After 3 more months of recovery, well, hypothetical recovery, I accidentally heard a very bad news.

I was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, waiting for Mom to come in with my lunch. I never like the food because it tasted nothing. I ate bland soup, bland dishes, bland everything. They said it’s supposed to taste that way, but my tongue is protesting. I officially hate hospital food.

 As I was saying, I was waiting for Mom to come, but she was taking a bit too long than usual. I slowly stood up from the bed and slowly walked to the door. When the door was opened half way, I saw an unexpected visitor outside my room, taking to both my parents. It was Dr. Park. He came all the way to Australia…for what?

They didn’t notice the door halfway opened; they didn’t notice me standing at the doorway. They kept on talking seriously with each other. I intently listened to what their conversation was about. I figured out some words…which I hope I didn’t hear.

“I have some news for you,” Dr. Park started. His serious face made my heart beat faster. By the look on his face, I knew something was wrong.

“What is it, doctor?” Mom asked. Mom was probably shaking. She spoke like it was hard to utter a word.

“Mrs. Han, Mr. Han, I have to ask you first to keep your calm and try to hear me first.”

Both Mom and Dad shared the same nervous face.

“I have to inform you that Soojin has some complications with her chemotherapy. Though her outer body looks really well and she looks like she’s recovering very well, there are some conditions that occur inside her digestive system.”

“I’m sorry,” Mom interrupted, “but Soojin is taking good care of what she eats…and she follows every procedure you told her. How come you’re breaking this kind of news to us?”

“Mrs. Han, I also am sorry to hear this news from the director of this hospital. The chemotherapy was unexpectedly making her condition bad than good. We…”

“Bad? What are you talking about?” Dad asked. His face turned from serious to furious.

“It is too technical to explain. But basically…her stomach lining was badly infected.” Dr. Park was talking very cautiously.

“So…” Dad started. “What do we have to do?”

“We are suggesting conducting an operation, a gastroenterology. In other words, stomach transplant.”

STOMACH…TRANSPLANT. WHAT!

“A transplant? Are you serious?” Mom said, shocked at what she had heard.

“That is the only thing we can do,” Dr. Park said.

Mom and Dad are looking at each other. They seem to doubt the idea of me having a transplant. It might be risky; I’ve know my parents, they hate risks.

“And another thing, there is a 50-50 chance of Soojin surviving…”

“Are you saying…she might…die from the operation?” Dad asked, words came out very hard.

Mom and Dad are tearing up. I, also, was tearing up. What’s going to happen to me? I thought I was getting well, but what is this? I thought I can live my life peacefully with my parents, I thought I can come back in Mokpo, I thought I can see Korea again, I thought I can be with Donghae.

Donghae.

I eventually cried harder when I thought of him. I thought…I can see his smiles again, can feel his hugs again, can hold his hand, and can kiss his lips. Donghae…just when I thought I can be with you, I’m moving farther and farther away from you.

Mom finally saw me standing in the doorway. Tears are flowing freely from our eyes. She walked closer to where I was and touched my face.

“I will never let go of you,” she said. She kissed my cheeks and hugged me tight. “God is merciful. All we have to do is believe in Him. Maybe a miracle will happen.”

“Dr. Park,” I said, “will I die?” I asked him straightforward.

He was taken aback. He might not have expected that sentence to come from me. “Soojin, I know I promised you before that I will do anything and everything to make you well. But because of recent events, I…”

“Will I die?” I asked again, tears still flowing.

“There’s a chance…”

My heart pumped so fast I thought my chest would burst open. I hugged my mother really tight. My Dad joined the hug and the three of us are crying at this misfortune.

I don’t want to die…not now.

All the members are hanging in the top floor’s living room. Loads of foods were laid on the floor, the side table, the couch and each and everyone’s lap. What’s the occasion, you ask? It’s my birthday! Happy Birthday Lee Donghae!

The members threw a party for me. I wasn’t expecting them to throw a party like this because just this morning, our schedules were packed; we were tired and sleep-deprived. But it was nice of them to celebrate my birthday even though they’re tired and restless.

Mom and Donghwa called just a while ago to greet me. Mom said she’s sending her homemade rice cakes to be received tomorrow. I love my Mom’s rice cakes! I’ll thank her again tomorrow when I receive it. Donghwa’s gift came first by the way. It was a gray soccer shoes. He still knows that I’m soccer junky. All I have to receive now is Soojin’s gift.

Leeteuk-hyung, who was sitting beside me on the couch, patted my shoulder.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Happy Birthday,” he said, presenting a gift wrapped in blue glossy paper with a white ribbon tied around it. He was smiling from ear to ear when he gave it to me. “This is MY gift.”

“I bought that, though,” Eunhyuk said, sitting next to me. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you,” I said while ripping the wrap away from the box.

The gift was a blue digital camera.

“I’ll kick your if you ruin my gift again,” Eunhyuk said. “Remember the phone I gave you?”

“It was as accident,” I said.

“When is throwing on purpose an accident?” Eunhyuk said back, after smacking the top of my head.

Then, the gifts came. I was under a pile of gifts after that. Then one by one I opened them. Heechul-hyung gave me a white-rimmed shade. Ryeowook, Sungmin, Kyuhyun gave me shirts. Kangin and Hankyung-hyung gave me necklaces. Siwon gave me a watch and a bible.

“A bible?” I said, looking at Siwon.

“You need it, buddy,” he replied. He gave a small smile and went back on eating his food.

We were so absorbed on the film were watching, when suddenly…

DING DONG.

It was out manager.

“Donghae,” he said, “Happy Birthday, kid!” He grabbed me by the shoulder and gave me a small hug.

“Thanks, hyung!” I replied.

“By the way, this came just this afternoon,” he said, handling a package for me.

I read the address; it was from Soojin. I smiled from ear to ear when I saw her name on the package. I was so happy I couldn’t say another word.

Everyone noticed my unusual smile. Leeteuk-hyung was the first to say, “Who was it from?”

“Soojin,” I simply said.

“Open it.  Open it. Open it,” they chanted together.

As I couldn’t contain myself anymore, I quickly opened the package. I put my hand inside the box, grabbed the thing inside it, pulled it out, and smiled from ear to ear. I hold in my hand another box; this time, it was black velvet with an engraved calligraphic letter “D” in the middle of it. I opened it, and smiled again for who knows how many times I smiled at that very moment, to the present inside it.

In the middle of the box laid a silver genie lamp the size of a 100 won coin, attached to a silver chain necklace. Encrusted in the middle of the lamp is a shiny blue topaz that sparkles whenever I move the box. It was magnificent!

I threw the package box to the floor and quickly took out the necklace from the velvet box.

“It’s beautiful,” is the only thing I said.

“Put it on!” Sungmin shouted.

But I was too engrossed in looking at it that I didn’t put it on for another five minutes.

“Donghae-hyung,” Ryeowook said, interrupting my thoughts of how beautiful this necklace around my neck is. “There’s still something inside the box,” he said as he pulls off a CD case out of the package box.

“Is it a movie?” Eunhyuk asked.

“I don’t know,” Ryeowook replied.

Shindong, who was sitting beside Ryeowook took the CD from Ryeowook’s hand and examined the CD. “To Donghae,” he read.

“Maybe it’s a ‘Happy Birthday’ video,” Kangin assumed.

I wasn’t too sure.

“Let’s put it on the player to find out,” Heechul ordered.

“No, wait…” I said. But it was too late. Shindong took the CD and placed it on the player. Eunhyuk pulled me down to the floor and told me to “Sit still” while he was busy grinning from ear to ear.

Sure thing is, it was a video. The first thing that showed on the TV was a title “To Donghae” in calligraphic letters.

Everyone in the room was cheering and hooting in glee. They were more excited than I am.

Then, the next thing that showed on the screen was Soojin’s beautiful face. She looked beautiful although her long black hair was gone because of chemotherapy. Instead, wrapped around her head was a blue bandana. Her cheek wasn’t the usual pink as well. Her lips were the same; soft and charming. Her eyes looked tired but still enchanting.

“Hi Donghae,” she greeted while waving her hand.

Everyone went silent to hear what Soojin is going to say. All eyes were on the flat screen TV in front of us.

“How’s Seoul? How’s your work?” she was smiling as she said this. “Australia is fine, by the way. You should come and visit if ever you have time. The place is great!

“By the way,” she looked to her right then showed a little black forest cake with a white lighted candle in the center. “Happy Birthday!” she greeted.

I loved the way she smiled as she presented the cake. “On three…one…two…three…” I blew the candle along with her. “Happy Birthday, Fish!”

“This is getting very cheesy…” Heechul-hyung commented.

“Shut up,” Kangin said back.

She placed the cake away and pulled something in front of the camera again. It was the black velvet box. “This is my birthday gift for you.” She opened it and showed the same silver genie lamp necklace encrusted with a blue topaz resting on my neck. “I pick this myself days ago. I hope you’ll like it. Remember this?” she swung the lamp pendant back and forth. “This was me before…now it’s you, right?” she laughed.

“You might be asking what the gem in the middle is. It’s a topaz, my birthstone.”

I knew it!

“This is the closest blue I can get. I can’t find a sapphire blue one,” she said, then giggled. “Keeping the Supper Junior loyalty,” she said, and then showed she hand to the camera, just like the way we do when we greet our fans.

She put the box down to her side.

“Donghae, I love you. Happy birthday! Keep on smiling, alright. Always have faith in God.” She waved her hand and said, “I’ll see…bye.”

Then her face fell sullen. She swallowed, breathed deeply and looked to the camera.

“Hae, if you’re playing this video on your birthday, stop the video now and play it again tomorrow or the next day or the next week.”

“What’s the matter?” Sungmin asked.

“Maybe we should stop the video,” Siwon suggested.

“No, keep it playing…”Kangin protested.

But then, Sungmin went to the player and paused the video. I was looking at Soojin’s eyes. I was asking myself ‘why is she crying?’, ‘what is going on?’, ‘is there something wrong?’

“You decide,” Sungmin said, looking at me.

Leeteuk-hyung, by reflex, went to my side and hung his arms around my shoulder.

“Do you want to continue the video?” he asked me.

I was hesitant, but I said, “Yes.”

Sungmin played the video again.

“Please don’t play this on your birthday. I don’t want to spoil everything.”

But, the video kept on playing. Everyone in the room went silent; too intrigued of what Soojin was going to say.

“If you think you’re ready on hearing what I’m supposed to say, then keep it playing.”

“I think we should leave…”Ryeowook said, starting to stand up from his sit.

“I think we should,” Kyuhyun agreed with him.

“No,” I said. “Stay.”

Ryeowook and the rest who stood up sat down again. I breathed deeply to try to comfort myself. But it was of no use. Leetuek-hyung held me tightly.

“Ummm…I’m having an operation next month,” Soojin started. Her tears are unstoppable now. My eyes are beginning to sting at the sight of her.

Heechul-hyung interrupted. “Donghae, don’t spoil your birthday. Stop the video now.” But his demand was no use. I want to know why my best friend is crying miles away from me. I want to know why this operation she’s talking about brings loads of tears. I want to know everything.

The video continued. “I’m having a gastric transplant. They’ll change this,” she said, tapping her stomach. “They said chemotherapy has caused more bad things than good things to my body. All they can suggest was to have a transplant.”

“And the saddest and worst part of it is… I have the slightest chance of waking up after the operation.”

The unusual silence filled the room. The earlier noisy living room turned silent, and all we can hear was Soojin’s sobs.

When I heard her say the last sentence, I was crying along with her. Other members behind me were probably crying along with me. This has become the worst birthday ever. To hear that your best friend have the ‘slightest chance of waking up’ was hard to swallow.

“Donghae, I never wanted this, nobody wanted this, but if this is God’s plan for me, please understand. We might say that life is really not fair for me, but…if it’s God’s will then…let it be.”

“Hae, I know this is hard for you. It’s also hard for me to take in. I don’t want to…not here, not now.”

I was breathing deeply, it’s as if the air in the room got thinner. Leeteuk-hyung ordered someone to fetch some water. When the water came, Leeteuk-hyung gave it to me, but I gently pushed it away.

“But keep in mind that I will fight to the very end. I’ll try to breathe as much as I can. I’ll tell the doctors to keep me breathing until the end of the operation. I’ll tell them that someone is waiting for me, and that I want that someone to take good care of me when this is all over.  I don’t want to end my life hundreds of miles away from you, Donghae.”

“Donghae, I love you.” It breaks my heart to hear those words. It was the sweetest but the saddest thing to hear at that time.

“I’m sorry to spoil your day. This might be hard to say, but probably this will be my goodbye.”

“The worst of goodbye…” she started, “is the uncertainty of meeting again,” we both said.

“I love you, Lee Donghae.” She blew a kiss, and the video ended.

Leeteuk-hyung hugged me. I cried inside his strong embrace. A cried a few more minutes, and cried my heart out. This is the worst birthday.

I looked at Leetuek-hyung. “Let me go to Australia, please.” But he didn’t say a word. Instead, he looked away.

I looked around the room and everybody was crying. Eunhyuk, the cry baby that he is, cried beside me. He took Leeteuk-hyung place and hugged me too.

“I’ll try and talk to the company tomorrow,” our manager whispered to my ear. I was relieved to hear that.

Eunhyuk looked me in the eye and said, “Be strong. Whenever you need help, we’ll always be by your side.”

_______________________________________________________________

Hello everyone!

Ever heard of a stomach transplant? Haha, I only have read it on the internet. I wanted to make the story as believable but...this is the best i can get. So the gastric cancer, then chemotherapy, then gastro operation. Medical terms are hard.

I'm sorry if i made Donghae cry in his birthday. Sorry Donghae fans.

Thanks for reading.

~Crina