On our way home, we were both silent. It’s amazing how Donghae drove the car carefully when he’s emotionally hurt. As his best friend, I know his heart is shattered to pieces. Everyone does. To think that he’s bestest friend was taken away from him.

The silence broke with my phone ringing. I look at the caller id. It’s my mom.

“Umma, why sis you call?” I immediately asked.

“Go straight to Donghae’s house. We’re still here,” she informed.

“Oh…okay,” I answered. I ended the call.

“Anything wrong?” Donghae asked.

“My mom told me to go to your house. They’re still there.”

“Okay,” he answered as he turned the car around.

I caught a glimpse of him. He was serious yet depressed. For heaven only knows what he’s thinking right now. Seeing him like this makes my heart sink to my stomach. I’m not used to this Donghae. I’m used to cheerful, playful, prankster, mischievous Donghae. I hope he won’t change to this person who I’m sitting with.

We arrived at Donghae’s house. He stopped the engine and open his door. I did the same and went out of the car. I noticed that only one door was slammed back…mine. Donghae was still in his seat. He squeezed the stirring wheel as if afraid. I hurriedly went to his side.

As I approached, he said, “I can’t come in. I’ll miss him more.” A mix of fear and sadness can be seen on his face.

“Hae, you have to be strong,” I comforted. “You mom will depend on you now. How is she going to depend on you if you are scared?”

“Soojin, don’t push it. Besides, there’s still Donghwa,” he said, this time, a bit angry.

“Okay, you’re not scared,” I managed to say, even though I got scared from his mood swing. “But, do you think you father will be happy when he sees you like…this?” I asked, pointing my hand on him like some example. I grabbed his arm and pleaded, “He loves it when you smile, when you’re happy. Please…be strong. I’ll help you. WE’LL help you.”

He released a deep breath and finally, went off the car. I turned around and started to head for the gate when he pulled me back and hugged me.

“Whenever I’m scared…” he started.

I waited for the continuation, but he started to cry. My impulse tells me to hug him back. And I did.

“…or afraid…” he continued, “…please stay with me.”

“I’ll stay by your side as long as you need me.”

I’ve never seen him this emotional. The last time he was half emotional was when his pet dog died, and it was when we were kids. As we parted from the hug, he held my hand. He didn’t let go of it. He held it tightly, as if scared.

I pulled him to the gate and opened it. He held my hand tighter.

“Don’t be scared…please?” I pleaded.

He breathed deeply. We entered the gate together and headed for the door. Everyone looked at us. My dad looked at me. He mouthed, ‘Is he okay?’ and answered with a nod. Donghae let go of my hand and quickly hugged his mom who was sitting on the sofa with my mom. Donghae’s mom manages to say, “We will be okay, right? You’ll be okay, right, Hae?” she asked Donghae. But Donghae’s only response was a sniffle. Donghwa, who was sitting on a nearby couch, only looked at his mother and brother. Pressure must have got to him, since today, he will head this family.

My dad then stood up from the sofa and walk towards Donghae. “Can we talk, Hae?” he asked gently.”

Donghae let go of his mom and followed my dad outside the house. Even I would like to eavesdrop, I can’t. It was a long talk. Mom was still comforting Donghae’s mom. I offered to prepare some tea and headed to the kitchen. Donghwa help me for a while, and then went out to answer a call. As I was preparing the cups, Donghae appeared from behind me, with slight smile in his face, eyes still puffy from crying though.

“What did the two of you talked about?” I asked Hae.

“It’s a guy talk,” he said, helping me set the cups to a tray.

I was intrigued about “the talk”. What was it that my dad said to Donghae? Probably some comforting words, right? Maybe it was just that.

When we went back the living room, the four of them were silent. I placed the tray on the coffee table in the middle and offered the tea.

I sat in one of the cushions on the floor and hugged a small pillow from the sofa. Donghae sat beside me. The six of us drank tea quietly.

My mom finally spoke. “We should stay here,” she said.

“No, you probably tired,” Donghae’s mom insisted. “Besides, we’re fine.”

“But…”

“We’re fine. We’ll be fine, at least,” Auntie said calmly.

Donghae kept his silence while staring at empty space. Maybe he didn’t want to look around that might trigger a memory of his father.

“Then you should rest,” my mom told Auntie. “We’ll get going when you rest.”

“Okay,” Auntie said, standing up. “Donghwa, Donghae, lead them to their car.”

Auntie held mom’s hands into hers. “Thanks for everything.” My mom replied with a hug.

Donghae didn’t answer but instantly stood up. So did Donghwa. Holding my arm, Donghae help me stood up. Dad patted Auntie’s arm and said goodbye.

Mom said, “If ever you need anything, don’t hesitate to call us.”

At the gate, Dad hugged Donghwa and Donghae, so did mom and I. I hugged Donghae a little bit tighter and longer. I patted his back, telling him things are going to be okay.

Dad was opening the car door for me. Donghae must have noticed the hug taking too long or heard the car door closed by my mom’s side, so he quickly detached from the hug.

“if you need anything, I’m always here,” I said and smiled. He returned the smile and let his eyes lead me to the car. I closed the door and Donghae waved goodbye.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT DONGHWA!

I just noticed while typing that I didnt include him on the story. So, I tried to fit him on whatever possible scenario I can fit him. I, also must have been to absorb in writing that I forgot to include any of Donghae's relatives. I'm such a pabo.

Maybe i should research first. ;P

~Crina