The celebratory party came after. The boys, their managers and Lisa and I were in a crammed corner of a restaurant. The place was packed with ELFs still waving their sapphire blue balloons and banners. I caught a glimpse of some of the boys waving back and exchanging winks at their fans.

A very long table was prepared for the boys, a separated table for the managers and I and Lisa were a bit distant to them by just a table. I keep exchanging glances with Donghae. His stare certainly asks if I need anything. I’ll look back and channel “I’m fine” with my stare, followed by a smile.

“It’s so noisy here,” Lisa whispered irritably to my ear, looking at the people from the table next to us. “Remind me again why we sit here rather than next to them,” she said, pointing at Super Junior’s table.

“Because, we’ll be grinded and pounded if ELF sees us eating with them,” I said. “I don’t need body aches, thanks.”

Lisa ordered bulgogi and some side dishes. I ordered the same thing, too lazy to read the menu. As the two of us waited for our order, we kept silent and listened to the comments and giddy admirations of the fans around us. Most of them says, “Look how handsome they are.” Some would say, “I want to get a picture with them.” And the silliest might be, “Do I look pretty? I want to look good when they see me. They’ll marry me in an instant.”

My thoughts were shaken by a phone call. I flipped my phone and saw the caller ID that I wished I wouldn’t see in a few more days. It was Dr. Park calling. I stood up and ran to the lady’s room.

There weren’t much people in the girls’ room. There are a few ladies inside some cubicles but it didn’t matter. I faced the mirror in front of me, staring at my reflection. I answered the call, a bit anxious.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Miss Han Soojin?” the other line asked.

“Speaking.”

“I’m sorry to bother at this time. This is Dr. Park Jiseong from the Seoul Hospital. I would like to inform you that your test result just came in.”

“That’s great…” I said sarcastically.

“…Miss Han, I’m afraid that there are problems in your test results. I would like to see you in my office tomorrow to clarify them.”

My heart sank. This is my I don’t want to get my hopes up. Clearly, I’m in great danger. I don’t want this.

“It’s back, isn’t it? My disease worsens, doesn’t it? I’m…its cancer,” I said, my voice shaking.

“Miss Han. I’m afraid to say it is. But there is still hope, I assure you. Please, at this moment, be strong. I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

There is still hope? Having cancer is not very reassuring. “Thank you for your time. And another thing, please try to not stress yourself too much,” Dr. Park added.

“Thank you, Dr. Park. I appreciate everything.” I ended the call.

My legs are turning into jelly. My heart is pounding inside my chest. My vision is becoming blurry, tears are slowly forming. I clutched the phone in my hand really hard, trying not to let go of it. I finally sat down, hugging my knees. Next thing I knew, Lisa was next to me, tears forming in her then calm eyes. She sat down and hugged me, trying to ease away a bit of pain and worry that I’m feeling.

I wiped away my tears, so does Lisa. We both stood up and walk out the door. We were both startled that Sungmin is standing a few feet from the door. He stared at the two of us with wonder and anxiety in his eyes.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

Thank goodness the restrooms were almost deserted because of the commotion that is Super Junior. The three of us looked at each other for another few seconds. Sungmin must have felt something is wrong.

“I saw you two stormed your way to here.”

“Did Donghae saw you?” I asked, looking more worried than I was a while ago. “Did he saw me?”

Lisa was her hands behind my back, trying to calm my senses down a bit. Sungmin came close and examined my face.

“He didn’t…did you cry?” he asked, staring at me, then at Lisa. “You both cry? Okay, tell me, what is going on?”

Lisa let out a huge sigh and looked away. I couldn’t move or say a word. All I wanted to do was let this thing pass, but…

“Soojin, please tell me?” Sungmin pleaded.

Here goes persuasive Sungmin; I really can’t say no to him.

I let out a deep breath and said, “Bad news came.”

“What bad news?” Sungmin asked, getting more curious.

“The thing we dreaded the most. I have it. Positive. I’m…”

Sungmin came closer and hugged me. Lisa is now crying her heart out. I followed; tears are flowing freely in my eyes. Sungmin my hair and hugged me like there isn’t tomorrow, trying to comfort me. I hugged him back, like all I needed from that time on is someone to depend on. Too bad, that person wasn’t my best friend, too bad it wasn’t Donghae, too bad I’m hugging someone else, too bad some other person is giving me strength.

“What is going on?”

A voice disturb the moment by someone’s voice whose I didn’t what to hear at that time. Donghae looked furious as Sungmin let go of his hug and face him. I froze from where I stand, not uttering a single word. I only stared at Donghae, staring at me, with his eyes fiery and his expression stern.

“Donghae…I was just…” Sungmin started, but Donghae turned around and went back to the other members. As he sat down on his chair, I saw his expression got better. He was smiling and waving at fans, like he wasn’t anxiously angry a while ago; like nothing happened.

“We better get back. I’ll explain everything to Donghae later,” Sungmin said.

Lisa held my hand to her and pulled me to our table. The fans that we pass by are still waving and smiling at the Super Junior member that caught their attention. I sat down on my seat, not wanting to move, or eat, or look at anything else. I clasped my hand together and tried to calm myself. When I finally calmed down, looked over to Super Junior’s table and tried to look at Donghae. I was surprised he was looking at me; his face looks like he’s thinking very deep. I caught a glimpse of Sungmin drinking wine. He was far from Donghae, so I thought he hasn’t told him yet.

Oh Lord, what should I do? Please give me strength to pass through this test in life.

I looked at Donghae again. This time, he’s drinking a glass of wine in one shot. Ryeowook and Eunhyuk are looking at him in awe. I saw Eunhyuk tried to get the bottle far from Donghae but Donghae still reached for it. He almost drank the whole bottle.

At that moment, I was breathing heavier. I didn’t know what to do.

“Are you okay?” Lisa asked, worry is on her face.

“I don’t know.”

Lisa looked over at the boys’ table. “Donghae’s drinking a lot. Should I tell Sungmin to stop him?”

“Let him do what he wants.”

I’m really not in the mood to do anything. But then, I couldn’t stand how Donghae is acting. Sure I was hugging Sungmin, but it was to comfort me. I know Donghae is very protective, but he shouldn’t act like this. And besides, Sungmin has been his group mate for the past four years. What else does he want!

I finally stood up and gathered my things. Lisa stood up too. Both of us didn’t finish our meal; like we only tasted it and forgot about it. Lisa went over to the boys’ table and whispered something to Sungmin’s ear. Sungmin stood up and followed Lisa who was on her way to my spot.

“You should rest,” Lisa said.

“I’ll take you both home,” Sungmin offered.

“No. We’ll take care of ourselves,” I said.

 “Are you sure?” he asked.

I nodded.

“I take you outside then,” Sungmin offered.

Outside the restaurant, some fans screamed at the top of their lungs when they saw Sungmin. Sungmin couldn’t do anything but smile at them and led the way.

“Excuse me…Pardon me…Out of the way, please…” Sungmin said to fans blocking his way.

He hailed for a cab. “Are you sure you’re fine?”

I nodded.

Again, fans were screaming, not Sungmin’s name, but Donghae’s. Sure enough, Donghae was a few feet from us. As he approached, he grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye. He smelled strongly of wine.

“We need to talk.”

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Another update...

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~Crina