Hana seems happy with Jonghun. That’s what everyone thinks, that’s what everyone see. They forgot how Hana can be a confusing person to begin with.

I’ve dreamt of Minho oppa again and this is probably the ninth time that I did. Each day that I spent here in the hospital feels like I’m with him every day, for every time that I will sleep (Well, start calculating mentally that’s about twice everyday). I know... I know I like Jonghun oppa, and I know I did love him.

Did.

Did I just say ‘did’?

Hana was looking at the ceiling. Everybody went home because it’s past the curfew; 7:30. She had her dinner and drank medicines.

Does having this heart disease means I can’t get worked up? Like what? The last time I got a mild attack, my heart... it was beating fast. I’m not going to fool myself. Yes, I’m expecting to see him, waiting right outside my door.

Hana smiled, realizing what she just thought about, finally saying to herself that somehow she has feelings for Minho.

Why? I like seeing him... that’s the top. I’m Hana; you know I don’t say much. But... Jonghun oppa. That was my first kiss.

Hana closed her eyes and shook her head in frustration, pulling the sheets over her. “I hate this feeling, really.” She sighed, sulking, can’t sleep because she’s thinking too much.

-----------------

Today is the day that Hana will be discharged from the hospital, and it’s the first time that Jonghun wasn’t around. He needs to fly back to U.S. because of some problems with his admission in the university as a foreign student. Dr. Lee and Mr. Hwang never talked about Hana regarding her condition, Hana too never talked about it once.

She was sitting at the back with her dad driving, and her mom sitting on the passenger’s seat. Seeing Hana making a blowfish face, “Hana, honey, are you bored?” Dr. Lee asked.

Hana grinned, shaking her head left and right. “No, mom.” She quickly replied. “I just can’t wait to be back home. You know…” Hana explained.

Dr. Lee smiled at her daughter’s innocent answer.

…

“SURPRISE! WELCOME HOME HANA!!!”

Party poppers booming everywhere, people wearing party hats. Hana smiled when she saw them. “Hanaaaa~” Heerin and Hami run towards her to hug her. “We missed you.” Hami told her.

Key is present, so is Taemin; Hyungsik too and Luna. Jaejin was there too… more like Jonghun literally dragged his there before leaving Korea.

Weird. Why is Luna here? I don’t remember her visiting me once in the hospital and she doesn’t talk to me that much nowadays. I wonder if Jonghun oppa wasn’t lying about Luna liking Hyungsik sunbae.  

Hana looked at all the people there inside the house, with Taemin and Key standing beside each other, waving at her. Hana’s smile dropped but smile again when Heerin talked to her.

Where is he?

…

Everyone settled down; chatting and eating in the living room, while Hana was near the kitchen bar, eating fruits and drinking milk. Key suddenly approached her. “Hey pretty.” Key greeted.

Hana laughed. “Oppa, I know, I know… even if I’m pretty, Heerin eonni is prettier, right?”

Key laughed at her while nodding. “Where’s Jonghun hyung?” He asked, starting their conversation.

“He flew back to the United States; he needs to do something, so… yea.” Hana explained.

“Then… if you know that Jonghun hyung is not going to be around today… were you looking for Minho?”

Hana looked at Key. “No I’m not.” She replied shortly.

“Are you sure?” Key eyed her.

“Of course.”

“Hana, Hana, Hana. What to do? I think we’re soulmates.” Key shakes his head, sitting beside her on one of those bar stools.

“What do you mean oppa?”

“Remember the time when you noticed that I like Heerin though she’s too blind to see it?” Hana nodded. “And you noticed it right away.”

“And? Where is this going?”

“Now, I noticed…” He paused for a while. “You like Minho don’t you?” Hana’s fruit fork hit the tiled floor. Dropping it, shocked of what Key had asked her. Key picked it up and handed her a new one. “I thought so.”

Hana snapping back to her senses. “Yah, oppa, why are you assuming?” Hana whispered loudly.

“If I’m just assuming, then why are you whispering?” Key retorted back.

“No, I’m not.” Hana said sternly. She stood up her chair. “I can’t believe that you’re telling me this, Key oppa. You, of all people, you know that I like him for Hami, that’s all.” She explained.

Key eyed her every action, actually seeing her fingers fidget. “Okay, if you said so.” He said, smirking walking back to the living room where everybody is.

Hana looked at Key’s retrieving figure. She just laughs to herself silently. “So, there’s someone who knows what I really feel.” She looked at her plate, biting on an apple, sighing deeply.

-----------------

I was there, when she got discharged in the hospital, following their car till they get home. There’s nothing I can do. It feels like being paralyzed, not being able to do what I should do.

I pulled over near Taemin’s house and went to look for him. Apparently he’s at the Hwang’s. Heerin invited me to welcome Hana home since she hasn’t been home for almost two weeks. But, something took over me, telling me I should stop treating myself like a fool, following her around, though clearly, she doesn’t want me there.

Heerin asked me thrice yet I keep saying, “You know… as much as I want to, I’m trying to hold myself back. The more I see her; the feelings keep growing on and on and on.”I explained to her. But still, she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Minho.” Minho turns around to see Taemin’s mom, greeting him. “So glad to see you. Were you looking for our Taemin?” Minho nods. “He’s at the Hwang’s, half block away from here.”

“Then I’ll just wait for him here, would that be okay?”

“Of course, you can. I’ll tell the maid to get you something to drink, okay? I need to go back upstairs to work.”

Minho smiled and bowed.

…

He has been there for forty-five minutes but still, Taemin hasn’t come back. It was too quiet; he thinks that he’s going crazy. Giving up, he finally pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Taemin’s number.

“Yah, where are you?”

-----------------

“The question is where you are? I thought Heerin noona told you to drop by today?” Taemin asked back. He was sitting beside Key.

“I’m here at your house.”

Taemin chuckled. “Then what are you still doing there? Get yourself here quickly.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then why are you there?”

Key quickly snatches the phone from Taemin’s grip. “Yah, Choi Minho, where are you. Get yourself here this instant or I’m going to find you wherever you are and to drag you literally here.” And call ended.

Heerin laughed at Key’s sudden action. “Where’s Minho?” She asked Heerin.

“At home.” Taemin replied. “Our home, just six houses away.” Taemin explained that Minho is in their house.

“He’s serious isn’t he?” Heerin asked Key.

“Serious about what?” Taemin butts in.

Hyungsik and Luna were busy talking with Hyemi a few meters away from them, so Heerin doesn’t worry talking about it.

“About him avoiding Hana.”

“Minho hyung?” Heerin nodded at Taemin’s question. “Why? Is it because it’s a one-sided thing?”

“Most likely… yea.” Heerin nodded. “Because there’s Jonghun oppa, Taemin, you know better, right? That Hana never called a sunbae oppa before, except for Jonghun.”

“Of course I do. I was noona’s only friend way back, but we hardly see each other and she doesn’t talk to anyone. But then, Hana noona became friends with Jonghun hyung. Because Jonghun hyung is popular as a superstar in IPA, a lot of students befriended Hana noona.”

“Do you think Minho will come? Heerin asked Key.

“Well…” Key scratched his nape. “I don’t know. Though I’ve been friends with Minho for quite a long time, I really can’t decode him sometimes.”

Taemin chuckled. “I’ll go get something to drink.” He makes his way to the kitchen where Hana is together with Dr. Lee.

“Baby, I need to talk to you about something.” Heerin glared at him. “And it’s not about us, I love you with all my heart, you know that.” Heerin then looked at him normally.

“Okay then.” Heerin agreed.

“We should go in the garden. I don’t want to anyone to hear us.”

…

“So, what is it that you wanna talk about?” Heerin asked. They sat at the swing under the tree.

“Heerin, do you notice something weird with Hana?”

Heerin’s eyes squinted, tilting her head. “No. Why?”

“I was wondering… maybe she likes Minho.”

“No way! With Jonghun oppa around? Key, I told you all about it right?”

“Yea, you did. But…” Key paused for a while. “Haven’t you noticed how she would react whenever she would hear Minho’s name?” Heerin shakes her head. “Her fingers would fidget and she looks away.”

“Maybe it’s because she just feels guilty.” Heerin assumed.

“Baby, tell me why is she looking for someone earlier when she knows that Jonghun hyung will be out of the country?”

Heerin remained silent looking at Key.

“Every time I would ask her if she likes Minho, she would say ‘Hami likes him’ not ‘I don’t like him’ or something related to that.”

“Baby, you saw it with your own two eyes too; Jonghun oppa and Hana, kissing in the hospital’s garden.” Heerin said in matter-of-fact tone.

Key nodded. “Yea I did. I was there, you were there, Hami was there, even Minho too.”

“We’re getting frustrated with this, seriously. I hope Minho would make a ing move so we would know what’s going to happen.”

“Heerin! You are cursing?”

“On times I get frustrated.” Heerin reasoned out. “It runs in the blood, don’t worry too much, baby.” Heerin explained telling Key that Hana and Hami curse when they are frustrated too.

-----------------

Hami, Hyungsik, and Luna were sitting in the living room, talking. Mostly just Hyungsik and Hami with Luna being casted out.

‘Hana is not on the way, now it’s Hami. What’s wrong with these twins?’  It was what was running through Luna’s head.

Hami and Hyungsik got comfortable around each other in a snap of fingers. Totally opposite about how long did Hyungsik take just to get Hana talk to him comfortably.

“I like seeing new places too.” Hami told Hyungsik when he told her how he likes travelling and stuffs.

“We should go mountain climbing sometime.” Hyungsik suggested.

“Of course, I would love that. But… Hana can’t go. You know… mom kind of forbids her to be stressed out.” Hami reasoned.

Hyungsik shrugged. “Then I guess we’ll have to go without Hana. I would love to take her to different places.

Somewhere, deep in in Hami’s heart, there’s a pang of pain. Hami smiled when Hyungsik looked at her way.

“Luna, what do you think? Do you wanna come?”

Luna grinned. “Of course.” Luna smirking to herself how she can get Hyungsik all to herself when they go backpacking.

-----------------

It’s already twilight, Hyungsik offered to take Luna home, the two of them were the ones who left first. Jaejin went to Hana’s room and said goodbye because it’s going to get dark soon, saying, “When Jonghun hyung comes back, tell him I’m not talking to him.” Afterwards laughing at his childish acts, making Hana laugh too.

Hami was helping Dr. Lee and Mrs. Kim clean up in the kitchen leaving Heerin, Key, and Taemin on the living room.

“So, he didn’t come after all.” Key commented.

“I called home; they said Minho hyung left a few hours ago. Oh well, we can’t do anything about that. I’ll go ahead then; I’ll see what I can get him to talk about.” Taemin made a quick trip upstairs to say goodbye to Hana who was sitting on her bed watching some sitcom.

Heerin was walking Key out, until a delivery van stops right where Hyungsik parked his car.

“Who is that?” Key asked.

There was the delivery man bringing a basket of roses with an enveloped stuck in it. “Delivery for Ms. Hana.”

“Ah – yes. I’ll take it.” Heerin signed the delivery slip.

“From whom?” Key tried to open the envelope but it was sealed with writings at the back. ‘For Hana’. Key smirked.

“YAH, what’s with that cheeky smile?” Heerin asked.

“This handwriting… no one can ever deny this handwriting belongs to Minho.”

-----------------

“Hana…” Heerin knocks on Hana’s door.

“Come in, eonni.”

Heerin peeps her head in. “Are you busy?” Hana shakes her head. “I got something for you.” Heerin holds out the basket to her. “And you’ve got a letter.”

Curiosity takes over Hana. “From whom?”

“Minho.”

At that instant, Heerin saw Hana’s fingers fidget and she’s looking elsewhere, seems distracted. ‘So this is what Key was talking about.’  She shakes her head.

Heerin drops the basket on her bedside table, taking the envelop. She took Hana’s hand and hands her the envelope. “Take it, read it. Maybe you’ll find the most sincere words you’ve ever seen there.” Heerin smiled at her. “Don’t throw it. If ever you want to, read it first.” Then Heerin makes a quick exit out of Hana’s room.

-----------------

Hana,

            Hey, just writing to say hi. After all the things that happened

I don’t think I can face you anymore. The first time I saw you was  

during the game, in the field, when they said that Hyungsik’s most

awaited audience is there. I thought it was Hami, just a bit sweeter

and stuffs like that. I don’t know why but I felt pain, somewhere in my

heart. I thought it was Hami who was helping me in the accident, but

those were your loving hands, treating those bleeding wounds. I

was in love for the very first time, I must say. It’s the first time. I want

to see Hami every day, but the feelings weren’t there. I thought it was

weird because I know what I feel but whenever I’m with her, the

feelings are somewhat, absent? Why do you keep hiding from me?

That’s what I keep asking myself after I’ve known the truth. That all

this time, it’s not Hami, but it’s you. Foolish, that’s what I think of

myself. They didn’t tell me that you existed, I figure it out myself.

 I was so mad, but seeing you, all of those were gone. I thought

I can do things to make it work out. But it’s harder that I think

it would be. Of course if you were going to weigh me and Hami,

as they say, blood is thicker than water. Because Hami likes me

that’s why you refused to consider my feelings. I didn’t get mad

at you, rather, I loved you more. Putting others first before yourself

takes great responsibility and I admire you more for that. And now

that we’ve gone this far, I know I already lost. You’ve got what you

love right in front of you. Your family and Jonghun. I need not to say

more. But please don’t ask me not to love you, because that’s what

I’m holding on to. It’s what makes me able to wake up and the morning

and wanting to live.

                                                                                    -Minho

P.S. If you’re wondering about that bracelet, it’s mine. Please don’t

take it off or give it back. It gives me strength.

There were tears in Hana’s eyes, flowing down her cheeks, but she’s happy she read it. She laughed silently putting the letter near her heart, wiping those tears away.

No. You never lost.

-----------------

So now, I'm officially unemployed and currently looking for a job here and there and everywhere. I want to show you a picture of the graudtion but...nah, it's nothing. I'm sorry for the late update though it's been exactly a week since the graduation.

"Will Hana tell her real feelings about Minho this time?"

"Is it now Hami-Hyungsik-Luna love triangle?"

REPLIES

pandagirl753, polygons, very hard to deal with. But its love, and that alone is complicated.

keroro09, thank you sooo much… I don’t know how to address you since I don’t know your name but… yea… THANK YOUUU <333

rhenrhenn, the hankies… they contributed big time to the story..XD at least I think they did.. XD

onkeyjongmintae, you’ll find out soon.. :))