#71:The God Gene (Part XIII)

Two Weeks Later

Baekhyun stared down at his teacup like it had fangs. Across the table, Kai was wearing a similar expression.

“On the count of three?” Kai suggested.

“No,” Baekhyun grumbled under his breath. “How about on the count of never.”

Kai sighed and flicked his finger against the cup. “It’s really foul stuff, isn’t it?”

Baekhyun pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. “It’s not working, either.”

“It is,” Kai said, “Just not as fast as you want it to.”

Kai and Yixing had been brewing a special tea for the last two weeks. It was composed of several types of herbs, which would help Baekhyun and Kai with their mental health. The tea they drank in the morning would help their anxiety and panic attacks. At night they drank a different kind of tea, one that helped them go to sleep.

Things had started to improve. Baekhyun’s gift was getting stronger, and he was healing a little faster. He’d smacked his leg against a table the day before, and where there had been a bruise last night there was flawless skin in the morning. But the panic attacks remained, and the nightmares had eased but they hadn’t stopped. Baekhyun was convinced that he would always be haunted by the horrible feeling of being locked up alone.

He jolted to attention when he felt fingers on the back of his hand. “Come back to me,” Kai said softly. “Think about something else.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath and forced himself to think about the look on Chanyeol’s face as he flew across the yard. He’d only managed to get a few feet in the air and he couldn’t go very far, but Kris said he was a strong flyer and he’d only get better. Baekhyun thought about Chanyeol’s laugh, the way he’d flown over and almost knocked him to the ground in a hug.

Baekhyun held Kai’s hand. “I guess…maybe it’s getting a little easier,” he admitted.

Kai smiled gently. “It will only keep getting easier, I promise.”

Together they leaned back and wrapped their hands around their teacups. “While it’s still warm,” Kai said.

Baekhyun steeled himself while Kai counted.

“Three, two, one…”

Baekhyun managed to swallow the tea in only two sips and then he dove for the glass of water next to his hand. Even so, the bitter taste of the tea lingered in his mouth, pulling the corners of his mouth down.

“Eurgh,” he said eloquently.

Kai nodded, making a similar face. “I wish we could make those little pills that these people used to have,” he said. “This method .”

Baekhyun stood up and retrieved two apples from the refrigerator, tossing one to Kai. After he’d taken a few bites, the taste of the tea was gone. Still the knowledge that he would have to drink it again in 24 hours made his stomach churn.

“Alright, now just glide. Do you hear me, Chanyeol? No flapping, just gliding.”

Chanyeol nodded impatiently, his feathers rustling in the wind and making him itch to get off the ground. “I got it, I got it, no flapping! Can I go now?”

Kris sighed. “Yeah, whenever you’re ready.”

Chanyeol grinned widely and ran back a few paces. He rocked back and forth on his toes a few times, trying to get a good feel for the wind, and when he was ready he bent over, wings stretched out straight on either side, poised to catch the air, and he ran forward. When he felt his wings catch the air current, he lifted his feet straight out behind him, toes pushing off against the ground, and prayed he wouldn’t fall.

In an instant, Chanyeol was gliding. His heart was racing and it felt like he’d left his stomach on the ground, and even though he was only about 2 meters above the ground he felt like there was no better feeling in the world than the wind rushing past his face and through his feathers.

His feathers…

Chanyeol turned his head just slightly and was left breathless at the sight of his wings in the sun. They were absolutely brilliant, the light making them change from deepest blood red to orange and gold, they looked like they were made of fire and Chanyeol found himself hypnotized at the sight of them—

Chanyeol felt himself lose the current and he desperately flapped his wings, trying to find it again, but it was no use and he went tumbling to the ground. He threw his feet under him and stumbled until he felt his ankle twist, at which point his hands flew out and he managed to catch himself on all fours, saving himself from face planting in the dirt. Even so, he knew he’d twisted his ankle for the fourth time that week.

He flopped onto his side and sighed, waiting for Kris and Yixing to come over and scold him. He was not disappointed.

Kris arrived first and started fussing. “Are okay? What did you hurt?”

“It’s just my ankle,” Chanyeol muttered.

Kris threw his hands up in exasperation. “I told you not to flap and what did you do?”

“Flapped,” Chanyeol said under his breath.

“You flapped! I have half a mind not to allow Yixing to heal you this time! Maybe a little suffering will teach you a lesson!”

Chanyeol pouted. “I was falling! It was instinctual!”

Kris shook his head. “You only made it worse by flapping, that’s not instinct. You were doing great until then, what happened?”

Chanyeol muttered something.

“What was that?”

“My ankle hurts!” Chanyeol yelped.

Kris rolled his eyes. “Tell me what went wrong, then I’ll let Yixing heal you.”

Chanyeol huffed. “I started staring at my wings and I got distracted, okay? Are you happy now?”

There was a second of silence and then Kris snorted, but he quickly covered it with a cough.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Chanyeol cried, allowing some pain to creep into his voice.

“Sorry,” Kris said quickly, “Yixing, go ahead and fix him.”

Kris held his hand while Yixing fixed his ankle, and Chanyeol was grateful but he was still miffed at Kris for laughing.

When Yixing was done he said he was going inside for a snack, since healing Chanyeol had put a dent in his energy. After he left Chanyeol tried to stand up, but Kris pushed him back down. Chanyeol landed on his but with a yelp.

“What was that for?” He demanded.

“I wasn’t laughing at you,” Kris said, “I know it seemed like I was, but I wasn’t. And I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“But you did laugh,” Chanyeol accused.

Kris nodded. “I did. But it was because I did the same thing when I was staring to fly.”

Chanyeol looked at him in shock. “You did? Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

“I wouldn’t lie about that,” Kris said. “It’s understandable I guess. I mean, it’s only been two weeks, you’re still not used to having wings, let alone using them. And they are really beautiful…” He brushed his fingers through Chanyeol’s feathers and Chanyeol squeaked, closing his eyes and leaning into Kris hand.

“Now I know why you like this so much,” Chanyeol sighed. “This is awesome…”

“It is, isn’t it?” Then he pulled his hand away. “I can forgive you getting distracted, but really there’s no excuse for flapping, not after two weeks of practice. You keep this up and one day you’re going to break a wing. Your still too heavy and your wings are too small for you to be flapping them around.”

Chanyeol hunched his shoulders and stared at the ground. “I know, I know.”

“Breaking a wing hurts,” Kris said. “I’ve been there, I don’t want to see it happen to you.”

“It’s so hard to keep that kind of focus though!” Chanyeol cried, “You make it look so easy!”

Kris grinned and shook his head. “No, I make it look practiced. It’s not that it’s easy, I do have to focus to do it, but it’s like…it’s second nature to me. You know how when you walk, you don’t have to think about putting one foot in front of the other, or even really when to stop? Flying is like that for me. I’ve been doing it for so long that my body adjusts to the wind and the air currents without me really having to think about it too carefully.”

Chanyeol sighed. “You’ve been flying for hundreds of years. You’ll always be better than me.”

“I’d like to think I’ve been pretty consistent after the first twenty years,” Kris said. “And when I was starting out, I was learning from people who only knew flight from birds. You’re being taught by someone who had firsthand experience. If anything you have an advantage over me.”

That made Chanyeol pause. “Huh, I didn’t think about it that way.”

“Compared to where I was at two weeks after my wings popped out, you’re already way ahead of me,” Kris went on, “I know you’ll be brilliant at this, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol preened under the praise, then yelped when Kris knocked his fist against Chanyeol’s head.

“You just need to remember to STOP FLAPPING YOUR WINGS!”

Kai was walking along the edge of the lake, lost in his thoughts. He was thinking about the conversation he’d had with Baekhyun that morning, and about Baekhyun’s mental health. The treatment available to them at this time was rudimentary, but there wasn’t much else to be done. At this point, talking wasn’t going to be much of a help. Baekhyun’s problems seemed to be stemming from past trauma, things he had already talked about. Now it was a matter of getting the hormones in his body back in balance, which was what the teas were helping with. Baekhyun was progressing, but Kai had a feeling that he needed something more. What would really help would be a way to get Baekhyun out of his own head, take his focus off the bad memories. Something that would really distract him. Kai had an idea, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it. it didn’t help that he was being followed.

Kai stopped abruptly and turned around, frowning at Lu Han. “You are completely unsubtle, I hope you know that.”

Lu Han shrugged. “I wasn’t going for subtle.”

Kai bristled. “Then why didn’t you announce yourself, or something? You’ve been following me for ten minutes!”

Lu Han fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist. “I was thinking about what to say.”

Kai sighed. “Well just say it, then.”

“Fine. I’m worried about Sehun.”

“You’re always worried about Sehun.”

Lu Han frowned. “Can you blame me, after what he went through because of me?”

Kai struggled to keep a blank face. “I try not to think about that. It was painful for me, too.”

“I can only imagine,” Lu Han said. “I don’t remember everything, I remember some things but I’m sure it’s nowhere near—”

“Is there a point to this?” Kai interrupted.

“I told you, I’m worried about him,” Lu Han repeated. “Ever since I recited the prophecy, he’s been a mess.”

“What do you want me to do?” Kai asked tiredly. “It’s in the past, Lu Han, and it was an accident. Sehun needs to realize that he can’t keep panicking every time you drift into a daze.”

“it wasn’t an accident,” Lu Han said. “It was sabotage, and it was a direct choice that I made to keep Sehun in the dark. What I did was wrong, and I want to fix it.”

Kai gave Lu Han a stern look. “Tell me that you if had another chance, you wouldn’t have made exactly the same choice.”

Lu Han glared. “I would have moved the asteroids. But I would have told Sehun what I was doing. I would have said goodbye to him and told him I loved him one last time.”

Kai snarled, “And then you would have had to listen to him scream and plead with you to stop. The last thing you would have heard would be Sehun crying.”

When Lu Han looked at the ground and didn’t answer, Kai sighed.  “Look, you can’t keep punishing yourself for a choice you made over a hundred years ago. You’re here now, so stop living in the past. Everything worked out, and you can’t go back anyway.”

Lu Han looked up. “No. But you can.”

Sehun cried all night after Lu Han recited the prophecy. They’d gotten away as soon as the others had been filled in, and the moment they got to their room Sehun had burst into tears. Lu Han held him all night, trying to assure him that he was okay, he wasn’t leaving any time soon. Lu Han wished his gift was at full capacity, he felt like the handicap kept Sehun from truly believing that he was back for good. Sometimes Lu Han had those doubts himself.

He wondered if this was to make up for the fact that he’d grown up with a family who loved him, while everyone of his brothers suffered through some kind of abandonment. Why else would he have been the one who had to bear the burden of sacrificing eight years of his life to being Lost? Eight years in which Kai and Sehun both suffered, the memory of which they carried with them to this day. It was part of the reason that both of them wanted revenge against the Guardians. Lu Han wondered so often, if things had been different, if he’d done something different, what could have changed?

Kai stared at him in shock. “You can’t be suggesting that I take you back in time. So you can do what, exactly? Warn your past self of the danger? Appear in the woods at the moment we knew you were Lost, and explain things to Sehun? That’s a selfish use of mine and Tao’s gift.”

“Don’t you see, though?” Lu Han asked, “It goes so far beyond that. We can go back even further. We can go back thousands of years. We can change everything.”

Kai caught on to Lu Han’s meaning and his jaw dropped. “That-that’s a bad idea. There’s so much that could go wrong, there’s so many people it could affect!”

Lu Han nodded. “I know. But I think it deserves further examination.”

Kai looked like he wanted to protest but Lu Han could see that an idea had taken root in his head. After a moment Kai sighed in defeat.

“Alright. Let’s call a meeting.”

The twelve of them sat in their library. Cushions were scattered across the floor in a lopsided circle. Everyone stared at Lu Han, waiting for him to speak.

“I’ve had a thought,” Lu Han began. “I started thinking about it a few weeks ago, after Kai and Tao began time traveling. I brought this up to Kai this afternoon, and I think it deserves to be discussed. Kai and Tao have given us a real opportunity to make a difference. If we can go back far enough in time, maybe we can change the outcome of the first fight against Mama. Maybe we can keep it from coming back, and stop it properly the first time.”

There was dead silence as everyone let that thought wash over him.

Suho spoke first. “You mean, go back and help the first Generation?”

Lu Han nodded.

“I’m not even sure if it’s possible,” Kai said quickly. “That’s a lot of time to go back through. We’re talking thousands of years.”

“he question,” Lu Han said loudly, “Is if we could do it, would we?”

“I would say no,” Xiumin said.

Chen looked at him in shock. “Why dismiss it so quickly?”

“Because we don’t know how much would change,” Xiumin said. “Who knows—if it happened, if we succeeded, which is a very big ‘If’ I might add, how much of the future would we change? We don’t know!”

“But we have a chance to keep Mama out of our planet’s history,” Baekhyun said, “We can take the suffering away from our ancestors as well as ourselves.”

“We might change ourselves in the process, though,” Kyungsoo said quietly. He looked at everyone in turn. “If we succeeded…maybe we would change our own futures. Maybe we wouldn’t be Guardians. Maybe we would never know each other.”

There was silence again.

Lu Han spoke up after a few moments, “It’s a lot to think about. But we have to decide if that’s a risk we’re willing to take.”

Sehun was sitting next to him, and Lu Han grabbed his hand. Sehun looked stunned, and a little teary. He leaned closer and whispered in Lu Han’s ear. “Is this because of me?”

“You were a factor,” Lu Han whispered back. “But so was I. I’m tired of being the weakest link, Sehun. Mama did this to me, and if there’s a way for me to take my life back, then I will.”

Kai cleared his throat. “Should we take a moment to think about it?”

“No,” Kris said.

Everyone stared at him in surprise.

“No?” Lu Han echoed.

“No,” Kris repeated. “We go with our first instinct. If we could go back in time would we change anything? I’ll start—I would not.”

“I think you’re being too hasty,” Lu Han said. “Think about all that we could have been if we’d been taught properly, by people who weren’t jealous of us.”

Kris shook his head. “I am happy with who I am, and I’m happy with Suho and Tao, and I’m happy with who my friends are. I don’t want to risk changing my life.”

“I would say no as well,” Tao said.

“My opinion hasn’t changed,” Xiumin said. “I’d still say no.”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” Yixing said suddenly. “If I could guarantee that we would still be Guardians, then I would say yes. but if it would change all of us meeting, I would say no.”

“I say the risk is too great,” Suho said. “We don’t know if Kai and Tao can go back that far.”

“But what if that day arises?” Kai asked suddenly. “If it could happen, which let’s be honest, nothing is out of the realm of possibility now, would we change the outcome of the first Generation’s fight?”

“Could we even do that?” Chanyeol asked. “What if we were overwhelmed?”

“What if the first Generation refused to work with us?” Baekhyun asked.

“Wait, wait,” Sehun said suddenly. “Guys, you’re missing the point.”

Everyone turned their eyes to Sehun.

“What is the point, then?” Kai asked, almost as a challenge.

“The point is to keep all of us from being hurt,” Sehun said. “Isn’t that right, Lu Han?”

Lu Han hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Yes. My reasons are purely selfish. To be honest I don’t give a damn about helping the rest of our world. Wow,” he laughed, “That felt great to say. Yes, I’m tired of being the sacrificial lamb—of all of us being the ones who had to give up everything. I want a chance to grow up with an actual family, one with caring adults instead of children raising children. I want the world we promised we’d give our future Guardians, I want it for myself and for everyone else here.” He looked around the circle, a challenge in his eyes. “Tell me that if you had a choice, you wouldn’t want the same thing.”

“Of course we would,” Sehun said. “We all want that, but…I think we’ve been going about this the wrong way.”

Suho looked at Sehun thoughtfully. “What do you mean?”

Sehun hesitated, like he was picking his next words carefully. “I think we’ve forgotten what it means to be happy. I think we’ve forgotten that good times don’t last but the same can be said for the bad times. I think we need to make ourselves happy again, and I don’t think going back in time is the answer. I think we’ve been letting our suffering define us for too long.”

“Wow,” Chanyeol said after a moment, “That’s really…wow.”

“Sehun’s right,” Kris said. “We need to do things that make us happy.”

“Like what?” Baekhyun asked.

“We could travel again,” Suho suggested. “We’ve been here for several years, but there are more places we haven’t explored yet. We did find that really big vehicle, the one that runs on electricity. I know it wouldn’t be big enough for sleeping but we could drive it around instead of walking.”

“We can talk more about that later,” Kyungsoo said. “We should go back to what Lu Han said. If we ever got the chance to go back in time and change the way things happened, would we? Kris, Tao and Xiumin already answered. What about everyone else?”

Everyone looked at each other, not wanting to be the first to speak.

“I would say no,” Chen said quietly.

Kai looked shocked. “You wouldn’t?”

Chen shook his head. “Everything that happened in my life lead me to all of you. I may have suffered but I’m…getting better. I want to see where this road takes us, because I think everything will work out in the end.”

“I agree with Chen,” Baekhyun said.

“Me too,” said Suho.

And one by one, they all agreed—even Kai, until only Sehun and Lu Han hadn’t spoken.

“I wouldn’t change the way things happened,” Sehun said, looking at Lu Han. “I know it may be a surprise to hear that, but it’s true. I know I don’t always act like it, and I know you’re worried about me. There’s a part of me that will always be afraid to lose you, but for the most part I’m really looking forward to the future with you.”

“Who says I have a future?” Lu Han asked. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to train a Guardian. I don’t know if I’ll wake up tomorrow.”

“But you don’t know that you won’t,” Sehun said, taking hold of Lu Han’s hands. “You’ve been alright so far. You’re here and alive, and you don’t need a powerful gift to train a Guardian. You have years and years of experience, any Guardian you train would be just as powerful as one that I trained. And we’ll be here to help you the whole time, if you want us to.”

Lu Han was quiet for a few minutes, then he sighed. “You’re right. I suppose it’s too great a risk to go back in time like that.”

Sehun grinned and hugged Lu Han tightly. “It’s going to get better,” he promised.

That evening Baekhyun met Kai in the kitchen, dreading the evening tea, but he was surprised when he found Kai and Chanyeol waiting for him.

“What are you two doing?” He asked, suspicious of the smiles on their faces.

“We have something for you,” Chanyeol said, practically hopping in place he was so excited. “It was Kai’s idea, and I think it’s brilliant.”

“You flatter me,” Kai said. “But it is brilliant. Baekhyun, close your eyes.”

Baekhyun sighed but did as he was told. He felt Chanyeol’s hands on his shoulders, pushing him forward just a little bit.

“Kneel down,” Chanyeol said.

“Why?” Baekhyun asked.

“Just do it, I promise we’re not planning anything weird.”

Baekhyun knelt slowly.

“Okay, open your eyes!”

Baekhyun did so, and promptly got in the face by an overly excited puppy.

Baekhyun sputtered and threw his hands out, trying to keep the puppy away from his face. “Oh my gosh!” He cried, taking In the wriggly little thing. “What is this—what—what happened to its leg?!”

The puppy only had three legs.

“She was born like that,” Kai explained. “One of the dogs had a litter of four, she was the only one born with a missing leg. Apparently it happens. I kept it a secret, because I thought she would die, but I was wrong. You would never know it was missing though. she runs and plays just like any other dog. Still, she needs some extra care. I thought, given everything that’s happened, it might be good for you to have—”

“She’s so cute!” Baekhyun sobbed, picking the puppy up in his arms and hugging her. She squirmed around, trying to his face. Baekhyun cried into her neck. “By the Tree, how can such a cute little thing exist? Ah, what to do, she’s just too sweet!”

Chanyeol laughed and rubbed Baekhyun’s back. “Are you actually crying?”

“No,” Baekhyun said as he continued to cry. “Oh what an adorable little baby, of course I’ll take care of her!”

Kai was laughing and Baekhyun looked at him indignantly.

“Well what am I supposed to do? You just dropped an angel into my lap! What kind of dog is she?”

“She’s an Australian shepherd,” Kai said. “She’s really furry as you can see, so she needs to be brushed a lot during the summer, and—”

“Tell me later,” Baekhyun said, “I’m too overwhelmed with cute to focus on you. This little baby!” He cooed at the dog, “I’m going to call her Angel.”

“That’s a perfect name,” Chanyeol said. “Now watch her turn out to be a little devil.”

I think

I think

I think

I think I’m finally ready to start working on the sequel. So the next chapter(s) will be preparing the story for that.