking of himself as Lay.

Anyway, WOW THIS IS GETTING DEPRESSING :| maybe I should add an angst tag to this thing.

But in all honesty there is a lot of angst and shizz that I need to get out there before I can move on to happy things. These kids went through a lot, both on their home planet and on Earth. I actually have another Kai drabble in the works about him dealing with his abandonment issues and also Sehun’s fear of rejection if he tells the other’s he’s in love with Lu Han. Maybe after that things will start to brighten up ^^

Anywho, this is partly a gift for my wifey and partly inspired by Lay’s tendency to “forget his name” during his introduction. I don’t know, to me it seems like he didn’t pick his stage name. I feel that way about a lot of EXO’s stage names, they were given rather than picked. It’s like where the heck did Lay come from?

But anyway, hope you enjoy, sorry for being so depressing ^^;