Donghae was standing in front of me.

Donghae dragged me into the restaurant’s semi-deserted parking lot. Some fans are putting their noses in other people’s business: I and Donghae’s business. Lisa and Sungmin followed, knowing that anytime Donghae’s temper might hit me.

“What are you doing hugging Lee Sungmin? Why is he insisting on taking you home?” Donghae asked calmly but firm.  

“Is something wrong about it? Why are you getting so worked up about it anyway?”

Donghae looked even more irritated. I didn’t mean to answer his question with a question. I just did. Honestly, I was shaking with fear.

“Answer my question.” Donghae looked me in the eye.

I didn’t say a word. I tried to calm my breathing. I saw Lisa and Sungmin debating a few feet from us. But I was more worried with this angry fish in front of me.

“Okay,” he said, smirking. “If you can’t answer that question, let’s rephrase it. Do you like him?” he asked, pointing at Sungmin.

I was shocked. “WHAT?”

“Answer me.”

“You’re being like…this because…are you jealous?”

Donghae’s eye widened. “I…am not,” he said.

“Then why are you acting like this?”

“I…honestly don’t know.”

Liar. You went berserk one minute then tamed next minute. Are you seriously telling me that all the commotion you did just now was out of NOTHING, more or less came from AIR, or from the oblivion of  a BLACK HOLE?

“You HONESTLY don’t know. How can you act like this if you don’t know? Donghae, do you, in anyway, like me? Do you love me? Like more than a best friend?” I asked, straight-forward.

Donghae’s eyes widened. He was clearly taken aback. He took a step backward and looked at me like I just cursed. I swear some ELFs are cursing at my back right now, but I didn’t care. I only want the answer from Donghae.

“I…yes,” he calmly said.

There’s the answer I needed. But it wasn’t the answer I wanted. I stared at him as he started to shy down and sat on the pavement of the parking lot. I noticed some ELFs are now crying or going crazy at one side of the lot. Lisa and Sungmin kept on staring at Donghae, like he was some kind of a lunatic.

I slowly sat down beside him. “Donghae,” I said, “this act isn’t necessary. All you need to do is ask me, not make some drama.”

“I’m sorry,” he quietly said. “I really don’t know what’s gotten into me. I just…well…when I see you hugging Sungmin, I couldn’t take it. It was like giving away my favorite shirt.”

“What? So, I’m a piece of clothing?” I joked.

I noticed a small smile on his lips. “No. It was like giving away a lamp on a very dark night.”

I rested my head on his shoulder and hold his arm. Slowly, he reached for my waist and held me closer. I looked at Lisa and Sungmin who now a bit relieved that the tension has calmed down.

“Soojin, I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted.”

“Thanks…. Soojin, I have a question.”

“Ask away.”

“Why did Sungmin hugged you anyway?”

I felt my heart skipped a beat. If I tell him the reason, he’ll know the truth. I wasn’t ready to tell him yet. Not this time.

“I…it’s a secret.”

I quickly stood up and walk fast, away from Donghae. I look over to Lisa and Sungmin and told them that I want to go home.

“YOU ARE TOTALLY UNFAIR, DO YOU KNOW THAT?” Donghae shouted.

Lisa, Sungmin and I stopped out pace. We turned around and see Donghae standing up and getting furious again. “YOU ARE TOTALLY UNFAIR!” he shouted again.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Leeteuk, worry was on his face. “I’ll handle this,” he said.

Another member came to the scene. Heechul was walking rather lazily. “What going on?” he asked.

“Donghae’s gone crazy,” Lisa said.

“What now?” Heechul said. He looked at Sungmin, waiting for an answer but Sungmin didn’t reply. “Aren’t you telling me anything?”

“Sorry, hyung,” was the only words Sungmin replied.

Then, we saw Leeteuk holding Donghae and walking towards us. Although Donghae looked like he cooled down a bit, the tension was still there.

“Soojin, can we sort this out on the dorm? Please?” Leeteuk pleaded.

Every single one of the members of Super Junior was in front of me, wanting to have an explanation. Sungmin, Lisa and I sat down on the couch as the members throw irritated and worried look at us. They stared like we were criminals. The aura feels like we were in an interrogation room.

Leeteuk spoke. “What really is the reason?”

Sungmin cleard his throat and said, “Donghae saw me hugging Soojin. That’s where it started.”

“It started when you start flirting with my best friend!” Donghae blurted out.

“I wasn’t!”

“Then I need to know the truth why were you two together, hugging and feeling each other.”

“DONGHAE, SHUT UP!” Leeteuk shouted.

Everyone was taken aback at their leader shouting. I never imagined Leeteuk getting this furious too. The other members either looked away or stared at their leader.

Leeteuk looked at me and asked, “Was this true?”

I couldn’t say a word. I was too nervous. Lisa helped me.

“Could you please stop blaming Soojin? She’s the victim here. And besides,” Lisa looked at Donghae eye to eye, “you are seriously immature! You get so worked up at this issue, but the truth is, you are just selfish.”

I hold Lisa hands to tell her to stop. Lisa looked at me and asked me if I’m okay.

“I guess…its time.”

“Are you sure?” both Lisa and Sungmin asked.

I nodded. I slowly stood up and walk towards Donghae. Cautiously, I sat down in front of him.

“If you really want to know the truth, then I’ll tell you, even though it will probably hurt the both of us.”

Donghae looked me in the eye. The members are now intensely listening to every word I’m saying.

“Sungmin was hugging me because he was comforting me.”

I saw Kangin and Shingdong holding their laughter. They must be thinking “Donghae was mad because of a comfort hug?”

“Why was he comforting you then?” Donghae asked, attentively listening.

Then, tears formed in my eyes. I tried to calm down and breathed deeply. “I went to the hospital a couple of days ago. And I had an examination. And the doctor said, just now, that I have a disease.”

Donghae held my hand to his and hold it tight.

“Are you sure you’re telling him now?” Lisa asked.

“I’m sure,” I said, looking at her. I saw Sungmin gave me a wry smile.

Again, I looked at Donghae. “To make a long story short…I have cancer.”

Everyone went silent. I can only hear everyone’s breathing and the sound of the air-condition. My tears finally fell. I finally told him the secret, but it didn’t make me feel better, it made me feel worse. I was crying my heart out, holding Donghae’s hand tighter at every breathe. I can feel his hands tremble. All I can do at that moment is cry and look down on the floor.  

“You know what?” Donghae said, pushing my hands away, “you are such a liar!” He quickly stood up and ran towards his room.

“Donghae, let me explain…” I ran before him. But I was too late. He slammed the door in front of me.

I cried and pleaded in front of his door, knocking it in between pleads. “Donghae, please open the door and let me explain.”

“I don’t want to hear any of your explanations, and I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU! LIAR!” he shouted.

I finally gave in and sat on the floor outside his room, still crying. Lisa was behind me, trying to calm me down. Leeteuk also came and knock on the door, telling him “Open the door for goodness sake.”

“Please, just let me speak to you.”

“GO AWAY!”

“I tell you everything, just hear me out.”

“I SAID GO AWAY!”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay here at this spot until you open the door and speak to me!”

“GO AWAY!”

_______________________________________________________________

So, finally, Donghae knew about Soojin's illness. i imagined the scene with loads of tears not only form Soojin and Donghae but with all the members as well. But i couldnt write it down the way i want it to be, SHEESH!

Thank you for reading!

~Crina