Lu Han-centric
Continuity: Post-fic

#10:Love is Patient

On a good day, Lu Han can tell a story from their childhood and recall everything from how old he and Sehun were to the side the moss grew on their favorite climbing tree. On a bad day, he was lucky to remember what Planet they were on now.

The Tree of Life could offer no explanation for why his memory function fluctuated like it did. Every morning Sehun woke up wondering which side of Lu Han’s brain he would get that day. He was still brilliant, there was no doubt about that. Even on his bad days he could solve a rubix cube in under two minutes, and Sehun made sure to always carry one with him wherever they went. He felt like in those times, Lu Han knew something was wrong, but he didn’t know what it was.

------

“Sehun?”

“Yes, Lu Han?”

“Do you really think we’ll ever go back home?”

Sehun turned over and laid his hand on Lu Han’s cheek. The twelve of them had discovered a very large house, and they’d been living in it for almost a month now.  Sehun and Lu Han had taken over one of the nicer rooms—it had a window on the ceiling. The moon was full that night, and Sehun could see every line on Lu Han’s face. He traced the worried lines with his finger, willing them away.

“I think so.”

“But what will we find when we go there?” Lu Han wondered. “Everyone we knew is dead by now. Our families, our teachers…the Guardians would be the only ones left, and by now the Darkness will have warped their minds.”

Sehun smiled a bit sadly. “You know what we’ll find, Lu Han.”

“A race of people who have never known peace,” Lu Han muttered. “They won’t know who we are, they might even be hostile to us.

“But we faced the Darkness before and we lived,” Sehun reminded him, “And we know how it was stopped the last time. The Tree is thinking of a way that we can kill it for good, and that’s just what we’ll do.”

Lu Han sighed. “But if we do go back, what will become of this world?”

Sehun shrugged. “What do you think will happen?”

Lu Han considered the question for a moment. “I think we would come back.”

The answer surprised Sehun. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t think that place was ever really our home,” Lu Han said thoughtfully. “Think back, did you ever feel like you belonged, even after you got to the Sanctuary?”

Sehun sifted through his memories. “I guess the only time I really felt at ease with my environment was when I was with you and the rest of our brothers.”

Lu Han nodded. “This place is exclusively ours. It will always be that way, even when other people start to pop up, it’ll be the place that we make. There won’t be any stiff rules regarding who you can see and when, or a set station that everyone needs to adhere to.”

Sehun pondered that for a moment, eventually smiling at Lu Han. “You’re right. It’s ours, it’s where we belong.”

Lu Han grinned and kissed Sehun gently. “I’m always right.”

----

Lu Han was staring intently at Chen from across the table. Sehun seemed to be the only one who noticed it, although that could have been because the Great Debate that had erupted over breakfast.

“The Loch Ness monster is an important creature!” Chanyeol insisted stubbornly. “I want to go make sure it’s okay!”

“It’s a myth!” Tao fired back. “We can’t go dragging our butts back across the ocean just because you want to go chasing down legends!”

“If it’s a legend then why did so many people believe in it?” Chanyeol countered.

Tao glared at him and brandished his spoon in his face. “Because they were nuts like you!! Baekhyun, do something about your boyfriend!”

“Not my job,” Baekhyun deadpanned.

Lu Han leaned in close to Sehun. “I thought he was dating Chanyeol,” he whispered, motioning to Chen.

“That’s Chen,” Sehun whispered. “Baekhyun has a rounder face.”

“Chen,” Lu Han mused. “He’s not from the South, is he?”

Sehun shook his head. “No, he isn’t. He was renamed by the Guardians.”

Lu Han nodded, but he still looked perplexed. “Why would they do that?”

Sehun shrugged, but he knew Lu Han didn’t want an answer.

Five minutes later, Lu Han poked Sehun’s side.

“What’s his name? I thought he was dating Chanyeol…”

Sehun smiled and shook his head. “That’s Chen. Baekhyun is dating Chanyeol.”

----

“You suffer a lot because of me, don’t you?”

Sehun gaped at Lu Han. The only other person in the room was Kai, and he glanced over at them and quickly pretended not to notice anything.

Lu Han looked at him sadly. “It can’t be easy for you…dealing with me when I’m having a bad day. I’m sure it gets tiring for you.”

Sehun shook his head, panic threatening to choke him. “That’s not true,” he gasped. “I…Lu Han I would never…how could you…”

Kai stood up and walked over to them. He sat down next to Lu Han and put a hand on his shoulder.

“We thought you were dead for a very long time, Lu Han,” He said gently. “Sehun would never think of you as a bother, because for you to even be able to speak right now is a miracle in and of itself.”

Lu Han looked ready to cry. “I’m not who I used to be,” he muttered. “I never will be again. I promised that would always be there for you, for whatever you needed and I can’t promise that anymore. I don’t know what I’ll be like tomorrow or the day after…” Tears slipped down his cheeks and he grasped at Sehun’s hand. “It terrifies me. What if something happens one day and I’m not there for you?”

Sehun gripped Lu Han’s hand tightly, the panic ebbing away. “No matter what happens, you should never think that my feelings for you have changed.”

“How could they not?” Lu Han sobbed, face in his hands. “How can you look at me and tell me that you don’t ever wonder what it would be like if I wasn’t like this? Don’t you blame me at all?”

Sehun just wanted to curl up in a corner and sob, because Lu Han was never supposed to feel like this. Kai, Suho, Kris…everyone had warned him that this conversation was coming, but he never wanted to believe it. He never wanted to think that Lu Han could ever feel that he was in any way unworthy of or beneath Sehun’s affection. Sehun was supposed to take better care of him than that.

Kai grasped Sehun’s shoulder firmly and Sehun shot him a panicked look. ‘I can’t do this,’ he mouthed.

Kai shook him a little. ‘You can,’ he mouthed back. ‘He needs you.’

Sehun took a deep breath and cupped Lu Han’s face in his hands, bringing him to look at him.

“Remember when I was younger and almost everything I said came out wrong?” He asked quietly.

Lu Han nodded, looking a bit confused.

“You stayed by me every day, and not once did you ever look down on me or make me feel like my disability made my opinion any less valuable than someone who didn’t take 20 minutes to get a sentence right. How is your problem any different from mine?”

“You were a child,” Lu Han cried. “Now you’re an adult and I’m an adult and I’m not supposed to need to be constantly reminded of Chen’s name and where we are, and I’m not supposed to make your life difficult!”

“But I still have that problem,” Sehun reminded him. “I still struggle with my speech to this day.”

“Rarely,” Lu Han retorted. “And you get better every day.”

“And who’s to say you won’t get better every day?” Kai demanded, startling them both. “You’ve already improved so much, Lu Han. Your episodes are getting more and more infrequent as the days pass. Furthermore, Sehun won’t give up on you because he can’t give up on you. You didn’t give up on him, did you?”

Lu Han looked up at Sehun. “I just want to know that you aren’t doing this because you feel like you owe it to me,” he pleaded. “I know I nearly killed you before. I remember when you held that rock to your wrist to try to wake me up. I don’t want to make you suffer any more than you already have.”

Sehun felt his heart break. “Oh Lu Han,” he sighed. “That wasn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. You saved our lives when you moved those asteroids, how could I blame you for something like that?”

Sehun pulled Lu Han closer so he could hug him properly, arms around his shoulders and chests pressed together.

“I love you. I never stopped loving you and I never will. You’ll always be the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Lu Han sobbed into his shirt. “And you to me,” he managed. “I love you so much.”

----

kyu5671 gave me the idea for this drabble, suggesting a conversation with Lu Han when he was “recoverd-ish”. I thought it was a great idea and had been considering it for a while, and I figure it’s a nice way to celebrate the 10^th drabble ^^

I never thought this story would be as popular as it is, thank you to all of my readers! You’re the best and I love you <3