I know he’s trying to hold back his tears. I know he is. Seeing him in this situation makes me want to hug him and tell him that everything’s going to be alright. But I didn’t. Instead, I stared a t him, half crying, half holding back.

This is the toughest blow in his life yet, and he’s still young. He looked solemn but still manly. In his white shirt, he looked angelic, but I swear he’d want to curse to the heavens right now and tell all the angels to go away. Because these angels are taking something from him.

I moved towards his direction and stood beside him. My voice was kind of broken from crying all day yesterday. We both cried the whole day yesterday.

I then said, “Donghae…”

Donghae looked at me through his black sunglasses. I didn’t expect him to smile but he half smiled, and returned his face to normal.

He said, “I’m okay,” and released a big sigh.

Then, the casket was lowered and I saw his tears flowing now. This will be permanent, and Donghae will not see his father again. Not in this lifetime. Donghae’s mother was crying her heart out. Donghae was comforting his mother, and the other Super Junior members can’t hold back their tears now. Leeteuk is helping Donghae on comforting his mother.

Everyone was crying, some people were crying, and I’m one of them. Donghae, my best friend, has lost his father. His best friend.

Donghae spoke softly, “Pa, we’ll see each other again. Just wait.”

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I'm off to a rough start. I guess its too short, huh?

~Crina