Continuity: Chapter 2
Tao-centric
Warning: If this doesn’t make you cry well then I will just never make you cry.

#22:Heart and Soul

Tao had no memory of his parents reaction to his affinity. They didn’t even know it existed until he stood in front of his mother, dripping water all over the floor. He told her he’d been playing in the rain, but she hadn’t seen him go out. Tao told her he froze the rain and everything else, and went outside to try to walk between the drops.

That’s the clearest memory Tao has of his life before the Sanctuary. The next thing he has is Kris. He remembers Kris meeting him for the first time and giving him a funny look. From that point on, all his childhood memories involve Kris in some way or another. Tao doesn’t have the words to say how much Kris means to him, or how much he loves him. Nothing makes him happier than seeing Kris happy, and when Kris is hurt or upset, Tao feels like his world is off kilter.

When Kris injured his wing, Tao spent the first night in the healers room with all the other kids, but he didn’t sleep well. The moral from one of the stories they’d studied in class was echoing through his head, keeping him up all night.

Two days later Tao was playing with some of the older kids when he ran into Sehun (who wasn’t playing) by accident. Sehun fell to the ground hard but quickly got up. Lu Han rushed over and inspected Sehun for injuries. Lay ran over too and put his hand on Tao’s shoulder, but Tao pushed him off and glared furiously at Sehun.

“What’s the matter with you?” Tao yelled, and everyone in the yard jumped and stared. “Can’t you watch where you’re going?”

There was one unspoken rule in the group, and that was that no matter how angry you were, you never, ever yelled at Sehun; his speech problem made it nearly impossible for him to defend himself verbally, so rather than make him even more upset it was better to stay calm with him. Tao normally never yelled at anyone, but was anything but calm at the moment and he didn’t care that he’d just done something totally out of character.

Lay took Tao’s hand and Sehun’s hand. “I’ve got this,” he called to Suho as he led the two of them off to the side. The game had resumed, but Tao could still feel eyes on his back.

Lay knelt down in front of Sehun and took his hands. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

Sehun shook his head. He didn’t look like he was upset, just a little bewildered. Lay turned to Tao and put his hand on his back.

“Tao was afraid that he had hurt you,” Lay explained to Sehun. “When you fell he was very scared. He didn’t mean to yell at you, he was just a little upset at himself. Tao is sorry for that, aren’t you Tao?”

Tao nodded, having calmed down enough to be genuinely regretful. “I’m sorry Sehun-ah, I really didn’t mean to yell.”

Sehun smiled and hugged Tao tightly. “No ouchies,” he promised. “Sehun is sorry too.”

Having made up they went back to join the others, and no more was said of it. Still, there was one person who wasn’t going to let it go.

Kai was curled up on Kris’ bed, resting his head on his leg. Suho was on Kris’ other side, telling him about lessons and other boring things. After a moment the door swung open and Tao came barreling in, clambering up onto the bed to throw his arms around Kris' neck.

Kris kissed Tao’s forehead and pulled him down next to him. “That was an enthusiastic hello,” he remarked. “You okay?”

Tao nodded and leaned his head on Kris’ shoulder. “I just miss you.”

Kai picked his head up. “How can you miss him, you were only in the bathroom for ten minutes.”

Tao sat up. “I don’t expect you to understand,” he snarled.

Kris put one hand on each of their shoulders. “Calm down you two,” he ordered. “Tao, there’s no need to get snippy with Kai. Kai, Tao meant that he misses the way things were before all this, and I’ve told you before that you need to watch your tone. you have a habit of sounding accusing when you really shouldn’t.”

The two of them backed down and stayed quiet for the rest of the afternoon. Tao didn’t see the looks that Kris and Suho exchanged.

Just before breakfast the next day, Tao bumped into Kai as he was walking into the dining hall.

“Sorry,” he said at once, but Kai glared at him.

“What’s wrong with you?” He growled, keeping his voice low so Suho wouldn’t overhear. “Why don’t you watch where you’re going?”

Tao felt his temper flare but was determined not to show it. “Sorry, I’ll be more careful.”

“You’d better,” Kai hissed. “Because if you ever yell at Sehun again I will hurt you.”

Tao narrowed his eyes. “What’s your problem?”

“Your attitude,” Kai fired back. “And I’m not the only one who noticed it either. Suho told Kris about how you’ve been acting.”

“Liar,” Tao cut in. “How would you know?”

“They were talking loudly and I overheard.”

“You were eavesdropping,” Tao accused, “You know how Suho feels about that.”

Kai smirked at him. “And how do you suppose Kris feels now that his precious baby is becoming a bad kid?”

Later Tao wouldn’t even remember moving his hand, only the resounding slap that echoed around the room.

“What the hell is going on over there?” Suho gasped, finally noticing the two of them. He ran over and turned Kai’s face towards him. Finding it relatively undamaged, he turned his attention towards Tao.

“Apologize right now.”

Tao gaped at Suho. “What? He started it, he was egging me on!”

Suho had a policy that whoever started a fight had to apologize first, and Tao hadn’t started this. But Suho also didn’t tolerate hitting at all.

 “Regardless Tao, you don’t hit and you know better than that,” Suho said firmly.

Tao could feel tears stinging his eyes and he pointed at Kai. “And he doesn’t?!”

“Kai will apologize too,” Suho assured him. “After you do so.”

It just wasn’t fair, Suho didn’t even know the whole story, and Tao was about to tell him as much but the look on Suho’s face stopped him.

“I’m sorry,” He mumbled, not sounding sorry at all, but he looked Kai in the eyes so Suho let it slide. Kai’s tone was sincere as he apologized, but the look on his face wasn’t.

Nobody else had witnessed the event but when they all sat down to eat they knew something was off. Tao picked at his food without eating much, and Lay kept trying to get him to eat more.

“He’s just mopey because he got yelled at,” Kai remarked lightly.

Suho glared at him. “Kai, that’s enough. Nobody got yelled at, and don’t use that tone.”

Tao didn’t answer at all, just slumped down in his seat and pushed his plate away. “It tastes like cardboard,” he muttered to Lay in Southern dialect.

Lay pet his hair and bent down to whisper in his ear, “I’ll try to find you some fruit later, okay?”

Tao loved fruit, but he probably wouldn’t eat it. He was too upset for an appetite.

Suho seemed to think that Tao’s mood was his fault, and maybe he was feeling regretful for how he handled the situation that morning. For the rest of the day Suho kept his eyes on Tao and tried to talk to him, but Tao remained unresponsive.

Kai cornered Tao not long before dinner and pulled him into an empty corridor.

“I don’t even care that you hit me,” he said, keeping his hand on Tao’s arm so he couldn’t run away, “Because I would have done the same thing. But you really need to fix whatever it is that’s bothering you, and you need to do it soon.”

Tao didn’t answer Kai, didn’t even look at him. He didn’t look at anybody that evening, and he almost didn’t even go to see Kris after dinner. It was only because Lu Han carried him in that he wound up sitting at the side of Kris’ bed, keeping his head down and not saying anything.

After only a few minutes Kris stopped talking midsentence to put his hand under Tao’s chin and try to get him to look up.

“Are you crying?” He asked quietly. Tao sniffled in response and Kris his cheek.

“What’s the matter, baby?”

Tao swallowed and whispered so faintly that he was sure nobody would hear him, “Be careful what you wish for.”

Then he doubled over, sobbing into the sheets.

There was a minor commotion in the room and someone lifted Tao onto the bed. He couldn’t see through his tears but he knew when Kris tried to hug him, and Tao almost threw him off.

“It’s my fault that you got hurt,” Tao sobbed. “It’s all my fault!”

Kris frantically tried to wipe the tears from Tao’s face. “No, baby that’s not true.”

“It is!” Tao screamed. “Don’t you remember what I said to you? Two years ago I—”

“I remember,” Kris interrupted, and he grabbed Tao and pulled him into his lap. He spoke quietly, whispering into Tao’s ear.

“You didn’t want me to fly away from you and leave you behind.”

If possible, Tao sobbed even harder. Kris put his hand under Tao’s chin and picked his head up.

“Breathe,” he ordered firmly, “You’re going to make yourself throw up.”

Actually Tao had done that several times over in the course of the day, he had nothing left in him to heave up. He pulled out of Kris’ grasp and hung his head.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered. “I’m so sorry, I never meant for you to get hurt…”

Kris pulled Tao forward until his head thunked against his chest. “Don’t you get it though?” He asked “That’s why this can’t be your fault. Tao, you don’t have a malevolent bone in your body. You were scared and you didn’t want to be alone.”

Kris kept his voice low, leaning down so that nobody could even see his lips moving. “That’s all you wanted was for me to stay with you, and you would have wanted that even if I didn’t have wings. So even if I couldn’t have flown, you would have been afraid of my leaving you.”

Kris picked Tao’s head up again and this time Tao didn’t pull away. “But you’re not afraid of that anymore, right?” Kris asked. His eyes were teary but he was smiling so kindly that Tao finally started to calm down.

“You know I’ll never leave you, you know I love you, and I could never, ever blame you for something like this.”

“But—” Tao started, and Kris tugged Tao closer, tucking his head under his chin and holding him.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered, over and over until Tao finally stopped crying and started to believe it. By that point Tao was totally exhausted and all he wanted to do was stay in Kris’ arms for the rest of his life.

There were still ten other boys in the room, though they had moved to another bed to give Tao and Kris some space. Watching the two of them interact, Suho almost started to cry himself.

“Tao really adores him,” Suho muttered, “By the Tree I just…he’s so young and to see the way he looks up to Kris…and Kris is so good with him.”

“Well for a long time all they had was each other,” Lay whispered back. “But it is really touching. Even the little things they do…if you really pay attention you notice that even the way they look at each other is incredible.”

After a short pause, Suho spoke again. “We should let them be alone.”

When the group came back the next morning, they found Kris and Tao curled around each other, so tightly embraced that they could scarcely tell whose legs belonged to who. But Tao and Kris were just like that; always together, always so close that they may as well have been one person. It was like their hearts and souls had been one, separated into two bodies. Though they loved their brothers very much, they loved each other specially.

Even so, only a month later when watching Kris finally fly again did Tao finally let go of his feelings of guilt for the accident. 

I mentioned it in the story a few times but Tao was very, very young when he went to the Sanctuary-the youngest Guardian in history. As such he doesn't have a lot of memories of his past like the others do, so rather than talk about his parents I thought I'd give you some insight to his personality. I hope you didn't cry too much ^^;