so...i just wanted to say that this is the first time ive written something set out of the current time and it is also my first time writing a war story, one that is sad too...sooo...please forgive me for any inaccuracies!!!!

hmm...some background...its set right after the korean war so its 1953...i dont really know how people would have talked back then so its basically like now, the speech at least...also there wasnt really much information i could find online and i didnt really have time to do much research i used my knowledge from my history courses about other wars and modeled the story after them...

also, since there isnt really much information about prosthetics back in the 1950s...i used this as a guide and kinda changed some stuff to fit my purposes

and since i couldnt find out what yongguks sisters real name is...i made one up, but since i know that usually siblings share a similar syllable i made sure to find a name that suited that criteria!!!!and i couldnt find out the exact time difference between yongguk and his twin so i made that up too...

also, lots of the feelings and emotions comes from real life experience cuz...if you havent guessed...im a twin!!!!i dont know how yongguk acts around his brother, plus the story is set in a different time period, so i modeled him after me and yongnam after my sister...

...the start is in second person but it later shifts to third person...also the main character and like the main viewpoint i guess you could call it will be from yongguks perspective, im pretty sure only his thoughts are included in this...its also my first time writing in a format apart from "you" so please forgive any mistakes...

and that was a super long intro to this oneshot but it is necessary...anywho...hope you enjoy reading!!!!

Bang Yongguk

A man in army fatigues steps off the train onto the packed platform, a canvas bag slung across his back and a good sized suitcase in his hand. Pushing his way through the bodies, he goes to the stationmasters office and opening the door, he is greeted instantly with calm. Closing the door behind him he bows politely to the stately old man behind the desk.

“Hello, I’ve come to ask whether the train from Kumsong has arrived yet.”

The stationmaster peered through his glasses at the schedule set before him. Squinting, he trailed down the page until finally stopping. “No, it is not due for another hour.”

Bowing once again, he thanks him before leaving the office for the busy platform. Looking around, he spots an empty bench and makes his way over. Tucking his luggage under it, he sits down, ready to wait the hour for the trains arrival. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back and reflected on the past three years. Hell…brutal hell… Though the war was officially over, there was still uncertainty amongst the people as only an armistice had been signed. Let’s just pray that the North keeps the peace.

The man opened his eyes and surveyed the platform. He saw families being reconnected and smiled at the tears that were on both men and women’s faces at the delight of finally seeing their loved ones after three long years. Everywhere he looked he was greeted with the sight of people embracing or kisses being shared and lively chatter filled the platform, laughter ringing out occasionally. The platform emptied a little while later, only to be filled again with people waiting for the next train to arrive. Once again the platform became noisy and the scene from before was repeated and yet the man sat waiting patiently.

The seconds ticked into minutes and soon it was time for the train from Kumsong to arrive. Spying the white smoke of the coming train, the man pulled out his luggage and with them in hand, he moved forward with the crowd. As the train inched closer his heart started to beat wildly in his chest. He summoned up an image of his brother in his mind and grinned. Three years…to have been separated for three years when we’ve never been apart for longer than a week before… The train chugged to a stop and slowly men were leaping off just as he had. Eyes wide open, he scanned the new arrivals looking for a familiar face. He spied a man stepping off at the front of the train and his grin widened even further. Eyes never straying from his face, he hurried over to him and laughed as he saw his brother searching for him. As he neared him, he dropped his suitcase and sprinted toward him, barreling into him, he gripped him in a tight hug.

“Yongguk?”, the man exclaimed and turning around, his question was answered.

Letting go of him, Yongguk stepped back. “You haven’t changed a bit Yongnam.”

His brother grinned back at him, “Nor you.”, and he stepped in for another hug, but his brow furrowed and he pulled back. “What…?”, his voice trailed off as he saw the empty sleeve pinned to the front of Yongguk’s shirt.

Yongguk waved his right hand in the air. “It’s nothing Yongnam, I just had to get it amputated. I’ve been in Seoul the past couple of months recovering… I’m even going to get a prosthetic arm, that is once they’ve made one for me…”

Still speechless, Yongnam slowly reached forward and poked at the sleeve and upon feeling nothing, he reeled back in shock. His eyes grew wide and filled with tears. “This is all my fault…”, he whispered.

Yongguk frowned. “How could this possibly be your fault? It’s not like you could have prevented that bullet from shattering the bone.”

“I still could have done something, I could have stopped this from happening… If only I’d enlisted for active service too…”

Still frowning, Yongguk turned around and walked back to his suitcase. “Come on, let’s go home, we’ll talk later.” He’s going to start that ‘I’m the eldest, I should have taken better care of you’ nonsense isn’t he? Well, it’ll probably take some time for him to get used to this…after all it did take me a good couple of months to accept it.

As he walked toward the exit, he felt a tug on his suitcase. “Let me carry this.”, Yongnam said, the suitcase already in his possession.

Nodding, Yongguk just followed after him. On the walk home, they surveyed the damage that had been done during the battle that took place here. Since it had occurred during the first year, Incheon had already started to rebuild the fallen buildings and clear the land of the debris leftover. Though there was still much to do, it was habitable. As they walked, the brothers would point out several landmarks from their childhood and mused over the changes that had occurred. When they entered the city, they had to pause for a minute to take in the changed scenery. Half the buildings were in various stages of construction and the places where they hadn’t started stood out.

Yongguk held Yongnam back when he started to move on. “What…what do you think our house will look like?”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, if not…then we’ll just have to…”, Yongnam paused for a second, “I’ll just have to help Father rebuild it. I’m sure with the two of us, we’ll have it up like it was before in no time.”

Yongguk shot him a glare and scowled to himself as he followed his elder brother. Seriously, a difference of an hour and he think’s he’s got to take everything on himself… Well I’ll show him just how much I can do with this stump of an arm.

Night was starting to fall when they finally spotted their house and their pace quickened. Within minutes they were standing in front of the familiar door. Lifting his hand and placing it on the knob, Yongguk hesitated a slight moment before twisting it and pushing the door open. The brothers stepped over the threshold into the familiar surroundings they called home. They could hear the sizzling sound of something being cooked in the kitchen and the smell of the food made their mouths water. Still standing at the door they looked around, trying to spot the differences, but having been away from home for so long everything seemed new to them. One obvious change lay to the east side of their house, where the wall was in the process of being fixed. They heard the sound of shuffling steps coming from the back of the house and, as their father turned the corner, he stopped upon seeing the boys.

Staring at them, he turned his head to the side slightly and called out, “Honey? Come out here for a second… We have visitors…”

The boys smiled as they heard the familiar voice of their mother. “Who could it be at this time? Don’t they know it’s dinner time?” At this moment she turned the corner and in a small voice that grew fainter by the minute, she continued, “This had…better be important…”

The sudden quiet that fell over the household drew their older sister out of the kitchen too. At the sight of them, she simply uttered, “You’re back…”

Hand clasped over , their mother took small steps toward them and the boys walked toward her too, so they met half way. One hand each lifted up and cradled both of their faces. “Oh my boys, oh my dear boys you’ve come home to me…you’ve come home to me…” Tears spilled out of her eyes as she hugged them both, sobbing into their chests.

At their mother’s touch, Yongguk’s composure fell as he hugged her back. Tears streamed silently down his face as he reveled in the familiar feeling. Yongnam still held strong, but Yongguk could sense the relief he was feeling as this was definitely reality. Though neither of them had voiced their doubts, they had been holding their breath thinking this could all be a dream, but that doubt had now been vanquished. Their father walked up behind their mother and placing a hand on her shoulder, he pulled her back slowly only to be hugged tightly by her.

“Oh, they’re back…they’re back.” Looking up at their father, she sniffled out, “Didn’t I tell you that they would be coming home soon? And you doubted me…a mother knows things…a mother knows everything…”, and with that she collapsed in tears.

The three men quickly bent down to help her and lifting her to her feet, they led her over to a chair. Yongguk handed her his handkerchief, in which she proceeded to bury her face into. Sitting on the arm of the chair, Yongnam patted her back and quietly muttered soothing words.

Yongguk felt two arms wrap around him and he heard his sister say, “Welcome home.” She let go of him and went to greet Yongnam.

Their mother’s sobs had finally subsided and wiping away every trace of tears, she became all business like. “Get their bags and place them in their room dear and come help me in the kitchen Aeyong? Let’s finish up dinner.” Getting up, she hurried into the kitchen, intent on feeding her boys as soon as possible.

“It’s good to have you back, your mother’s been anxious to see you. Now why don’t you go wash up hmm?”, their father said, reaching for the forgotten luggage.

Yongnam quickly pushed his hand away. “It’s alright Father, we’ll do it, why don’t you go back to what you were doing.”, and he picked up the suitcases and his bag.

Slinging his canvas bag across his chest, Yongguk motioned for their father to go back to the kitchen. Smiling, he left leaving the two brothers alone once again. They then made their way up to their bedroom and entering it, they immediately dropped everything and dropped into their beds.

“Like they say, there’s no place like home!”, Yongguk sighed.

“No place like it indeed…”

They stayed there a moment longer before getting up to wash the filth they’d accumulated on their walk. As Yongnam took the first turn in the bathroom, Yongguk wandered around the room and stopped at the desk piled high with books. Both the brothers had been studying medicine before the war and had been close to finishing too. That was why Yongnam was able to escape active duty, opting rather to take care of the wounded. Yongnam had tried to persuade Yongguk, but he’d refused. I guess I can see where his guilt comes from…but it was my choice and I’ll live with the repercussions… The door swung open, disrupting Yongguk from his thoughts.

“Hurry okay? Dinner will be done soon.”

Yongguk went into the bathroom, and turning on the sink, he stared at it for a second trying to figure out how exactly he was going to wash his face and arms. Grabbing a cloth, he wet it and succeeded in washing his face, but his good arm was still as filthy as ever. Sighing, he turned and went back to their room.

“You’re done already?”, Yongnam asked in surprise.

“Ah…no…I was wondering if you could help me wash my arm…”

At the request, Yongnam’s face fell and darkened, but nodding, he followed Yongguk back into the bathroom. While his brother helped to wash his arms and even his legs, Yongguk could see the pain behind his eyes at seeing his disability’s true effect. Washing the now dirty cloth, Yongnam walked out silently. Having already changed, Yongnam watched Yongguk struggle to put on his clean clothes for a second before silently taking charge once again. Pining the left arm to his chest, a tear fell and rolled down Yongnam’s face to land with a splash on the crisp white shirt.

“I’m so sorry Yongguk, so sorry…”, Yongnam stuttered out, his head turned away from Yongguk.

“Yongnam, what was meant to happen happened, we can’t change the past so stop living in it.”

“No! It was my duty to take care of you and I let it slip and look at what happened! I should have insisted, I should have dragged you with me… I let you win that argument too easily. I gave in when I should have stood my ground…you’d still have an arm then…you’d be able to do everything without help…but no…”

Tension filled the room as Yongnam stood there berating himself and Yongguk struggled with trying to find the right words to comfort him.

“Boys, dinner’s ready!”, their mother called out.

“Oh I’m starving.”, Yongguk said awkwardly before hurrying down to the table.

Sitting down at his place, Yongguk stared hungrily at the set table. Since meat had been rationed, the dishes were mostly vegetable ones. When Yongnam finally joined them, everyone said their thanks and dug into the food.

“I’ve missed your cooking Mom, this is seriously the best meal I’ve eaten in a long time.”, Yongguk said with his mouth full.

Smiling, she just said to eat more. The meal was silent as their family wasn’t much for dinner table conversations. Throughout the meal, Yongnam would place food into Yongguk’s bowl, saving him from the trouble of having to ask someone to do so. His actions finally caught the other three’s notice and as each saw the missing arm, their eyes widened and filled with sadness, but no one said a word. When dinner was done, the boys stood up to help clear the table, but their mother pushed them out saying that they deserved their rest. While the ladies busied themselves with tidying up the kitchen, the men went into the sitting room outside where the subject of Yongguk’s missing arm was finally breached.

“How’d it happen son?”, their father asked in a quiet voice.

“A bullet.”, Yongguk said simply and his father just nodded in response.

In a cautious voice, his father continued, “How are you going to work then? It’s going to be hard with just one arm.”

Yongguk gave a reassuring smile. “The army’s put me on a list of men needing prosthetics, I’ll be getting one for my arm soon enough. Sure I won’t be able to everything again, but I’ll be able to do a lot more than now.”

His father just nodded once more and silence fell.

Yongguk broke it by gesturing to the half wall. “How’s the work going on the wall? Was much damaged in the attack?”

“Actually, that entire wing had to be rebuilt, we were one of the lucky ones though, so many people have lost their homes… The work’s not going as fast as we would like it to, after all the only men left here were the older ones, but now that all the boys are returning this town will be back on its feet in no time.”

“We’ll start on it tomorrow, it’s already half done so finishing it up should only take a day or two.”, Yongnam pitched in.

“Work? Oh no, you boys are not going to do a thing for a good week.” Placing a tray with tea and some fruit, their mother turned to stare at them with her hands on her hips. “You boys have done enough for the past three years and you deserve a break and a break is what you’re going to get.”

Aeyong handed out the cups and added in her two cents. “She is right you know, the wall can wait and after all, it’s summer so it isn’t really a problem. I doubt you two have gotten a good nights rest and a couple days of doing nothing will be good for you.”

“The ladies are right as they always are and I can handle the wall. After all, that’s nothing compared to the task of rebuilding everything else which you’ll be faced with in no time. Take this opportunity because rest isn’t going to be possible when everything goes back to order.”

With their talk, they managed to inch out a promise to stay away from the wall and anything related to it from the twins. Yongguk’s arm wasn’t brought up again, but he was sure that before going to bed that night his mother and sister will know the story behind it, what little he had told of it that is. With his long trip and walk home, Yongnam was soon unable to suppress his yawns and was urged to go to bed, Yongguk following. Once again Yongnam helped Yongguk into his night clothes. Settling into bed, Yongguk to his right side to initiate the nightly conversations they’d had before the war, but seeing Yongnam’s back, he turn to lay on his back. He’s completely changed, he’s so serious now, but a war does that, we can never be who we once were… The excitement of the day and the long walk had tired Yongguk out, so in no time he’d surrendered himself to the dream kingdom.

Taught by the war to be a light sleeper, Yongguk awoke to the rustling of sheets and the restless movements coming from Yongnam’s bed.

Waking up, he stared bleary eyed over at Yongnam and called out softly, “Yongnam, are you okay?” Not hearing a reply, Yongguk got up and padded over to his side and shook him. “Yongnam, wake up.”

At his touch, Yongnam jolted awake and looked around the room wild eyed. “Where am… What…”

“Hey, you okay? What’s wrong?”

Gaining a sense of his surroundings, Yongnam calmed down. “It was nothing, just a nightmare.”

Cocking an eyebrow, Yongguk asked, “A nightmare? You’ve never had one of those…”

“Yeah well things change Yongguk.”, Yongnam snapped.

“Hey, you don’t have to be all snappy.” Yongguk sat down on the bed worried.

Running a hand through his hair, Yongnam sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just tired is all.”

“Want to tell me what it was about? I remember that helping me when we were younger.”

“It was just stuff from the war…images of the wounded and all, nothing to worry about. Go back to bed Yongguk.”

Yongnam turned to face the wall once again and Yongguk was left with no choice but to go back to sleep. Though he managed to fall asleep once more, he could tell that Yongnam hadn’t. The next morning, evidence of last night’s unrest was evident on Yongnam’s face, his eyes were puffy with sleep and he had dark circles under them. Neither uttered a word about last night and got ready silently. Breakfast was a quiet affair too, but their mother pushed Yongnam into taking a nap after, which he did for a short while. As Yongnam slept, their father got to work on the wall and Yongguk took a walk with the intention of visiting the doctor to find out when his prosthetic arm would be arriving. When he got up to the makeshift infirmary that had been set up in the school, he was disappointed to find that the doctor was out on a call. By the time he reached home again, it was lunch. Restless, the boys were itching to do something as neither was accustomed to sitting around idle, a habit they’d had long before the war had started. Handing them a list, Aeyong sent them out to buy some things for dinner that night.

On their walk to the market, the darkness that had clouded Yongnam’s face since yesterday disappeared as the boys laughed as they once used to as more of their childhood memories came hurtling back. Getting to the market, they saw that apart from a couple of small stalls, it had been reduced to one main store. Walking in, they greet the owner and proceed to buy whatever was necessary.

“Mom’s planning to make our favorite dishes isn’t she?”, Yongguk commented when he took a closer look at the items on the list.

“Well that’s good, I’ve been craving some of them so desperately that it’s about time it was satisfied.”

The day passed merrily and when dinner came around, they were met with the wonderful sight of a dinner made specifically for them. After, they gathered in the sitting room as was their custom and while their father smoked his pipe, their mother and sister knitted, the boys threw questions at them about the past three years. They found out that all their friends had gone to war, some had died on the battlefields, some had come home with injuries and others were just coming home too like them. To Yongguk’s dismay, when they were going to bed that night, the look of guilt had returned to Yongnam’s eyes. Just as the night before, Yongnam awoke in the middle of the night, but Yongguk decided to leave him be, after all, Yongnam liked to fight his demons by himself, he always had.

The week went by and the boys had now begun to help their father. Of course, Yongguk was more of a hindrance and thus he was sent mostly on errands. After inquiring at the doctor’s, he found out that his arm would be coming next week and he couldn’t wait, watching his brother and father work made him spite his injury as he never had before. Yongguk could see Yongnam starting to shut himself off from everyone, he rarely spoke these days and grief and sadness filled his eyes, never once leaving them. Yongguk thought it might have something to do with his nightmares, but try as he might, he was unsuccessful in getting Yongnam to open up to him. Slowly the rest of the family started to see the changes, they started to see the perpetual tiredness that Yongnam suffered from, but as they didn’t know the cause of it they didn’t quite know what to do. Their mother thought it was best to be cheerful and their father thought it was best to keep him busy, hoping that a good day’s work would tire his body out enough that the moment Yongnam’s head touched the bed he would be knocked out. The only one who really worried was Aeyong.

“Yongguk, is everything okay with Yongnam?”

Yongguk gave a sigh and shrugged. “He’s kept awake by nightmares. I’ve heard about things like this happening to soldiers after returning from war, but…”

Aeyong nodded and they both stared at Yongnam in silent worry. Through that inexplicable bond that twins shared, Yongguk could sense that if things didn’t change soon with Yongnam, it was only going to get worse and once it did, there would be no turning back. Maybe when my arm comes it’ll become better, he’ll be able to see that it isn’t as bad… Yongguk knew that Yongnam felt heavily responsible for his arm and every time he helped Yongguk with daily things that should have been easy, the burden increased.

Finally the prosthetic arrived and Yongguk was fitted into it. It felt strange, it was quite heavy as it was made out of wood and its movement was quite limited, but the fingers could move so now Yongguk was almost able to do everything again. He didn’t need help dressing or washing and he was able to pitch in with the wall. Though he was back to normal, Yongnam seemed to have only descended further into his depression, as depression it was.

A month had passed since their return home and Yongguk awoke one night to quiet sobs coming from Yongnam’s corner of the room. Getting up slowly, Yongguk crept over to where Yongnam lay and through the moonlight, he could see the glistening of tears on Yongnam’s face. When Yongnam noticed Yongguk, he turned away, shame in his eyes at being caught. Silently, Yongguk lifted the blanket and slid in, just as Yongnam would do when they were younger and Yongguk had trouble sleeping. Of course, since they were grown men now, it was a tight fit, but the gesture worked its magic and Yongnam’s sobs subsided. Other than a few sniffles here and there, the room remained silent.

Finally, Yongnam broke his silence and croaked out, “Why won’t they leave me alone Yongguk? Why? Their ghosts haunt me and the images…oh the images, they’re burned into my mind…”

“You have to try to push it away, try to forget Yongnam otherwise you’ll never be able to lead a normal life again… Don’t let your guilt consume you, you have nothing to be guilty of.”

Yongnam’s eyes flashed at his comments. “What do you know? Did you witness the horror that lay on the fields after a battle? You think a battle is tough? Try being clawed at with hands of the near dead, cries of desperate men who were beyond the reach of help. I can still hear them, the sound ringing in my head keeping me constant company…”

Yongguk gave him a wry smile. “I do know Yongnam, I tried to help too…and I heard them during my stay in the infirmary. I don’t know, it’s just something you have to get past. It wasn’t easy for me and there are days when I’m plagued by my memories, but it’s just going to be like that for the rest of our lives. War…war is cruel, it seeps into every corner of your life and you’d think it would leave after it ends but no…it lingers in our minds. You just have to be strong and fight it down Yongnam…”

He gave a bitter laugh. “Well I just guess I’m not as strong as you are.”, and with that he shut himself up again.

As the months wore on, Yongnam continued to disappear. His appetite dwindled to basically nothing and his cheeks sunk in, he became a walking skeleton. Worried, their mother took to feeding him like he was a five year old and though he would eat everything that she put into his mouth, keeping it down was another matter. He never rested either, from the moment the sun came up to when it went down he was working on the wall and, once that was finished, on the other buildings in town. Aeyong and Yongguk forced him to the doctor, but seeing as how there was nothing physically wrong with him, there was nothing much that could be done for him. Tension in the house increased and fights erupted. Their mother blamed their father for his condition, after all he hadn’t stopped them from enlisting when they were but mere boys, and look now what his leniency had brought about. Their mother became almost intolerable, every little thing set her off, but no one had the heart to fight her since they felt the same. Yongnam was unaffected by all this though, the light in his eyes had gone out and he was nothing better than the walking dead. Every night Yongguk would hear the fervent prayers of his mother asking for help, asking for a miracle to bring her boy back to her, reverse the damage and return the once joyous, full of life man he had been.

Winter came and went and though the spring sun thawed the frost outside, it did nothing for the one covering Yongnam’s heart.

Just as the trees were budding a sudden change occurred in Yongnam, his appetite returned and he was smiling and laughing once more. Their mother was joyous beyond relief, her prayers had been answered and it would have been something to celebrate if not for the blank look that remained in Yongnam’s eyes. That same week, Yongnam crawled into bed with Yongguk and they had their midnight conversation, falling asleep while still talking.

The next night as they got ready for bed, Yongnam stopped Yongguk just as he was about to lie down. Sitting down on his bed, Yongnam motioned for Yongguk to join him.

Yongguk did as he was asked, but worry aded into every corner of his mind. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

“I…I just wanted to say sorry Yongguk. I know you think that your arm isn’t my fault, but it is… Sure what is a difference in an hour, but it is an hour…it’s 60 minutes…its 3600 seconds that I lived longer than you and that’s all it takes to make me older. I…I should have done a better job of taking care of you and not just during the war. I’m sorry about all the times I got angry with you…sorry for the fights we had…and most of all, I’m sorry that I wasn’t by your side when you needed me most…I‘ve failed you as a brother…” Tears in his eyes, Yongguk opened his mouth to interject, but Yongnam shook his head. “No, don’t try to argue with me Yongguk, no matter what you say it won’t change the truth behind my words. Now go, sleep, it’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”

That night Yongguk fell into a troubled sleep and nightmares gripped his mind so tightly that, try as he might, he could not wake up. Images of his brother flashed in his mind, troubling images of him walking away…of him disappearing into a fog…leaving Yongguk all alone in the middle of nowhere incapable of changing the course of his dreams. When his eyes finally opened, the stillness of the room confirmed his suspicions. Turning on his side, he started at the still body of Yongnam and the small pool of blood that had collected under the wrist that was hanging lifelessly off the bed. No…no no no no NO!

The door swung open and in rushed his father, followed by his mother and sister. It turned out that Yongguk had unconsciously been shouting. At their entrance, Yongguk sat up and swung his legs off the bed before crawling to his brother’s side. He heard a sharp intake of breath and the muffled sound of desperate sobs, but his focus hadn’t strayed.

“Yong…nam?”, he whispered quietly, hoping against reason that the sight before him was a mere allusion. In a stronger voice he called out again. “Yongnam? Yongnam, wake up.” Shaking his body, he said more desperately, “Wake up Yongnam! This isn’t a joke, wake up now! Come on, wake up! Wake up!”

By now he was sobbing. Getting up he whipped off the blankets hoping that the cold of the morning would jolt Yongnam awake, but he was met with a bloody site and whiteness of flesh that cleared his doubt and brought reality crashing down. Shouting and screaming, Yongguk shook the unmoving body as furiously as he could manage with one arm, but to no avail. He felt hands grip his shoulders and, though he fought it, he was turned away from the site and led out into his parents’ room. There his mother sat weeping into Aeyong’s shoulder, who had tears streaming down her face as well. Seeing the grief turned the clocks back and Yongguk became the baby boy who sought refuge within his mother’s arms. She clung to him tightly, rocking him and shushing him through the sobs that were racking her body. He heard the sound of footsteps thud down the stairs and the door opening and closing and knew his father had gone to fetch the doctor. He knew he should get up and clean the mess in their bedroom, but he could not move from his mother’s arms and the comfort they provided.

The doctor came and officially pronounced him dead. When he told them that, all emotion was washed away from Yongguk. His mother was still beside herself with grief and Aeyong kept her company, so it was up to the men now to make the proper arrangements. The funeral was planned for three days later and Yongnam was to be cremated. Aeyong made the urn that was to be used to keep his ashes. The days leading passed by in a blur, everything was almost mechanical in a sense.

On the day of the funeral everything was solemn. Rain fell in a silent stream, but there was no wind and everything was still, it was as if nature was grieving along with the Bang family. Friends and family had gathered in the church for the prayer and the viewing. Yongguk and his father sat stoically while the women pressed their handkerchiefs to their eyes every couple of minutes. After the sermon everyone got up to pay their respects to Yongnam and to the family and finally only the four of them remained in the empty hall.

The first to say their farewell to Yongnam was their father, who had managed to stay strong the last four days with dry eyes, but the tears fell freely now. Yongguk could only imagine what his father was saying as he knelt by the coffin. Getting up, he was followed by their mother who was openly weeping by this time, the need for composure having disappeared when the last of the people had left. She brushed Yongnam’s hair back and caressed the side of his face, all the while tears falling in a constant noisy stream. Gripping his hand, she knelt, sobbing out her grief and his father had to go lead her away. Next was Aeyong, who only spent about a minute by Yongnam’s side before leaving.

It was finally Yongguk’s turn to say his goodbye to his brother. Looking down, he saw the sleeping face so reminiscent of his. Staring he said nothing, but he noted the aura of peace that surrounded his brother, the peace he’d been longing his brother to have ever since they’d come back from the war. In his heart he knew this was the only way that Yongnam could have found it, it was the only way he could have set his soul free from the guilt that weighed it down. Smiling sadly, he whispered a goodbye before turning around and rejoining his family.

The four of them waited until the casket Yongnam was in was carried out before leaving. Yongnam was going to be cremated then, and the urn with his ashes was to be placed with those of the other family members who had passed earlier than him. No one had been sure if they would be strong enough to do it themselves, the knowledge that their son, their brother was nothing more than a pile of ash in an urn that weighed nothing more than a couple of pounds rested too heavily on their heart.

Finally the family turned to go home, to go home to the ghost of the memories Yongnam had left behind. As they opened the doors, they found that the sky had cleared, as if it was signaling for a new, fresher start.

Yongguk fell behind, his steps slowing until finally he stopped in front of a puddle. Looking down into it, he saw the face he shared with the brother he’d left behind.

“You could have gotten through it you know? You would have made it… I was there for you, I was there waiting to be your crutch as you have been mine. I was waiting to take away that weight that rested on your shoulders… Me and you, we made a pair, no matter how imperfect we were we fit together like pieces of a puzzle and now…and now…and now all that remains is a gaping hole where you should have been.”

Taking a deep breath, Yongguk moved on, the water splashing as he stepped into his reflection and broke the stillness of the puddle. As he continued his walk home, the ripples of the puddle subsided and the sun that broke through the clouds was reflected in it.

so how did you guys like it????did i manage to capture the essence of the story well????how about the emotions????id luv to get your feedback!!!!hope you guys liked it!!!!

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